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Old 09-27-2006, 03:04 AM   #1
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Unhappy I'm finally going to the dr today

My anxiety has been general all my life and usually peeks when one or the other of my parents has to go through some medical test. This all started abuot 10 yrs ago when my mom had cancer. since then every ache or pain in one of them especially her makes me super-anxious. It's like I stop living and all I think about all day long is this. I come home and snap at the kids and almost can't go about my daily routine. Getting out of bed and coming to work is becoming more and more difficult. I worry all day long, it's like I'm obsessed with it and can't convince myself that things are ok. Sooooo last night DH was upset at how long this has been going on and he's right. He said our marriage is suffering and that I'm always worrying about something, I move from one worry to the next, usually its about my mom's health and he said I put her ahead of us and the kids. That I guess was the push I needed. I have an appt with my GP today at 7:45. I hope I can trasmit to her what it is that I'm feeling and get some help. I feel so desperate and lost today....

 
Old 09-27-2006, 07:24 PM   #2
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anxiousinnj HB User
Re: I'm finally going to the dr today

We all get those "lost" days- I had a bif lost day myself today, about real health isues that are terrifying me.

I hope your appt went well- if not maybe think about going to see a psyche doc ?? It's natural to worry about ourb parents health. Both my parents went from being very independent & in fact always at my house helping me, to being very sick & I am basically watching their lives slip away. It is the saddest thing I have been through thus far in this life.
I think it's also important that your husband understands that you may need to go through some of these feelings & not take it as something that is taking away from your marraige. What I mean to say is I don't think you should feel guilty--it is normal to fear your parents getting older sick, & ultimately their deaths & leaving us. I am having a very hard time with this also.

Hope I haven't made you feel worse ! Wanted you to know that you aren't alone with these fears.
Take care,

anxiousinnj

 
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Old 09-28-2006, 06:44 PM   #3
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dannic1 HB User
Re: I'm finally going to the dr today

Hi -

Something crossed my mind when I was reading your post. You mentioned
that you become "obsessed" with thinking about your mother's health all day long and that you are convinced that everything is not okay. You also
mentioned about going from one worry to another. I'm no dr., but I have
experienced anxiety and recently found out that I might have some OCD
tendencies - obsessive-compulsive disorder. When you have OCD, it's difficult
for the brain to shift off of certain intrusive thoughts and it's easy
to think about something 24/7. I'm personally having biofeedback done to
help correct mine. Just wondering if you might have some mild OCD? I
don't mean to diagnose you - just offering you some information. I know
that it's easy to worry about our parents and I luckily haven't had to face
that challenge in life yet. As for your husband, I hope he learns to be patient with you. When you are going through your own issues, it is hard
sometimes to give your all to everyone else - including your family. I'm sure you are doing your very best. Don't be too hard on yourself - my other half says that I should "push" to do more things and get out more, but when
you are going through anxiety or whatever the issue, sometimes you tend
to close yourself off. I still get out and hold down a full-time job, but I'm
having to take my recovery process, so to speak, slowly and at my pace.
You are in my thoughts and my prayers. I wish you luck at the dr.'s office
in finding a solution.

danni

 
Old 09-28-2006, 11:46 PM   #4
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thank-you

for the information. Yes I think I do hav mild OCD tendencies. Anyway I posted in a new post that the dr. prescribed remeron and so I took the first 1/2 tab day before yesterday and 1/2 today. I felt very sleepy the first morning, not so much today, though I have a sore throat which sucks because although I'm pretty sure its too soon to be from the remeon I'm left with that doubt and the lowering of your white blood cell number to make you more prone to infection is a rare but serious possible side effect of remeron.
Maybe I'll stop untill I get over this sore throat and then start again so that I can be sure its not the remeron?

 
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