Hello everyone. I am officially calling myself a nutjob. I have suffered w/ bipolar and anxiety/panic attacks for years but this just takes the cake! I have actually been so scared and paranoid that I can no longer sleep at night. I am actually scared to death of ghosts in my house. I told you it was crazy! But I am serious. I force myself to stay up as long as possible ou of fear that a ghost will come near me in the night. We had paranormal investigators in my home a few months ago and they confirmed a haunting after many nights and days of activity and "orbs" in our house & family pictures. My family just had enough of the banging and pounding. We had candles light themselves, applicances turn on and off, silverware was bent and twisted, voices, and sometimes just the odd sensation of a strong presence in the room. Every once in a great while we would see a shadow of a man in the corner of our eye. I thought that if the investigators confirmed it and at least educated me that these ghosts are of no harm then I would not be afraid anymore. They brought a psychic with them to communicate and she said that the ghost was not negative....just sad. I don't care...I am scared to death and it is interrupting my life. My having anxiety and panic disorder only makes it worse as I am prone to paranoia. What can I do?? I am so sleep deprived.
I really want to move very badly. Finances at the moment won't allow it. This house is rent free (I wonder why!!) The house is an old 2-story victorian built in the early 1800's and has alot of history. It didn't surprise me that it was haunted...I just didn't realize that it would affect me so much and my mental wellbeing. I am constantly imagining (or not?) that I hear things, see things and I feel like a total psycho. I wish I could move and it would all go away. I am seriously considering just taking some Tylenol PM or Benedryl to sleep tonight.
Gidget- The fact that you say that you're paranoid and very anxious while being bipolar makes me think that the anxiety may be a result of the manic-depression. Are you currently taking medications? If so, then you probably DO have a comorbid anxiety disorder, which isn't uncommon with bipolar disorder, but if you're not, the anxiety could be a symptom of mania or a mixed episode. Oh, and you're NOT crazy! Believe me, if you're crazy, then I sure as hell am! lol! My diagnoses include: severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (pure obsessional type), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, severe panic attacks due to specific phobias and my anxiety disorders, cyclothymia, and a mild case of Asperger's. Good luck and God bless!
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
You could try getting someone to come in and "clear" the house of the ghost. That might help make you feel better. A friend of mine had to do that. They'd had weird stuff happen of the same sort that you've mentioned, and it stopped afterward. Their poor cat, who'd been a basket case since they'd moved in, also immediately got better and happier.
I am not currently on medication. I want to be but I have no health insurance and do not qualify for state assistance either. We have some programs here in Topeka that I am going to call and see if I can get in. It is a counseling service for low income and they also have their own prescription programs that I am going to see if I can afford or qualify for. My husband has a good job but they do not offer insurance until he has been there 1 year. My depression has been so terrible that I have not worked for about 1 month now. I am looking for something part time though. I think it may help me take my mind off things. I did not sleep again last night and I am just exhausted. My body has this weird feeling as if I drank a bottle of NyQuil but I didn't. I still managed to print up some resumes and cover letters today so I guess it's not a total loss. I still have to tackle the mess in my bedroom ans kitchen before my hubby gets home. I will just have to conjure up the energy. I really hate being bipolar. I am sick of this.