Okay, I went to a new psychiatrist and he prescribed three meds for.........
anxiety, depression, and depersonalization. I told him that the main problem that scares the most is the depersonalization, and asked him if anything would make this go away. I told him about how I'd smoked pot several years ago and it seemed to start several months after that, and he insisted that that had nothing to do with depersonalization/derealization, and that they're common anxiety symptoms that will go away once the depression and anxiety are fixed.
Anyway, he prescribed Cymbalta, Ativan, and Lunesta. He said that the Cymbalta will help with depression, anxiety, and depersonalization, the Ativan will help immediately with the anxiety, and the Lunesta will help me reach a deeper sleep and stay asleep longer (which he says is important if you have anxiety). I was a little nervous about starting Cymbalta, because the majority of antidepressants I've taken before have SEVERELY increased my anxiety. But he said that if I start at a low dose and take more Ativan in the beginning, the anxiety shouldn't be too bad, and it will get better as my body adjusts to the Cymbalta, and I won't need as much or any Ativan.
The doses I'm starting out at:
Cymbalta 10mg for 1 week, then 20mg for 2 weeks.
Ativan .5mg 4x a day
Lunesta 3mg at bedtime
He also gave me two sample packs of Niravam (0.25 mg), which is a benzodiazepine that rapidly dissolves under the tongue and kicks in in two minutes for emergencies (severe panic attacks).
Wish me luck! I've been feeling terrible for so long, and I really hope this works for me.