Have lost four jobs in two months due to panic/anxiety..hopeless and unsure of future
I am not doing very well. I had a panic/anxiety attack at work today and had to leave. This is the fourth job that I have had in a few months, where I have had panic and anxiety attacks during my training period and have had to quit or tell them I am not feeling well and leave - unable to go back. I just feel overwhelmed with so much involved in the training (for customer service), and then the anxiety just gets me to the point where I fall apart after only a week on the job. I feel in the past year, my (mental) health has become worse. I am starting to wonder, if I will ever be okay to work, and that if not, I may have to try to file SS disability. I have heard from several people, that they have a one year long back docket and it can take forever to get on disability, and many times they reject it...then people have to hire attorneys and go to court, and it can be a real headache. It's a shame, because we have already paid for it for social security taken out of our paychecks.
I just can't seem to cope any more with new jobs and the several weeks of training process, I tell myself to take it one day at a time, that everyone goes through anxiety and stress during new jobs..but I can't seem to make it, and I end up having a really bad anxiety attack, severe enough where I can barely breath and my chest is burning and very tight, as many of you can probably relate.
I spoke to my friend this afternoon and told her I was frightened..frightened about the possibility of not being able to work again due to anxiety/panic attacks. I can't even make it through the training period. I also spoke to my Dad. He is very concerned and said he would do anything he can to help me. I am scared because I have car payments, bills due..and I hate to have my Dad help me with my bills..but I also know my mental health is very poor right now. It's frustrating, because I don't have depression anymore due to being on Remeron, but I have the anxiety/panic. I am probably going to have to give in and go on the Busphar, to try to get better so that I can work again..or try to work again. The anxiety seems to get worse to the point where my chest is so tight during PMS and right before. My friend said perhaps I should try to take it easy at first and get a part time job, and see how I do on that, and then work full time, if the part time job goes okay. She said that perhaps my line of work (customer service/inside sales) is a very stressful job..one of the most stressful, and that perhaps, I need to find something not so stressful until I get better..like Pet sitting or Reception work. I have been doing customer service for the past fifteen years, and perhaps I do need to find something less demanding for awhile. Maybe it is doing me in.
I have an appointment tomorrow with the Psychiatrist, so will see what she says. Maybe I need some kind of intensive inpatient or outpatient program for anxiety/panic sufferers..only wish I could afford it. I know meds can't do it alone..but I just don't have the money or health insurance. Thanks for listening. I just feel very hopeless right now.