i cant stand this :( - Anxiety Message Board

mishkaaa · 10-04-2005, 07:46 AM

i've had such a horrible past few days.
my anxiety has driven me into a depression i think.
i am seeing a psych, but i just want to mention what i've been worrying about lately.

i guess you could say my main worry is going crazy or something.
sometimes i think about scary movies i've seen, and what could drive a person to do the things they do.
all day yesterday, all i could think about was the movie "the amityville horror", the newer recent one that came out earlier this year. i saw it in april, which is why i don't understand why this was even a thought in my mind.
i was bothered by the fact that the man killed his whole family. i wondered what could possibly drive a person to do that? were they so depressed that that's just what happened?
and i worried what would happen if i was ever in such a drive. i would NEVER EVER EVER kill my family! it's an absurd thought, which is why it bothers me why i'm even thinking of that!!! (i was later told that the guy killed his family because he was on heroin

) i thougt of it all day at school and i felt liek crap all day, and when i saw my parents when i got home from school i almost had like a sick feeling in my stomach, just because of what i had thought of all day.

anyone ever have a similar experience?

edit: i should probably mention that i am going through A LOT of stress. almost every day i am faced with new and bad news about my aunt who has cancer (within the past 2 weeks ive learned she has ovarian, uterine, bone, lung, liver, and brain cancer), i stopped talking to one of my best friends, a lot has changed in my life, and i'm not one to exactly like change.

mishkaaa · 10-04-2005, 09:13 AM

just bumping up

layla= · 10-04-2005, 09:34 AM

we all have bad thoughts thats one of the curses of anxiety and depression, i visualise things which can be really scary. Just know that the way you think is just the way you are, as you say you know you will never do anything like it you just think them.
Don't give yourself a hard time over it.
I used to watch wes craven films thinking he was some proper sick person, films are just peoples imagination running wild, a bit like ours with our bad thoughts.

Coco11 · 10-04-2005, 09:45 AM

Why don't you want to tell your pysch about what you've ben worrying about, that exactly what s/he is they for.
You must tell people how you are feeling esp let the ones that are close to you know something or they won't be able to help you & won't be there for you because they won't realise they need to be.

mishkaaa · 10-04-2005, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coco11

Why don't you want to tell your pysch about what you've ben worrying about, that exactly what s/he is they for.
You must tell people how you are feeling esp let the ones that are close to you know something or they won't be able to help you & won't be there for you because they won't realise they need to be.

i definitely tell people close to me, especially my boyfriend.
he is very supportive and is always there for me.
i DO want to tell my pysch, this is just something that came upon me this week and i haven't seen her yet this week. i see her tomorrow and i will definitely be talkign with her about it