Social Anxiety - Anxiety Message Board

orodreth · 11-09-2006, 05:02 AM

I am so glad that I have found this board, because I thought I was the only person in the world that has social anxiety.
Ever since I remember I have hated meeting new people, and have avoided at great lengths to meet new people, or have made some excuse as to why I can't go to the xmas party.
If I do meet new people I constently feel that they are thinking I'm stupid, and then after they have gone a rush of relief runs over my mind, like "phew thank god thats over", and then after that I analyze over and over what I said, and what that person would of been thinking, and how they reacted when I said this, or said that, and what expression they had on their face when I said this and that. I know its irrational, I just can help it.

Its also very hard when I talk to my partner, or friends as they don't understand, or they say that I'm just shy and I will get over it. The only person that I can speak to is my mum, and she has said even when I was 7-8 years old I used to hide in my room when there was a knock on the door.

I have just started a new job in a call centre, and I am constently faced with meeting new people, or standing up and introducing yourself (which I absolutely DREAD), or presenting something to the group, and I just want to run away.

My question is: now I know I have this problem, how can I get help? Where do I go? I really want help but have no idea where to go.

Do I go to a GP, a psychologist, a psychiatrist???

NY 1009 · 11-09-2006, 08:23 AM

they usually recommend you see a therapist first to evaluate you and then if the therapist feels you need to be put on medications, then you are referred to the psychiatrist.
Psychiatrists don't seem to be directly involved with one on one weekly discussions but dispense medication and you usually wind up seeing them only once a month to see how you're doing on the medications and to renew the scripts if needed.

anxiety is a horrible disease. it prevents us from blooming in life and prevents us from doing so many fun things. what seems so normal to others such as meeting new people or even having to find a job that's suitable for us is almost impossible.
you have to really give your self options for a job that suits you.
dealing with the public may help you get over your social anxiety quicker but what a way to do it.
a dr wrote a book about being hypersenstive and how our central nervous system is more delciate and effected more directly by stimuli and loud noise.

It's not your fault. but I sure understand how we can feel inadequate when having to meet others. I get so nervous that I forget the name of the person I"m introduced to within seconds of just being told.

medication helps tremendously.

I have general anxiety disorder which is a little different and I was put on prozac. it saved my life and has improved my way of living. I refused medication most of my life for some reason. as if I could fix the problem myself. but I was wrong.
I think you're wise for wanting to get help.
I wish you well and success at finding a dr and some medication that will make you feel better and adapt to life easier.

Linda

orodreth · 11-10-2006, 03:05 PM

Hi Linda, thanks for your reply.

You bring up a thought that alot of people ask me too. All my jobs have been customer focused and everyone aks me "why the hell are you in a customer service role if you have social anxiety".

Its really weird, I can't explain it, but all my jobs have been over the telephone eg call centre, and as soon as I get on that phone I am fine, and I will talk and talk to the customer like they are my long lost friend.
Is that strange or what. I nearly fall to pieces at even the thought of talking to someone face to face, like that "small talk" kinda stuff, but over the phone I'm fine.

Ive worked it out that, maybe when I'm taking a phone call, because I'm the one working there, I'm in control. It sounds funny but I'm the one in the "authority". Is this a normal trait of social anxiety? I would like to know from people.

Thomas

Sannah · 11-13-2006, 08:41 AM

Orodreth, I used to be anxious, I am not anymore. I would go see a therapist if I were you. I found that my anxiety was from not feeling good about myself, and therefore, I was anxious because someone might expose me. I also feel that it was because I didn't have good boundaries to protect myself, so I was always anxious about that. Being in control is very familiar to me also. Being in control helps you protect yourself.

huffnpuff · 11-13-2006, 05:08 PM

Regarding your social anxiety, Thomas, I would say you can talk and talk on the phone because you are not face to face with the person. But why can't you turn that around when you are with people face to face, and just say the same things you could say on the phone? You say you can talk on the phone like they are your best friends, but just use the same kind of talk in person. People will respond just as they do on the phone. You are probably lacking in self confidence and not being face to face, you don't care what they think, or if they are looking at you in a critical way, etc. Just be your natural self in person, as you are on the phone, and I'll bet it will work for you. You are probably a very good phone person - put it into practice in reality. Best of luck to you.