EdwardB

Hi all,

Normally i find myself fairly upbeat and capable of handling most situations - but the last two weeks has left me greatly concerned. I believe i am suffering some form of anxiety.

Two weeks ago i succumbed to a cold, with major head congestion, my nose was totally blocked and i had what i can only describe as a panic attack, i knew that i could breathe through my mouth, but the thought of not being able to breathe through my nose and clear the back of my throat made me panic. I did take a cold flu tablet called Dimetapp with a anthi-histamine and that made me drowsy, but i am more worried that the chemicals may have interefered in other more subtle ways. My anxiety levels became really high and my mind started playing through scenarios in my head. I have been surrounded lately by death, a friends mother passed away, a school friends brother passed away at the age of 41, a friend of our families is struggling with melanoma and his future looks very bleak, November is also the anniversary month that my grandfather passed away and my Aunty who was like a Grandmother to me also passed away in November. The other day at work i was flicking through the paper and there was a picture of a beautiful young boy, i had a look and it was his obituary( reading what the boys mother wrote bought me to tears) - I have a 3 year old son at home. I started thinking about my family and my parents - and as they are getting older i began to think how i would cope if i were to lose one - The problem is I wouldn't cope - Its really strange - i am creating scenarios in my head even about my friends and their parents and how they will react to a loss - and i find i am grieving for them as well yet praise be to God everyone is still alive and well. I can't understand why my mind is thinking this way and i find i cannot consciously turn it off. I haven't slept more than 40 hours in two whole weeks i feel that i am losing my mind, i can't concentrate, i find it really hard to motivate myself at the moment. Its a total mystery to me because 3 weeks ago the world was fantastic.

There are other changes in my life - I am trying to quit smoking after 18 years and i am doiong a 7 week course to finally kick the habit, and i am also leaving my employer after 17 years to work for myself in a business that i have just bought. These i suppose are major life events - but i still can't explain why i am having such morbid thoughts. My family is well, my parents are getting on but they are healthy and happy and i have two wonderful children and a great wife and we don't have any major financial issues so life should be absolutely fantastic - I am really finding it hard to function - so if anyone out there has gone through anything remotely similar i would really apprecate your input.


Thankyou for reading.