PeskyRabbit

You know, I think too much has been read into the way the doctor reacted when you didn't want your test results. I believe that if you tell a doctor you don't want to hear the results, they have to honor that regardless of what they were. I don't think the doctor is going to try to convince you to get them either way. Remember, they deal with tons of patients every day and their problems. It's difficult to impossible to tell what your results were based on the doctors reaction when you told him/her that you didn't want to hear them. They probably just noted that and moved on with their day.

You did a very courageous thing going to get that test done. Many of us fear this disease and can't bring ourselves to go and find out for sure. The fact that you were able to do that tells me you can work up the courage to get the results.

Try to think of it like this...if you have the disease, you have it either way. Not getting the results and worrying constantly won't change it. Plus, early treatment can help people manage this disease. If you don't have it, you will have spent countless days of your life worrying about something that you don't even have. Think of how good it would feel to walk out of that office not only conquering your worst fear, but knowing that you're ok and you can go back to your life not worrying about this any more.

No one can tell you for sure that you don't have it until you get the results. I think what many of us want is to know that we don't have any of the horrible diseases we worry about, but none of us want to know if we do because we feel we can't handle the truth.

Why are you convinced that you have HIV at this point? Has something happened to cause you to have concern?

Take Care,

PeskyRabbit