I am looking for advice/opnions from fellow anxiety sufferers to help get me out of this nightmare state that I am in......this is a long intro so sorry in advance.....
8 weeks ago, I was at a party I felt fine and then 5 minutes later my legs/hands were melting into the chair I was on...I thought I was going to die and my vision went all cloudy. I shook my head and came out of it for about ten seconds and the next wave hit me.....I remember my heart pounding like a drum and thought I was going to have a heart attack. The others at the party gave me water and made me lay down in bed. I lay there panicking thinking I was going to die.....three hours later I felt normal.
The next day I was shoke up and noticed that I had a pain in my chest (dull-most likely from my heart pounding the previous night) so I decided to quit smoking and alcohol and go on a health food craze thinking I had damaged my heart. Well days went on and I was feeling normal...though I had the worry about the pain in my chest which would go from time to time.
I went on a city break (nyc) and everything and felt fine, my ears were sore and felt the pain in my chest again but ignored it. The following day however
I was in work and got a sudden bout of nausea, and I began to feel very very unsteady on my feet. I didn't actually collapse but stumbled along the corridor to the office were I got a drink of water. At this stage my heart was pounding and I seriously thought I was having a heart attack!!!
It took 1 hour to get back to "normal" as it were and continued to work throughout the day with no real problem. The next few days were okish- but I began to develop a numbness/spaced out feeling in my head- with again a sense of sillyness-stupidness which I found rather strange. Later that night I remember waking at 4am in the morning and feeling dizzy- nausea and waking up. Again my heart was pounding and I thought I was having a stroke or heart attack. I went to the ER where I was not very impressed with the response to my concerns. I advised the nurse about heart problems and dizziness. She carried out a bp test (which was fine) and a Pulse reading (which was fast, but ok) "Off you pop home and take a few days rest and you'll be right as rain in a few days" I wasn't........for the next day and night I felt really bad- totally lost my appetite, rumbling stomach etc
then came the SELF DIAGNOSIS using the various internet websites.....heart problems, brain tumours the works.
I just had had about enough and I think my mind took over not hungry (but forced myself to eat) nausea, weakness with heart palpitions- I began to think I had a brain tumour...I went back to the ER were I was met with a frosty response of "we can't help you" Dissapointed, I went away and symptoms got worse.....sleepness nights, head spinning into the pillow, off my food, spaced out feeling, feeling low etc
Again experianced this for another few days with increased heartbeat and some pain in my chest which sent my mind into overdrive. Yet again I went to the ER room and got various tests done to which he said "Yes, the ECG is fine, Are you stressed? How is your relationships? How is your Work?"
After two minutes he told me to go home and said it was all down to stress. I walked out of that hospital in tears with my partner- thinking to myself am I going crazy, am I depressed, is it in my head, why isn't anyone listening to me???I got home and felt so low, crying, nausea everything.....I got the feeling that this was it, with this for the rest of my life. At nighttime I would get worked up and sometimes felt like my legs were like jelly/floating. In the mornings I would wake up with heavy eyes and the feeling that I didn't sleep.
I went to see a doctor in my local town under went tests and at the end of the consultation he said that I have a Viral Infection of the middle ear and prescribed tablets for me. These did not work.
I went back to my parents place and saw the family doctor...I explained my symptoms and he immediately ordered a CT Brain Scan done. This came back clear. All blood works has come back clear. ALL TESTS have come back clear.
I was in LIMBO and remember sitting thinking was I going mad? I really thought I was going to end up in a mental institution. (I am being serious- I would cry hysterially) Almost everynight I would be frantically searching websites for conditions such as BRAIN TUMOURS, CANCER, HIV, HEART DISEASE, Lyme (from my city break) and the scary thing was is that I could fit all of my symptoms into them.
SCHIZOPHRENIA was next on my list. At this point I was getting 3-5hours sleep a night and was pacing around in my house feeling like I had lost my mind.
I was prescribed DIAZAPAM by the family doc which helped me sleep (8-9 hours) but I stopped taking them 4 days in. After getting sleep I found that I improved somewhat.
Right now I am having allsorts of weird symptoms...burning in little finger, feet etc and a burning feeling all over my body which comes and goes. I also get severe severe headaches......which seem to come and go.....but terrify the life out of me.
I just visited my doc today and he has said it is PANIC/ANIEXTY which are creating these symptoms. I said that I was not imagining these pains/burning sensations and suggested that it was MS....he rebuffed and said he knew I was not imagining these things....but in actual fact the brain is overloading and physically creating these sensations. He told me to go back to work next week and give it two weeks to see how things go. My appetite is back and the brain fog/spaced out feeling has gone.....
This evening I have got the burning feelings back and I can't work out whether or not it is anxiety or not because when my mind is preoccupied (like typing this) then its gone.....but when I am sitting idle.....I get the sensations and headaches.....I hate this and cannot work out whether this ANXIETY is causing this or could there be something Sinister wrong with me???? thats the doctors have missed?
I'm just confused and any help/support would be appreciated........
AND SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG POST!!!