I suffer from really bad anxiety, hypochondria and the occassional panic attack (among many other unrelated disorders). About 5 months ago something triggered me and ever since then I have thought that I have the disease (I won't even mention it's name because I don't want to "re-trigger" myself). I even feel like I have some of the symptoms too but they could also be symptoms of something else and it's driving me nuts. The disease I am thinking about is rare but 100% fatal so for months now I have been literally planning my death.
Since that first day, it has been downhill. I took up drinking to stay "sane", I take a benzo every morning and a sleeping pill at night. It has been a roller coaster of drugs, alcohol, anxiety, depression, fear and panic attacks. I have come to hate my life and feel like an empty shell of the happy and vibrant person I once was.
My main question is this. How long has your perceived "disease" lasted so far and is anyone else here on the same drug and/or alcohol merry-go-round I just described?.
- Lonely Traveler
Last edited by LonelyTraveler; 09-06-2005 at 08:16 PM.
You are in a terrible cycle. I strongly recommend that you see a therapist. I feel that you are in a place that cannnot be excaped thru anything chemical. I am not in anyway against prescriptions..but they cannot 'cure' the problem. They only ease the symptoms. I URGE you to please make a call today. Make an appointment. You do not have to live like this. This is a miserable exsistance. Get your life back. You have the power to do it..only you.
I have been on that cycle, sometimes minimum doses of pills, alcohol, panic, depression, more alcohol, once a total 6 month bender, and I mean big bender, every day I drank and took whatever I could get my hands on.
I improved by a good doctor, a small amount of councelling,and self help books, breathing techniques, facing my fears head on, relaxation tapes....... there is an end to the cycle, but you have to do it...and really want to do it. Its no way to live, believe me.
How old are you ?do you have family etc
I have been a drinking binge for 6 months or so,I feel fine don't get hangovers but have to drink a little everyday.everyone is so worried about me drinking but it does not interfer with what I do on a everyday basis.I still get the job done and there is so much to doI have tried to cot down on the klonopin and that seems to help a little but still have panic attacks when trying to sleep
I had my first major anxiety attack almost 20 years ago and I have had problems with anxiety on and off ever since then. I see myself always having to deal with anxiety relapses when my stress level escalates out of my control. I have been on several SSRI's, Amitriptyline, Xanax, sleeping pills and other things over the years to try and cope, all the while having 1-2 drinks almost every day. I used to smoke up to a pack of cigarettes a day also. Now, I've come to a place where I don't smoke and I only take half a dose of Xanax (.25 mg) once or twice a week. I still have wine every night, but lately I've been thinking about stopping that too. My feeling is that the more stuff we put into our bodies, the more difficult it is to cope with obstacles. Chemicals, including alcohol, bring their own set of problems and thus create even more anxiety in an already anxious person. I am grateful to have my Xanax, though, when I feel so bad I can't drive. It gets me where I need to be. Also, if I imagine I have a serious illness, because I am a worrier too, I get it checked by my doctor. If he says I'm okay, I try to have faith and put the worry behind me. You are not alone...many of us on here have been where you are. I hope you can find some peace.
I have had disabling anxiety for the past 4 years, and countless diseases throughout my life.
Spencer, I doubt you have an enlarged heart. I can feel mine beat on the left side of my chest, too. It almost feels like it's pulsating through the ribcageif I lie on my left side. I think maybe it's normal
We could have wines together at night,!! I go home and have a few, I can go without if needed be, but most of my social life involves some sort of drinking, I live with a restaurant owner on premises, so food and alcohol; are everywhere.
As far as the enlarged heart goes , thats normal,everyone can feel pulses in their bodies. ( if you didnt I would guess that you were dead Ha Ha)
apart from drinking and pills are you guys doing anything to help anxiety and panic,actually to me its all the same thing really.If I have anxiety I panic and want to get home... But I have come so far and for the better. I put it down to changing negative thoughts to positive....If you say "I cant" all the time then your brain believes this, whereas I can, I can, I can .. and so on. There are good tapes around.and its quite easy thru the day to just re-affirm positives about yourself. It just takes practice and patience.