Social Anxiety --> Alcohol Abuse <>Support PLEASE! :( - Anxiety Message Board

becksA · 12-25-2005, 09:53 AM

I have been diagnosed with severe social anxiety disorder. To make things ten times worse, I've been put in the worst possible situation.

2 years ago,I moved to Detroit with my family (NO PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION) and do not know anybody, and I've been getting myself into serious trouble. I have gotten 2 DUI's since I moved here. Until these situations, I've never been arrested for anything.

I am a person that craves close friendships, I am very emotional by nature and need that shoulder or however you want to express it.

Needless to say, I moved here, I'm 23 and do not know a soul. Everybody has their own lifelong friends and I cannot break through to make close friends because of my social anxiety. So far my best opportunities have been going to the bar because obviously the alcohol helps me to talk to people, I make friendships, the occasional relationships, but they're never that meaningful. In normal daytime "sober" coffee shops, or bookstores situations, I am wayyyy too shy/anxious to pick up conversations and make friends.

Can anybody somewhat relate to my problem? Please I'd really like some ideas or comments.

Thanks

neflin · 12-26-2005, 11:52 AM

I do not know if you are a female or male. I think the hardest thing it is to do is try and make a friend. It seems like they do not want anything to do with you. I never really have had a close friend and have strived for this all my life. The bars are the worse place for meeting a friend but sometimes you do feel lost. I find myself even trying to go to a Board (not this one) to make a friend but everything you try does not seem to break the barrier. Either you are too old or too know it all or just not what they want to deal with.

The harder you try the worse you feel. After a while the resentment builds up and you kind of give up. I have always been like this. So many cliques and so many people that just do not want to let you in. People can be so cruel. I am not sure if they mean it or not. It seems like the harder I try and fit in and say the right things that the more things I say that are not right and everything goes the other way.

I guess sometimes I just give up trying to find a close friend.

Fortunately for me I am married and my husband is my closest friend whom I just adore but it sure would have been nice to have a lady friend that I could have truthfully trusted along the way. Much luck.

heyzeus · 12-26-2005, 02:08 PM

if you were diagnosd, didnt they give you any tranquilizing drugs? these helped me, although i still drink a lot.

givemeadvice · 12-27-2005, 02:33 PM

wow I do feel a little better to know that other people share the same feelings experiences when it comes to friendships. I to like the previous poaster have been threw MANY MANY friendships threwout my life i have made many friends and lost manny friends I am 24 now. I have met many people i felt that special bond with but they really arent in my life anymore. Things happen we get seperated no matter how hard of an effort the special bond/friendship dies and once again i am surounded by flaky friends who either have a crush on me or just wanna party who really dont care about me. LIke you guys i am very bitter hurt and resentful and i do think about past friends ive made and wished they were still in my life and i ask god why arent they in my life anymore. Was it something I did? It really does hurt because you get use to talking to a friend every day and get so close then all of a sudden things change they drift apart as hard as i try to keep it together it never works

Whenever i think about all the people who i thought were my special friends who made me laugh who i look foward to talking arent there in my life anymore it just makes me wanna cry. Sometimes I do cry in my dreams.

givemeadvice · 12-27-2005, 02:44 PM

I have come to the conclusion that if dispite numerous attempts by us to save the bond/friendship they still make no effort it is time to move on instead of being humiliated. It has been so so hard to do this but now when i lose a friend i give it one chance to try and save it if that fails then i just back off out of their life.