Am i ok? - Anxiety Message Board

Worried1977 · 05-12-2006, 07:43 AM

I know not any of you can answer this and some can only try to make me feel better but i dont know whats going on with me. This all started last friday. i do scrapbooking for a living. i LOVE doing it well while i was at my work table working. i had this awful butterfly feeling all over my body. i travel on weekends so i automatically started thinking "what if i get into a car accident" so then my mind started racing about other things and for some reason i started thinking "what if someone i dated contacts me saying they had hiv"...First of all i was started on topamax 3 weeks ago for migraines. they made me tired throughout the day. well after worrying about HIV i was stupid and looked up syptoms and i noticed fatigue. which i am assuming topamax causes (i would fall asleep easily on it at night time) well then my mind raced even harder i began smoking over a pack a day and im CONSTANTLY checking my body for abnormal things. its gotten to the point where im scared for my daughter she is 9 months old and im always checking her for rashes and stuff and i found myself walking through the house ALL day taking my temperature. I have called SEVERAL drs. inquiring about certain things even my daughters DR. i even contacted 2 of my last b/f and asked if they were ok. My b/f now i have been with for 2 years and now he thinks i have messed around on him because of my obsession with being worried about hiv. my appetite has slowed down its hard to eat with this uneasy feeling. the dr took me off topamax 3 days ago and my uneasiness feeling is starting to decrease unless i think about it. its taken over my life and away from my family. i feel uncomfortable leaving the house and yesterday i took a home hiv test and am even more scared.i wont know anything until atleast monday or tuesday. i have gotten none of my work done for scrapbooking. all my orders are a week behind. i dont nkow what to do to calm my self. i go for walks sometimes and that helps but when i come back home i get worse. im sorry for this being so long but what is wrong with me. now in the mornings i have noticed loose stools after drinking coffee or soda or after smoking. just in the morning maybe one or two times. i have no fever or anything.and its not watery. but i was afraid it was diarreah. im going nuts i hope it was the topamax making me feel this way and nothing more or a illness. any ideas?

KingDobe · 05-12-2006, 08:10 AM

hello.
im sorry but as you said, i cant answer your question. although maybe i can offer some comfort by saying that i too am simmillar to you. i am CONSTANTLY worried about cancer. it what if i have cancer here, or what if i have this type of cancer. i found a lump on my adams apple yesterdayand am worried sick about it. im going to the doc's later and have it checked out. im dreading him telling me its cancer.
i hope you feel better soon. try to relax. good luck

KD

Rickysmom · 05-12-2006, 09:33 AM

You sound like a chronic obsessive worrier like me! With me, I'm constantly worried about money, even when we have plenty, and it's irrational. I have this compulsion, all day long, to look at my finances, and money is always on my mind. It's ruining my life!

And if I'm not worrying about money, I'm worrying about having enough time in the day, or what I can do for my autistic son. But, whatever the worry, it consumes me.

I just keep trying to tell myself that it's irrational, but I still worry, and I'm tense all the time. It's as if I am more comfortable being uncomfortable just because that's the way I've lived my life for so long, and change is scary! I just can't seem to relax.

But, I started new meds a couple months ago, and it's helping a little.

Maybe I need to up the dose, I don't know.