creating my anxiety? - Anxiety Message Board

hyper79 · 01-14-2007, 01:42 PM

I was wondering do you feel like you are creating your anxiety,It's a puzzled question and my may have misworded this question. I have not worked in 7 months due to Anxiety and the 4 years on the job were a nitemare I sunk in to a bad depression I hope I never see again.I now have a fear of working, the thought makes me anxious!! I lost 2 jobs prior to my last job,I guess I am afraid of the symptoms when they come at work, my last job was a truck driver and there was no safe place.I do not make future plans if I do when the time arrives I'm to sick to go but I usually do well on the spur of the moment plans like in the next 5 minutes.My wife wants me to go to disney world for a week but I know I will be in misery,sick and no fun!Usually if it involves "doing" I feel super anxious.I have tons of books on the disorder and study programs and understand all that they are saying but I can not put them to use, none of the recovery methods, my wife says I'm doing this to myself and I beleive I am but I cant get it through my skull as how.My counceler has tried to push me into and past my fears, my last visit he said say the heck with it get a job and hang in there till you pass out, just dive in? Harsh method to me, till I pass out!Since I have been out of work I have been inside 80% of the time and socializing has become hard on some days.On occasions I can give good advice on others post but I can not seem to use the advice on my self.All this mess started 5 years ago with a stinking panic attack and has evolved to depression, a BAD BAD case of health obsession, social anxiety, it has dibilitated me big time .I do try to exercise, to look at me I'm in ok shape but I go for a long walk and focus on how tired I am getting, my breathing or I should not be this tired for my age of 33, I do smoke and know the bad effects and worry I have cancer or something the doctors overlooked ,but all say I'm in excellent health after hundreds of test xrays many bw's mri's ect.I have left the doctors alone because I have wasted enough money on nothing and walking out feeling stupid!Some days few and far between I feel ok and cured in a sense almost like I never had the problem but it always returns full force! I do take klonopin as needed and take elavil for sleep, tried all the ssris with negative effects on the all.Anyone have an experience like this or any ideas I can try,I feel like I am getting worse.I have lots of neat hobbies but I cant get any happiness out of anything anymore because of my symptoms, maybe I still have a low grade depression or am going crazy.I am prescribed klonopin .5mg 3 X daily but only take it as needed, should I try it as prescribed? I dont want to get hooked to a drug and add to my worries. thanks for any replys and do you have a similiar story where it has put your life to a halt

ocdengineer · 01-14-2007, 02:03 PM

The prescription was for a purpose. If your doctor intended you to take is "as needed", he would have prescribed it that way. There are reasons why doctors don't prescribe Benzo's as needed. For instance, if you take it 3x daily the drowsiness wears off quickly never to be seen again. Also, taking it as needed doesn't keep the drug in yoru blood stream constantly which allows panic and anxiety to get at you between doses. I personally would avoid Klonopin because I have heard it can cause mild depression and it sounds like you are there. Xanax or Ativan would probably be better, but give it a shot before you quit using it.

I take Xanax 2mg per day. It has changed my whole life. I feel 100% better most of the time, but still have some days when I don't feel well. Very rarely do I have bad days in comparison to before. Your therapist is correct, you need to throw yourself into the world and keep yourself busy. You probably have too much time on your hands to brood about how horrible anxiety dissorder is. I did the same thing, so take no offense.

Take the Klonopin like the doctor prescribed and give it a week. You should start feeling better. Then I would look into cognitive behavioral therapy or meditation as a method to help you with your thought control etc.

You can't beat the disease. You will have it for the rest of your life, but what is worse. Worrying about how a drug is going to affect you or never getting to go on vacation with you family? Try the Klonopin and see what happens and if that doesn't work try Ativan or Xanax. Lay off the SSRI's because it sounds like all they do is cause you grief. Again, same thing here. I have tried them all and had horrible side effects with all of them.

Quit smoking
Quit drinking
Quit caffeine
I had to quit them all before I could even begin to find out how to fix my problem.

Exercise as much as you can
meditate and use cbt to relax

This should help you a lot.

Good luck,
OE

hyper79 · 01-14-2007, 02:48 PM

hi thanks for the advice, to do spend more time looking for a cause or dwelling on my problem "researching"and I do feel down/depressed after the klonopin wears off,I will try it as prescribed to keep it constant. I have heard more good about zanax and my pdoc has mentioned it as another med besides the klonopin and even offered but told her I would continue the klonopin.I have to see her on the 17th of this month and will ask about it and accept the prescription.I will try to quit the cigs, as well as the caffine which I'm a coffee lover, just glad I dont drink but one is bad as the other.to look at my post and your reply I guess Im not putting forth the effort to get out this hole as I should.thanks a heap for the positive advice I needed it.Maybe I'll head out for a peaceful walk or chatch up on my neglected chores.

shorebird · 01-14-2007, 03:15 PM

Ask your doctor to refer you to a cbt specialist or group. They will teach you exercises that are very helpful for overcoming anxiety.

hyper79 · 01-14-2007, 03:25 PM

I think and I may be wrong but the place I go to which is a state clinic do have programs in group settings, Ill ask at my appt,I think I have been getting cognitave thearpy if my spelling is correct and the counsler I have been seeing for quite a while has done nothing, they have like 6 others in there office,I may ask for a change and dump him especially seeing Im not improving. thanks