Ever since I was a little kid i have had bad anxiety. I would worry that i had cancer, or i would worry when my parents went out at night that they were going to get killed in a car accident. All this at the age of 5 or 6. Since then my anxiety comes and goes in episodes. Right now its causing me to be an extremely lazy, tired, and boring person. It is also taking a terrible toll on my three year relationship with my wonderful girlfriend. Currently i am convinced I have lymphoma. I seem to have all the symptoms. I will admit i'm a hypocondriac....always have been. I quit smoking cigarettes three weeks ago and i think my anxiety has become worse since i quit smoking. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was little and took stimulants for years. Was I really ADD, or could i not concentrate because my mind was always plagued with "what if" thoughts? Right now I take lexapro 10 mg day and clonazepam as needed. I have tried just about every antidepressant and anxiety medication, and lexapro seems to work the best for me. Still, I have major problems. My anxiety comes and goes, sometimes horrible, other times almost nonexistant but it never fails to return. My girlfriend is ready to kick me out, because she can't understand why i'm being the way I am. As much as I love her, I'm not really worried about it because I am so convinced i have lymphoma. When will I ever find a solution to my awful problem?
Last edited by ms_mod; 02-11-2007 at 12:47 PM.
Reason: Note edit to your post. If you know a word is questionable enough that you have to edit it, then choose a different word. Ms_Mod
it's good that lexapro works!!! you said you tried most of the SSRI's (paxil, prozac, zoloft, luvox)....have you tried talking to someone about all of this? you know, a professional...with a therpist, you can learn more coping skills for your anxiety, as well as different ways to deal with your relationship. a newer perspective is always good to have....
are there people in your family who've had many illnesses and problems? do you think that may affect your thinking about yourself, at least somewhat? i don't know, just asking.
anyway, if you haven't so far, please try to give therapy a chance. i really, really believe it will be of great benefit to you, grey!!!!
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...
Yes i have tried therapy many times. My mom used to send me when i was younger. I haven't been in about two years because of the cost. I can barely afford to pay for my health insurance (i'm on an individual plan), and my health insurance only pays half. It ends up still costing me a lot of money. Funny, while i'm on this subject, a fear that i've been having for a while now is "what if my health insurance cancels me?" How horrible is this. I did have some ct scans and ultrasounds done recently and the amount billed to insurance was like three grand. It seems logical to me, pretty soon I probably wont have health insurance because its going to either get canceled or its going to get way more expensive than it already is.
don't worry about things ahead of time. nobody knows the future, you know. besides, you know full well the insurance won't be paying the 3,000k; they never pay what they're billed. as long as you pay your co-payment, don't worry too much. it's really futile to worry about something before it happens, isn't it? i used to do the same thing sooooo much. but then i realized things were beyond my control and what was going to happen, was.....and what wasn't, wasn't.......so i said to myself why the heck waste energy on something that's not even an issue right now!!!! besides, i always had something else to think about. i used to say to myself, i'll cross that bridge when i get to it, cuz if i think about it all the friggin time, i'll go crazy...
uh, i just hate all this fear and worry and irrational crap we all feel. it's just playing havoc with our lives really.
i'm sorry though that you can't afford therapy right now. you know, some social workers and even psychologists will work on a sliding scale... it's worth a look into....when you have the time. they'll work out a payment plan with you...
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...
you poor guy. i also used to worry about my parents being in accidents when i was young. if i was at school and i looked out the window and saw an ambulance heading for our house i'd worry that something had happened to my mother. my middle son has the same problem. :-(
i'm also a hypochondriac (sp?) if i'm at the doctors and i pick up one of those weekly health bulletins and they're talking about a new disease i look at all the symptoms and lo and behold i've got every one!! i've learnt not to look at these things, because i know i'm susceptible.
why would you have lymphoma? have you had it checked out? i worry about my heart all the time. anxiety has ruined my life too. although when i was on zoloft i didn't worry about my heart. it's hard for our partners. i think you should see some sort of therapist, or try some 'nutritional therapy'. if you can't afford therapy, look in your library for a book by Patrick Holford called 'Optimum Nutrition for the Mind'. He talks about nutrition and how different supplements can help with anxiety and depression.
Zinc is good for anxiety, so are all the B vitamins, and fish oil. Do some research. i reckon my anxiety has improved a lot since i started taking supplements. they're a lot cheaper than therapy. anxiety is an inherited condition - i can see it in my middle son. i don't think my other boys have it (God I hope not!!!) As soon as he is old enough (he's 11) I'll get my middle son on to supplements and hopefully they'll stop him getting more anxious. He's very sporty and very energetic and active, but his mind races all the time. My father used to think he had ADD but I don't think he does because he can focus enough to be really good at sport and his schoolwork's ok too.
I think you should read the Holford book. It's all about treating the cause not the symptoms and if it is a nutritional deficiency causing your problems then it's fairly easy to fix. by the way you can't overdose on the B vitamins - they're water soluble. so even if you're NOT deficient, taking them won't hurt you. and the main food sources of zinc are natural oysters and herrings, so unless you eat a lot of those you probably need more zinc. one of the signs of zinc deficiency is white spots on more than two fingernails, and stretch marks.
So I went to the doctor today. The doctor does not think i have lymphoma and thinks my lymph nodes feel normal. ( now i am questioning if the doctor is just saying that to make me feel better) so anyway i got a complete physical and some bloodwork done....a complete blood count. The doctor has recommended therapy, and after talking to my mom, she has agreed to pay for it. I hope things get better soon, and I really help that my bloodwork comes back ok.
Yesterday I had a complete blood count done, as well as some blood test to see if there was in inflamation anywhere in my body, as well as thyroid test, blood sugar, and something else I can't remember. So today i get a message from the doctor saying please call about my blood work, its not an emergency, but please call. I almost fainted. So I call, and the doctor is with a patient and has to call me back. I am literally about to freak out. So they call back and said that everything looked normal except my blood sugar was a little high. Well i had just eaten lunch right before i had the blood drawn, so they said that probably why and they want me to come back one morning when i haven't had anything to eat. I also went to therapy today. I didn't really connect with the therapist, but i'm going back to her one more time, and if i still don't connect i'm going to try someone else.
I also have bad anxiety and over the years it has gotten better but there was a time when I thought I had everything, I would think if my stomach hurt that i had a tumor, or if i had chest pain that i was having a heart attack, it sucks that we have to live like this, all I can say is that once you start to say you are not going to live like this anymore and you start telling yourself you are ok and its just the anxiety making you feel like this then everything will start to get better. Non of the drugs doctors put me on work, so I said, the hell with it and quit taking them. One doctor told me that I needed to eat better because my sugar levels were also elevated, he said that insulin levels and seritonin (sp?) levels have a lot to do with each other and if they are elevated then you can feel a sense of nervousness or anxiety. Sure enough when I started exercisesing and eating better and drinking only water I started to feel better, mentally and physically. I can personally say though that once you start to tell yourself that you are not going to live like this anymore and you fight it and overcome it you will feel 100% better! Good Luck!!