nome alone

I don't know what to do with myself. For the last two years I have been suffering with anxiety and panic attacks. It happens when I have to go somewhere, especially going somewhere i have to eat in front of others, I can't eat i can't enjoy myself, when people invite me out the first thing I think of is how to get out of it. Im only 19 i should be out enjoying myself shouldn't i? I've never been one to go out and get really drunk every weekend like some people i know, but i can't even enjoy nice family occasions such as meals, cos i just throw up.

for a while i've been making myself sick just before i go somewhere, cos that takes the fear away that i might be sick in a public place. My hands go tingly and sweaty, i feel cold and dizzy, im know starting to feel like this when i have to just eat at home. I only feel comfortabe eating when im alone.

I did go to the doctors and had four counselling sessions but it didn't work - i felt ok in the room with the psychologist but i couldnt go out and put it into practice. was put on beta blockers but they havent worked.

I started university last septmeber but hated it, so i left in february this year. I have no job, no motivation to go and get one, i did apply for a couple but got rejected. My confidence has gone, i dont think i'll ever be able to do anything without feeling anxious, i havnt left my home for 5 days, i think im getting really withdrawn, i just dont want to do anything. any advice greatly appreciated, or anyone feeling similar, just so i dont feel totally alone.