hello im new and would like some support - Anxiety Message Board

brionylou · 03-27-2006, 11:45 AM

hello everyone, my name is sarah and i live in england.
im 22 years old and been living with anxiety and having panic attacks since i was 18. and i still havent got a handle on either anxiety or panic attacks and they both are still really scaring me.

the thing is, i feel stuck in a rut, i do not work or feel able to, coz of anxiety and that makes me feel worse about myself. i feel i should be doing things and then when i cant, i feel terrible, because im letting myself and my daughter and now my boyfriend down too!
i have a new boyfriend (3 months) and a year old daughter which should be bringing me so much joy, because things have never been as good for me. but i feel just terrible.

im picking on things that i think my boyfs doing wrong, but then when i think to myself later on, i feel awful coz i realise im just totally over reacting because im feeling almost constantly anxious (except for that hour that im laid in bed with him on a night, which is when i feel peaceful, until my muscles relax and ache and then i feel ill again!).
ive been reading some of the earlier posts and i cried when i read a guy felt his eyes were not working as fast as his head, coz i feel like this constantly, and was really worried that i may have things wrong with my eyes (because i feel dizzy and everything too).

i love it and feel elated, over the moon, fantastic, when every now and again something reminds me that this is how you feel when you are anxious.it is normal, and im not dying. its like i have to be topped up with good information. and then i feel silly for thinking there was something wrong with me. its like i forget muscles aching and lightheadedness is anxiety and think i have bloodclots tumours etc. im a hypocondriac anyway, so the thread i read about the hypo guy worrying even more about some helpful advice he was given made me smile, coz im exactly the same.
does anyone feel the same or does anyone have any good advice?

im sorry its so long, im just feeling bad this month and any support would be welcome as i dont really like talking to ppl in detail about it coz they dont really understand.

thankyou to any one who replies, i really appreciate it.

sarahxxx

zosolizard · 03-27-2006, 12:01 PM

Hi Sarah,
Welcome, glad you found this board. It's really helpful when you find other people who can understand what you are going through.

I get a lot of hypochondria too - and it's just awful.

Have you talked to a doctor about trying any medications ? Just wondering, since you didn't mention that. Some people here report that they are very helpful.

I know that it stinks, and it's so unfair that we have to feel like this.

My first anxiety issues showed up when I was about your age - and then they went away for quite a long time. Then they creeped back into my life last year. It's a strange illness, indeed.

We can just do our best to seek out things that can help (counseling, books, medications, support at places like this......). People who do not suffer from this have a hard time understanding what it is like!!

Anyway - just wanted to welcome you & let you know that you are not alone.

Take care & hugs to ya!

hry33 · 03-27-2006, 12:09 PM

welcome
anxiety can be mostly a bad habit, learn new ways of relaxing and calming yourself, stay with us

brionylou · 03-27-2006, 12:35 PM

thank you both. and yes a therepist told me in december that although i have no actual reason to feel anxious anymore ( i left my abusive expartner last year) i had just got into the habit of bad ritual and bad thought patterns, and i needed to change the way i thought about feeling ill.

i have tried 4 different anti depressants and always have betablockers in the house. which i dont like taking coz i think of side effects.

i had to stop taking paroxitine when i became pregnant, and have not returned to take AD since. i keep on thinking i may try again but then htink that they may do more harm than good, but then maybe they may help alot?

sarah xx

zosolizard · 03-27-2006, 12:55 PM

Hi Sarah,

I am one of those people that would take just about anything if it would help me feel normal again (without icky side effects, of course!)

I did try a couple of SSRI's - didn't care much for how I felt, but I am still working with my doctor to try other things.

I've got BetaBlockers but so far have been afraid to take them.

One thing that helps get rid of my anxious feeling is Xanax - but I am a bit worried about becoming "addicted" to it - so I limit myself to a certain amount. I only take it when the feeling doesn't go away after about 20 minutes or so.

Congrats on getting rid of the abusive guy - that is a great step & shows that you are a stronger person that you were before.

Keep making positive changes in your life & do what you can to feel better!