Icy

First of all it definately sounds like you have anxiety and depression(which a lot of people seems to get with anxiety).

Second it sounds like you cannot accept the anxiety attacks and truthfully that is one of the best things you can to do help eliminate them. Everyone has anxiety and it can act up when you get nervous. An example is the upset stomach you get when talking in front of a group of people. You worry about if what your saying will be correct and hope you don't mess up. Well, since anxiety 'acts up' when your nervous constantly worrying about have another attack will make things worse.

You also explained that 'did I hear that' or 'did I see that' feeling I still get that and haven't had a bad anxiety attack in many weeks now. I could never think of how to explain it but I think that is the best way. Once I think that though I fear stupid things like what if I passed out some where and stuff but I just tell myself if I passed out I don't think I'd really realize it.

Honestly you say you are petrified of getting schizophrenia but if you get it you get it you can't really change it so no reason to worry about it. If you worry about it the anxiety will become worse so in turn you will just feel worse.

Some things to cope with it -

Exercise - It releases stress which can help a lot with anxiety attacks. (Personally I think this was the most helpful thing for me)

Get out and do things - I know you will be scared of going out and doing things (I was also) but find someone that you trust, maybe your boyfriend? As you start doing things (which could be as simple as a 10 minute car ride) you will realize that as you get your mind off the anxiety it gets better.

Diet - I recommend eating smaller meals every 3 to 4 hours so your body doesn't start to feel faint from not eating in a while which can make people panic over since we are hypersensitive. Also make sure to drink half your body weight in oz. of water a day so you can avoid dehydration. (160LB person would drink 80oz of water).