Mandytigg- I know all to well how you feel. I have been suffering from anxiety since the birth of my daughter... eight years ago. Let me say this and please don't take it the wrong way, but Iam glad I am not alone.Its so hard for anybody to understand if they have'nt experienced this. I thought I had colon cancer right after I had my daughter. I know now, how stupid that
sounds!But at that time I really thought I did. After every pregnancy it continued to get worse. Ecspecially after I had a missed miscarriage. I knew I lost the baby, but know one would listen. 6 weeks and 30 lb weight loss later, after I originally complained....Guess what, I indeed did miscarry. It was horrible. But, two healthy pregos. and two healthy boys later, Its back again. I found a lump on my tongue around Thanksgiving last year. I had the biopsy and 6 days later found out it was a benign neurofibroma tumor. Weird, huh?
I wil sahre this with you all, teh morning of my biopsy I took my children to the bus stop and I had the radio on. As they were getting on the bus, they looked back and waved and the song"Angels among us" by alabama was on and I lost it right there. But, I knew right then and there I would alright.See, God does give you signs. You just have to look for them. At the same time I found a lump in my tongue, I found a lump in my neck. To make a long story short, I have been told by numerous docs. not to worry. But, the lump has gotten a tad bit bigger and hurts alot. I see a seurgeon on Tuesday.One thing I have learned through all the years of anxiety and ecspecially now is"Live and Let Go", something my mother told me a long time ago, when I first had the anxiety. Live in the moment, live for the day. Don't waste another hour worrying. It's in Gods hands. God forbid if there is something really wrong with me, and I hope there is'nt, I will just have to deal with it. I will have my husband, my children; and my parents to help me through it. It's not fair to my children to see me cry everyday. Wondering whats wrong with their mom. I don't know why it has taken me this long to realize, but Iam glad I have. I had a friend die of leuikimia last year and I ask my self everyday, what would he say to me right now, if he could. "Enjoy the time you do have". Don't worry about when your going to die, because one day it might be to late. Hug and kiss those children of yours. I cherish everyday I have. God Bless all of you with this thing called anxiety. Sucks, I know but your not alone. God Bless .
Mom from Ohio