I have been seeing a counselor for the last few months and reading self help books. I am posting because I was doing better for the last two months and then I see Dana Reeve died from lung cancer and I am now convinced I have it too. I know in my heart this is irrational but I can not talk myself out of it. I have been dealing with health anxiety since I had my second child 16 months ago. I have thought I have every disease known to mankind even though I am only 30, a nonsmoker and no family history of anything. I have had so many tests done,including a chest xray in Nov. I have a total clean bill of health but I can not let it go that maybe the dr missed something,even though I have seen about 10 of them in tha lest year and a half. I am sorry to tamble but my husband and family no longer want to deal with me and I have no one left to talk to. My couselor cant see me til tomorrow.
I sit here crying because I just want to enjoy my life,my wonderful kids and be happy for God's sake. Why do I continue to have these episodes? I was fine until I saw that news. A young woman,healthy and now she's gone.
Does anyone else suffer with this? Thanks for letting me vent.
The following user gives a hug of support to lmtickell: txravman (03-13-2011)
Yep! I always think im dying too.. Its irrational though. You have to try and put it out of your mind. Try to do stuff with your kids and husband. Keep your mind busy with a hobby. Thats what I do and it helps alot. As soon as I start to think about a new disease that I may have I say thats crazy and go on with something else. I watched my father die of cancer and ever since then I feel as if im destined. But hey If i die then I die. Its a part of life. Its everyones destiny. So relax and try to enjoy your ride. You never know what tomorrow brings so enjoy the moment!!
I feel so bad when I hear someone else going through this mental h*ll! That is exactly what it is! Every time I get something I think "This is it! All those other times were just nonsense and now it's the real thing!" (the real thing meaning cancer) I go through this stuff for days or months, sometimes I get a brief reprieve where I'll actually be "ME!" again, then it'll hit again and I just worry and obsess and I can't stop - just like you I know it is irrational but it just gnaws at me day and night. And like the other poster says, I try to put it out of my mind, but I feel like there's a dark cloud with a lead weight around me when I get like that, and Iíll look at things and think, "Just think, life is going on as usual and here I am with possible cancer" The older I get the worse I get because the odds just keep increasing that one of these days it WILL be cancer. Itís awful and people like me will totally understand what you are going through! No one wants to deal with me either when I'm like that - so come to the boards, we are all ready to help and share!
All I can say is that you feel like so, so many others. I have the same health issues and it all started when I had an allergic reaction to a banana and almost died. I was shown how fragile life really was then.
Then during my two pregnancies they were high risk (gestational diabetes) and the second was rough, I could have died. Then to top it all off I ended up with high blood pressure AFTER my second child was born. That and the fact that I am a mom and responsible for my children (and MUST be here to take care of them for always) set me over the top.
Then all these weird conditions kept creaping up. Rapid heart, muscle aches & twiches, chest/chin pain, hair loss, chin hair, panic/anxitety attacks (to name a few only!).....one after the other and this doesn't help with my already fragile mind.
I truly believe that as a woman, your hormones and life experiences combined with the responsibility of having children can wreack havoc on your body and emotions.
All I can say is get all the medical tests done and BELIEVE what the doctors say. Try to think positive and do good things for your body and mind. You have to get control and not let this way of thinking get the best of you. You will continue to have bad days, but if you are persistant, eventually your positive way of thinking will prevail.
Another thing...if you are perimenopausal (10-15 years before menopuase) you can and will be feeling weird things happeneing because of hormonal lows and highs...this is normal. Check each new symptom out with your doctor and if there is nothing medically worng...MOVE ON. Enjoy your life. Because it is truly precious and a gift. Just look at your child and you will see how much.
Mine stems from something happening to me too almost 13 years ago I fainted or had a seizure or whatever the heck it was which has happened about 4 more times during the last 13 yrs anyway its a terrible terrible feeling when I come to conciousness again I am a wreck with all these nasty symptoms and feelings that I think im gonna die like maybe next time it happens will be the last time.Also when I get physical symptoms,which are usualy stress and anxiety,I always think ...oh God I must have this (insert some horrible illness) and even if my doctor checks me and says "no its anxiety and stress" I still sometimes do not believe him and I do the whole search the internet deal which as you know can be very time comsuming I will spend hours days at a time doing this its like I become obsessed and the whole time I cannot relax and feel anxious and on edge.Alot of anxiety sufferers deal with this I was so glad when I found this board because before then I thought I was just crazy
Are you on any medication for your anxiety? I have been dealing w/ depression and anxiety for about 18 years. My family has a history of anxiety and depression so when it started to happen to me I was not going to let it happen. I kept telling myself I'm stronger than that, but I continued to get worse. I had gone through 3 miscarriages and my husband is a type 1 diabetic. I felt like I was going to have to be put away. When I was sitting in a dark room one day thinking about cutting my skin off because it hurt so bad to have it touched I finally went to the Dr and got meds. They really helped. Over the years I have had to switch out meds and have tried to get off them. I always feel better on my meds. I still have days that are sad, but they are normal now. Every one has bad days, but if I just wait a day or 2 things are always much better. Sometimes too if you look at what you have, like your kids, husband, your current health you are a very blessed person.
I have been seeing the couselor since Nov. We talked about meds but my husband and I want to try to have one more baby in the next year and I thought it would not be good to get on something for a few months and then go off cold turkey for pregnancy. I do know that after we have one more that if the anxiety continues I will try meds.
I am just so disheartened because I was doing really well for almost two months. It felt as if someone just turned off a switch and I was back to being my happy,normal self and everyone noticed it. I felt horrible last week when my mom said I sounded so happy again, of course she said this the day after news reports of young women getting lung cancer and I had started panicking again.
I made the all too common mistake of internet searching a certain disease over the last week and I completely freaked myself out.
I hate to think so many people suffer with this. I think a large part is how media portrays news and the internet.
I am really hoping I get back to my normal self without too much help. I really wanted to be able to calm myself down and pick myself back up without help but I guess I am not there yet.
I am reading many of the posts in this section and have been for some time. I have learned so many tricks that do help so I am thankful to all of you for your responses and help. I get to see my therapist Saturday so hopefully I will feel better after that visit.