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Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

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Old 09-07-2005, 12:55 PM   #1
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anxietysucks HB User
Unhappy Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

You know, I thought I was doing the right thing. I've seen the same fam. doc. for 3 years for my anxiety. Always completely honest. Sometimes I didn't do well with my Xanax as in I ran short for the month. Let me say, I usually (90% of the time) have chronic daily anxiety. I wake up with it. I thought we had a good relationship. I'd tell him the different techniques I was trying, hot baths, hobby, journaling, deep breath. I really, really tried but I still had to have my Xanax. Nobody was more disappointed than me. I don't want the pills or the anxiety. Why wouldn't I try? The last time I talked to his office, his assistant informed me he wanted me to go see a psychiatrist. I was offended because I felt as though he was stereotyping me. Anyway, I made an appointment with someone to start CBT. I called my doctors office to let them know. I wanted to know if my doctor would want to work in connection with this therapist. My understanding is the psychoanalyst I will be seeing doesn't prescribe, so I will still need my doctor.

My doctor will not call me back. I think he thinks I'm either crazy or I don't know. I'm having bad dreams about my doctor once a week. I had so much trust in him. Even if I do try to find another doctor, will they think I'm doctor shopping just looking for my benzos? Nobody wants to take on a new patient that's on benzos. To be honest, I'd probably be apprehensive too with all the drug abuse out there. We all know what one bad apple does.

I guess I was wrong about it all. I thought a doctor/patient relationship was just as important as a teacher/parent relationship. I thought it took both of you working together. I feel like I have been dumped like the kid who the system let slipped through the cracks because they were dyslexic.

I feel like a hypochondriac idiot for bothering my doctor about all these tidbits of information going on with what he has been treating me for all these years.

Thanks for letting me vent even if nobody reads this.


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Old 09-07-2005, 01:14 PM   #2
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Re: Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

I honestly think you may be over analyzing this. I think you are thinking about it too much. You are talking as tho benzos are crack. Do you have any idea how many ppl take benzos everyday? I have had a Rx for ativn for 8 years. My doctor never even blinked. Of course, I have never abused them. I will go months without taking them, and then have to take them everyday for months.

There is something I have been realizing in the past couple weeks. I really do not want you to take this the wrong way. But many of us anxiety sufferers are pretty self involved. We are so overly focused on ourselves. Our bodies, our reactions, our feelings. We pay such close vigilant attention to ourselves that it is possible we may miss the feelings, reactions, and intntions of others. Maybe at some point in our lives we were not attended to properly. Maybe some of us were never parented and cared for in a way we needed. So we over compensate now. I dont know, just a thought.

I am thinking that your Dr is doing what he feels is best. He knows that he is not capable of helping you with your disorder. That is simply not his field. I think it would have been irresponsible for him NOT to suggest therapy. Him not returning your call, I wonder how long you have been waiting. Doctors are so very busy. I am sure he wants you to be well. But you have to understand that there are many other patients out there. If you want to continue taking a benzo, then the appropriate thing to do would be to make an appt with a psychiatrist who can continue to prescribe these drugs if he deems necessary. My phsychiatrist think benzos are very safe and very helpful. I am sure many others Docs in his field share his view.

I know you are sick of this. And I know you are trying. You need to continue to be proactive. You are not a victim. You do have options.

Take care.

Old 09-07-2005, 01:27 PM   #3
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anxietysucks HB User
Re: Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

Thanks Cheers - I think you are right. I think I am over analysing this. You are also right about him caring about me. After all, he has been there for the past 3 years. Maybe he is concerned that its beyond his scope now and maybe someone more concentrated in this field needs to intervene and offer more help in addition to the meds. It has been since last Thursday when I called. I think I'm just getting tired right now. I just want to have a day that's normal like I used to feel. Nothing was ever perfect. I just dealt with it and moved on without experiencing this anxiety.

Thank you for replying. You helped calm me down and put it into perspective. I'm breathing normal again. I would drive myself totally insane if I did nothing but try to figure out why this happened and how to fix it. I just go day by day and turn to this board.

You haven't offended me in any way. I truly appreciate your reply.

Old 09-07-2005, 01:32 PM   #4
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mjewell HB Usermjewell HB Usermjewell HB Usermjewell HB User
Re: Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

Hi anxietysucks -

You already know I am going through the same thing with my doctor. i have just come to the conclusion that he does not fully understand what I am going through. How could he? he is a general practitioner who deals mostly with sore throats and pee samples, and he has never suffered from any anxiety disorder. I think the best thing for people like us to do is see a psychiatrist. I agree with Cheers that a psychiatrist and not a psychologist or counselor is the way to go, if you have that choice. Not only can the psychiatrist prescribe meds, but they have that much more education in a doctorate level degree.

Hang in there, I know what you are going through. I'm finally feeling better today, I know it won't last forever, but I am grateful for the good days. You will pull out of it too.

Old 09-07-2005, 01:37 PM   #5
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Re: Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

I just wanted to make something clear...I think that a psychiatrist AND a therapist is what is best. Phsychatrist primarily prescribe meds..rarely do they do the counsling themselves, and if they do it would be outragelously expensive. Usually you will see a psychiatrist once a month or so for med checks (after an initial longer visit). A therapist you would see more regularly for actual therapy whether it be CBT, talk, etc...

For me, I see a psychiatrist once a month for meds, a therapist 3-4 times a month for talk therapy, and I do CBT on my own.

Also..remember that it was a long weekend. He likely was out Fri-Tue. And he probably has a million msgs to respond to. Dont wait for him to respond tho..just tread ahead and set your own path.

Old 09-08-2005, 04:51 AM   #6
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Re: Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

Cheers- I was thinking about you last night and this post because at the time I wrote it I was upset.

The one point I was trying to make and didn't I don't believe, is that when your GP no longer feels he/she can help you with the meds and refers you to psychiatric help, they have no name to refer you to. Unlike when you go to see them for a ear problem and they give you a referral to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist.

So I spent my day at work making phone calls trying to find a psychiatrist who could see me after 4:00 or on Saturdays. My employer isn't very "family friendly" when it comes to taking time off for medical appointments anyway, and this being a constant appointment, I'd fear losing my job. Anyway, I did luck into a psychoanalysts who when I explained my working conditions, did offer to see me at 5:00.

My point I was trying to make is that when your GP has been seeing you and suddenly decides its more they can take on, there is a fear of some sorts of taking on a new patient that will more than likely be requesting a benzo. When you refer to crack and I referred to criminal, I was meaning how doctors are so afraid to prescribe benzos because of drug seekers who can and will come up with any excuse to get their meds.

I wasn't meaning to come off as "woe is me".....I just kinda feel like I was thrown to the wolves.

Old 09-08-2005, 10:11 AM   #7
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Re: Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

My sister saw a psychotherapist who would call her PCP (GP) and talk about her progress and recommendations for medications. If the therapist suggested a med, the doctor would call in the prescription. The problem is, if you are taking too many benzo's, the doctor is liable. He is probably too busy to keep track of your problem and wants a qualified person to step in to help. I can understand how you would feel hurt, or insulted, but I think you would really benefit from seeing both your doctor and a therapist. If you can get an appointment with a psychiatrist, that would be the very best way to go. I have a good friend that is a psychotherapist and she always says, that PCP's have no business treating anxiety/depression illnesses. I hope you feel better soon.

Last edited by SRMom; 09-08-2005 at 10:17 AM.

Old 09-08-2005, 10:54 AM   #8
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kasmpow HB User
Re: Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

My MD did the same thing to me, It was like he was annoyed by my anxiety I asked him to give me something for it and he just said see a psychiartist and did not to hear about my anxiety anymore. I still have to find a doctor that won't be so heartless about anxiety.

Old 09-08-2005, 10:38 PM   #9
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WannaBeFreeToRoam HB UserWannaBeFreeToRoam HB UserWannaBeFreeToRoam HB User
Re: Doctor/Patient Relationship - or is there really one?

Hi anxietysucks,

My doctor (family) used to give me valium. Then I was on it for about 2 yrs. He did stop giving it me a few times, but, when I went to see him and explained things, he almost always gave me enuf for 2 x week. Once per day. At the time, this was mostly all I really needed, unless a tremendous event came up! He tried to get me to go to a psychiatrist, but my insurance will not pay for it, at all. I even, called and asked them. They said you basically have to be crazy and in that type of hospital to get any $ out of them.

Then he decided to give me Lexapro. Which is working well, at this time. He knows I cannot see the psychiatrist because of $. So, he is sticking his neck out and prescribing this for me! Drs. (gp) in Texas are watched rather closely, if they prescribe to much of an addictive medicine. Or too much addictive medicines to all their patients. They have to be very careful!

Just wanted you to know the drs. side of it, at least in Texas!

Hope you get some help. I see that you already made an appt. Good for you!


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