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Old 09-13-2005, 08:20 AM   #1
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Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

What's wrong with me? I've been reading this board for a couple of weeks, and it seems like most people just have random attacks. I used to for the first 2 1/2 years. Now I swear I have them all day long. Like today. I'm sitting here at my desk unable to do anything productive because I've had butterflies constantly since I got here this morning. AND.......I've already had 3 Xanax .5's. Why??? Nothing horrible is going on in my life. What the heck? Have I built up a tolerance to my medication and it just no longer works? This is the same dose I've been on all 3 years. I'm really starting to panic. My GP called this morning and said they made me an appointment with a psych. he has recommended, but that appointment isn't until Oct. 5th. Luckily I made an appointment on my own tonight with a psych., but I don't think this psych. does it with medication. Just CBT. I'm out of my Xanax now. Can I talk myself through these attacks for the next 3 weeks if this psych. tonight doesn't do meds? I just pray I can do my job until then, let alone taking care of business at home.

I'm freaking out now, a/k/a panic attack. I have to end this to stop and breathe. Mellow......just mellow...............

 
Old 09-13-2005, 08:31 AM   #2
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

anxietysucks, I have constant anxiety sometimes but it usually only lasts a week or so, then I'm back to once a day or so. This week I have been feeling much better, but last week and the week before I was like you, constantly nervous to the point I was sick, i couldn't eat or anything. I was also taking 2 or 3 Xanax a day and sometimes even the first two didn't work, that scared me. Now that I am back in a somewhat calm period I have cut back on Xanax and one does the trick again.

Is there something in particular that makes you nervous? For example, for me it is totaly my job...other things make me nervous too, but day to day it is having to go to work. During my most anxious times, I always just wish i could call in sick for a couple weeks and stay home, then I think my anxiety would disappear. Does work make you anxious? Or something at home? If you don't know maybe this is something the psych can help you figure out tonight.

 
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Old 09-13-2005, 08:38 AM   #3
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

Anxietysucks,
I know exactly how you feel. i have had the same problem for about 3 weeks straight now. it got so bad i saw a dr. and got on lexapro. only problem is it made me more anxious off the get go. hopefully it gets better. it has been so bad i havent been thinking straight. a new life and opportunity on the west coast and all i can think about is surviving to the next hour when i should be enjoying myself. sleep isnt any good either. i get a few hours if i am lucky....i think this adds to my anxiety. i sit at my desk at work surfing for help or just doing mundane tasks to pass the time. i feel like i am going to implode. it has been so consuming that i cant even pay my bills or chores and my wife is ready to commit me! unfortunately i havent found a sure shot way to deal with it yet, however, if you can find the time or energy to do some type of exercise...i found it can help. Good luck and if you find anything that works please let me know!

 
Old 09-13-2005, 08:46 AM   #4
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

Mjewell,
My anxiety is directly related to my job too. i changed my career and my entire life and am now afraid i made a huge mistake. i dread going in and Sundays seem to be the worst day of week because i obsess over going in. have you found anything(particular type of therapy or else) that works?

 
Old 09-13-2005, 08:51 AM   #5
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

I too know how you feel, but i only started taking meds yesterday, so i cant say to much on what works and what doesn't, i know that if i start having an attack i need to defer my brain to some thing else although that has only helped today!!!
I know i feel like i'm not me anymore and the things i used to love about life now make me sick with fear, and i know how it is when it gets to a point where you dont pay the bills!! thats why now i am not gonna get that low this time.
Just know that you are not alone and there are people around you to support you through this.
Hope you feeling better!!

 
Old 09-13-2005, 09:37 AM   #6
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

Thanks everybody. Mjewel - mine seems to be worse at work as well. I've always been the problem solver and the person everybody at work (and home) expected and expects to make everything right. I know one of your symptoms is throwing up or fear of. I'm finding I'm getting that way too. Why? I don't know. I don't know what is wrong other than something is seriously misfiring in my brain or some valve has opened that needs to be shut. Days like today when I sit here being unproductive, knowing that I am creating more havoc by having to play "catch-up", I'm actually detached from it all right now. Do I like my job? No, not really. But then again, alot of others don't either and they don't have anxiety over it. I work here because I get paid well. Other than that, I hate it. Very, very hectic schedule. I could quit, but we all know that the grass may not be greener on the other side. I don't feel sorry for myself. I have no other health complaints. Skeletons - yeah I have them but they don't bother me so I don't see the need to bring them up during CBT. A journal, I try but usually don't have the time. Control freak? Well, I wouldn't call myself a control freak because I wish people would share in the control. I don't want it all. They just won't do their part so it falls in my lap. Take time off from work? They rely on me so much, they freak out if I take a couple of vacation days in a row. Not that I'm not replaceable. I just don't know what's going on.

I've heard so many say medication is not the solution. It's a bandaid. Well, what if its not? What's wrong with taking medication? Why does alot of the medical community insists that you try to talk yourself out of it? Would they expect a diabetic to do the same? I get so many conflicting sides of this, I swear I'm starting to think I'm going insane. Well, we'll see how this appointment goes tonight. If its all about talk and they have cut me cold turkey on my Xanax, I just don't know what I'll do. Oh wait - yes I do. I'll panic of course!

 
Old 09-13-2005, 09:38 AM   #7
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

Yup. Have anxiety all day, every day. Not even worried about anything right now, and yet, my hands/legs are still shaking...
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Old 09-13-2005, 09:47 AM   #8
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ploch
Mjewell,
My anxiety is directly related to my job too. i changed my career and my entire life and am now afraid i made a huge mistake. i dread going in and Sundays seem to be the worst day of week because i obsess over going in. have you found anything(particular type of therapy or else) that works?
Hi ploch! Do you think your anxiety right now is just because you have made such a huge change and your job is still so new? I felt the exact same way you do. I have been at this job about 7 months now but I strongly regretted taking it up until about a month ago - I hated my old job even more, so I jumped right on this one without thinking it through. Now that I am starting to get used to my role here it is easier to deal with. I never thought it would take 7 months, and I still am not fully there. Like you, i also didn't do anything at work for about 4 months, that is except post on these boards all day long. I just did the minimum to get by. Now that I have been here a while things are picking up and I am too busy to goof off. Even though I still don't love this job by any means, at least I am too busy to sit around and think about it.

Don't despair, the first few months of a job are always rough no matter what. Once you start getting into the swing of things I'm sure it will improve a lot.

As far as making it better in the meantime, I don't have a lot of great advice there. I too hate Sunday nights. For me it helps to go home at lunch and relax, or if the weather is nice take a walk at lunch alone, or read a good book. I also have to have little rituals to make my day more enjoyable, i.e. I need things to look forward to, like getting a latte in the morning, or making myself a new CD to listen to at work, things like that.

I think it is great you changed your entire career. I am at that point in my life too but I am too scared to do it - i don't even know how to go about doing it!! So you are very brave for that, and in the end I'm sure it will be worth it.

 
Old 09-13-2005, 11:20 AM   #9
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

Mjewel,
thanks for the advice and words of wisdom. i have been at my new job exactly 6 months today and it seems to be getting worse every day for me. it's not that i am not busy(or could be)....it's the actual work. i am a trained engineer who in some respects got burned out after 13 years with the same company in NJ. Now i work for a jeans company in CA and the work is not interesting to me at all. same thing every single day. and it is not technical at all. to make matters worse i work for family and have been very very homesick lately. i miss all my friends and family in NJ. i sure hope things make a turn for the better real soon....otherwise i think i am going to make plans to go back home. the stress and anxiety have just been so bad that i cant think to see the future clearly. should i go...should i stay...i dont know.

anxietysucks,
your appointment should help you. i know it helps when i go. i agree with you about medication too. for me there is no way to talk or will myself out of anxiety. Meds help and are necessary in alot of cases. Chemical imbalances suck and so does anxiety!

 
Old 09-13-2005, 05:58 PM   #10
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

When I was a teenager, my boyfriend's nickname for me was "Miss Muffet," as in, the one who was scared away because a spider sat down beside her.

When I was in my 20's, an acquaintance said to me, "You're so filled with fear that it makes me want to just shake you!" Perhaps the shaking part was an expression used in her childhood home; she didn't attempt to do so.

About 5 years later, a close neighbor told me that if I didn't stop worrying, I would get an ulcer.

You get the picture.
But I didn't.
Because the way I felt was the way I had always felt.

Then I took Lexapro. Tremendous relief, but really bad side effects, like involuntarily clenching muscles (seems logical that someone who over-reacts to life would over-react to pharmaceuticals).

I'm on quite the coctail now, most of which does nothing for my presenting symptoms.
Except the anti-anxiety med.
I'm taking 0.5mg of Risperdal twice daily.
It's side effect is weight gain, and, fortunately, that's one area I can manage.
For a lot of reasons, it might not work for everyone, maybe not for most.
But it gives some hope of a cure; maybe there is something for my other uncontrollable and uncomfortable ways of being (e.g.: ADD, OCD, Depression).

Because the anxiety, at least, seems under control -- so why not other life-long problems?

I no longer wake up every morning with a feeling of dread that grabs my stomach and lungs.

I can't remember the last time I gasped at some innocent sound.

And even when my boss is letting me know all my perceived short-comings, the physical reaction is pretty much surpressed, so at least I'm not reacting to the reaction.

 
Old 09-14-2005, 08:23 AM   #11
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

Ploch,

I definately agree with you about the excercise thing...... I was really in despertate shape a lil while back and I believe thats what helped me the most. Its not immediate... it took about 2 weeks for me to start feeling better, and all the while I was doing the excercise I felt terrible and wanted to just give up.

I ride the statiojnary bike for about 20-25 minutes about 4 days a week........ It is difficult at first, but if you can do it routinely, then I am positive it will help.

 
Old 09-14-2005, 09:03 AM   #12
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

Quote:
Originally Posted by anxietysucks
Thanks everybody. Mjewel - mine seems to be worse at work as well. I've always been the problem solver and the person everybody at work (and home) expected and expects to make everything right. I know one of your symptoms is throwing up or fear of. I'm finding I'm getting that way too. Why? I don't know. I don't know what is wrong other than something is seriously misfiring in my brain or some valve has opened that needs to be shut. Days like today when I sit here being unproductive, knowing that I am creating more havoc by having to play "catch-up", I'm actually detached from it all right now. Do I like my job? No, not really. But then again, alot of others don't either and they don't have anxiety over it. I work here because I get paid well. Other than that, I hate it. Very, very hectic schedule. I could quit, but we all know that the grass may not be greener on the other side. I don't feel sorry for myself. I have no other health complaints. Skeletons - yeah I have them but they don't bother me so I don't see the need to bring them up during CBT. A journal, I try but usually don't have the time. Control freak? Well, I wouldn't call myself a control freak because I wish people would share in the control. I don't want it all. They just won't do their part so it falls in my lap. Take time off from work? They rely on me so much, they freak out if I take a couple of vacation days in a row. Not that I'm not replaceable. I just don't know what's going on.

I've heard so many say medication is not the solution. It's a bandaid. Well, what if its not? What's wrong with taking medication? Why does alot of the medical community insists that you try to talk yourself out of it? Would they expect a diabetic to do the same? I get so many conflicting sides of this, I swear I'm starting to think I'm going insane. Well, we'll see how this appointment goes tonight. If its all about talk and they have cut me cold turkey on my Xanax, I just don't know what I'll do. Oh wait - yes I do. I'll panic of course!
I agree that medication is not a solution, because it has never cured anyone long-term i don't think, but I definitely am not against it. Hell, meds are the only thing that has kep me from becoming a hermit. My life would be an absolute mess if it wasn't for meds. But, I do think it is worth out while to get therapy if we can while taking the meds to try and get our head fixed so we don't have to be on meds forever. Of course that won't work until you are truly ready to change. For the last 3 years I have been so comfortable with the meds that I didn't really want to try, but now I am ready. So don't worry about what others say. That is the problem with these boards, even though they are wonderful, they make you second guess everything. Do what's right for you. Same with drs. If they aren't out for you ditch em and find another.

 
Old 09-14-2005, 09:11 AM   #13
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Re: Doesn't Anybody Out There Experience PERSISTENT Anxiety?

[QUOTE=Ploch]Mjewel,
thanks for the advice and words of wisdom. i have been at my new job exactly 6 months today and it seems to be getting worse every day for me. it's not that i am not busy(or could be)....it's the actual work. i am a trained engineer who in some respects got burned out after 13 years with the same company in NJ. Now i work for a jeans company in CA and the work is not interesting to me at all. same thing every single day. and it is not technical at all. to make matters worse i work for family and have been very very homesick lately. i miss all my friends and family in NJ. i sure hope things make a turn for the better real soon....otherwise i think i am going to make plans to go back home. the stress and anxiety have just been so bad that i cant think to see the future clearly. should i go...should i stay...i dont know.

ploch, if things don't improve for you after a month or two maybe you could look for another job where you are at. Or if not then move back. It's your life, you do what makes you happy. Just remember you never HAVE to do anything, it is a free country and you answer to no one but yourself (of course I don't mean go break the law or anything, but you know what I mean For the longes time I felt like I was trapped, had to work, had to do this, had to do that, then i realized you know what? This is MY life and life is too short to be miserable. If it doesn't feel rigth change it. It might be rough for a while, but somehow we always get through.

 
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