need to change / help my self quick, how? - Anxiety Message Board

jamesinUK · 03-17-2007, 02:05 AM

Hi, I am hoping that maybe someone can help, when it comes to social problems i have had numerous things that have made me quite bad socialy, i have recently met a girl off the net whom i have met a few times now and its good although i do get a lot of moans that i dont like going out much and she wants to, this has recently hurt the friendship slightly because i hadnt seen her for a month or so and she questioned me as a m8 and why have i not bothered with her which i guess she is right somewhat. she does have an idea of most of my problems.

Because i am now meeting her more and starting to get out a bit with her, i constantly worry about my problems and how i am around people, since not having anyfriends for about 11 / 12 years i have sorta forgoten how to have fun and be natural and out going and i often feel akward doing most things like shouting, runnin about, dancin. all the things you do expressivly in a social sence, so most of the time i either just freeze and feel stupid.

i also have my other problem which usualy also stops me from going out which is not being able to go the toilet when out in a pub / club, basicly anywhere, when id need to go and others will be around, if theres a cubicle with a door am generaly ok, if no door which happens a lot i can still be nervous just knowing there isn't a door there.

I didn breifly mention some things to my gp who when i asked to see a phycologist he laughed and sed i will make an appointment for a councellor, who i had already seen one for 2 years previous anyway, so am not sure if i can get much help from him.

thanks

James

Chez19 · 03-17-2007, 05:08 AM

Hi James,

You need a new GP. If your GP will not refer you to a psychologist you are wise finding a doctor who will.

Getting a psychologist is not a privelage it is your right!! They are made for people like you (and me). So that's the absolute first step you need to take.

Unfortunately when there's a web of problems that are all intertwined... its all about unravelling the way you think. This will take time so unfortunately there's no quick fix.

As for your social issues, until you start to work through them with therapy, perhaps just try to take it slow. Don't be concious of thoughts like "you're being boring" or "no fun". Whatever you feel comfortable with is what you do. Labelling yourself as boring etc. won't do anything.

Just get yourself a good referral and take one step at a time.

Best of luck,
Chloe

ms_mod · 03-17-2007, 10:56 AM

James,

Please note that the quote of your other post has been removed from this one.

As stated in the rules, your question is to be posted on ONE board only and only ONCE on that board.

The quoted post I removed is already on this board and on the "Sexual Health - Men" Board.

Please do not post it again here or on any other board.
As stated above it's already been posted twice which violates Healthboards posting rules.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Ms_Mod

jamesinUK · 03-19-2007, 05:17 PM

Hi, thank you for the reply, i guess am gonna have to just try and force my gp to do something lol

Does anyone else have any more advice on the toilet problem

i find that deeply embaressing, and i think if i could get over that it would help immensely, its probably one of the main reasons for me always avoidin wantin to go out places with my m8s, the fear of what if i cant go or if theres a load of people in there or there isn't a cubical free or if it doesn't have a door

i know that probabky sounds a bit stupid but thats how i think about it, and the whole fear it then not bein able to go or having to walk out without having done anything and feeling stupid and then perhaps really needing to go!

anyway i hope someone can advice more on this?

If i mentioned that to my gp what is the usual treatment or advice?
from my past experience with tryin to be open and personal with my gp i dont get the feelin either 1 he believes me or 2 he thinks am wasting his time.

thanks

James