"Touching" with higher Anxiety levels
Hello. I am new to this board.
I have been under a lot of stress lately (health problems that snowballed into financial, relationship, living arrangements and career problems).
Anyhow...when I was about 10 yrs old I was a "toucher"...ya know, you have to touch something a certain amt of times OR ELSE something bad will happen to you. When I was 10, my touching routine before bedtime was ridiculously long...about 45 min. NOBODY ever knew. It's always been a secret. This was when my parents were separated. I have no idea how I got out of it, but I did. I have had many stressful events in life since then...but I never returned to the "touching" ....until now at the age of 32.
I am embarrassed. I feel helpless to this feeling of impending doom. I take occasional Xanax....used to be like 2x a year for the last 8 years...Panic Attacks usually, and now I am about 2x/week. (.25mg tablet). I take them when I start to feel the shakiness, can't breath, feel like you have to have someone around you b/c something bad will happen soon.
I do not see a therapist...I don't know the kind I need. I am just wanting to stop feeling aneed to "touch" things 4x (that's my #). And I'd rather do it by thinking differently instead of meds. ......And why on earth did this come back?? that is, the "touching"...I thought I conquered that over 20 yrs ago. It just started about 2 weeks ago. It's really disturbing. Its something from my past that I was SOO HAPPY to have gotten rid of. It's not as severe as it was when I was 10...but it's getting longer and more of a disturbance in my day.
Help...what do you guys say? Thanks.
Thoracic Fusion via Thoracotomy 10/06
Last edited by babs17; 02-07-2007 at 06:58 PM.