Has anyone ever felt that their anxiety symptoms are caused by how they are treated? My husband has been passive/aggressive for as long as I have known him. I could not take the craziness anymore and he knew it. He finally changed but now hangs on me all the time. He finally figured out that his behavior was not something I could tolerate but he has swung the other way now. He calls me six to ten times a day, tries to control everything I do, and shadows my every move. His fear, I think, is that I will leave him and that is why he behaves the way he does. I know this is his problem but it causes me great anxiety. I feel anxious whenever I am with him (which is almost every minute that I am not working). I have had to go on Xanax at a very low dosage basically because of early morning wakening. I do okay when I am busy.
I guess my question is is what can I do to not play this game? I know this is his problem more than mine yet I seem to be the one suffering all the time.
Maybe you should talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Then you wouldn't be playing a game, which is like a deception, you'd be being honest. Just tell him it would be great if he only called maybe once during the day, or only if it's important, and that you love to hear from him, but it interrupts what you are doing and causes you some stress. It sounds like he was trying to do the right thing, maybe he needs a little more guidance to be what you want. Be sure to give him credit for trying...you'll be proud of yourself if you can get what you want while being kind to him in the process.
The more I think about it, you are absolutely right. He is trying (a little too hard) and I have to talk to him to back off a little bit. It just makes me nervous to have so much attention on me. Thanks for your help!