An introduction, I'm new here! - Anxiety Message Board

IslandDebTx · 04-17-2007, 09:45 PM

Hi all,
I'm Deb, live in Tx. First experienced anxiety about 1990, back then was put on Tranzene(sp?) and it seemed to help. Anxiety started to diminish when I stopped working at the place i was at, and then a few years ago it started to come back. It started becoming bad when my mom got sick last year, worrying about her and trying to help take care of her. I often had attacks and knew it was stress related. you name the symptom, I had it, but mostly a dizzy, lightheaded feeling, feeling that something was going to happen to me but I don't know what, a panicked feeling that I was going to die and afraid that no one would be able to help me.
My mom passed Jan 31 of this year, and initially I felt a small amount of relief from anxiety because I knew she was no longer suffering. Then, here lately I have started to just feel anxious at any given moment. I can't let anyone else drive me anywhere. I am afraid to get on a plane because I worry that I will wig out on the plane and have no way to escape. Once, I had a panic attack at lunch time in a restaurant and since then, JUST at lunchtime, I sometimes can't go out to eat for fear of having an attack. Alot of times I worry about every single thing-having to take care of my dad who just had surgery, cleaning my house, toting kids to and fro, getting the house remodeled, everything. Everything I have to do, not even that it all needs to get done in one day but then I start feeling overwhelmed and anxiety starts up. The other day I was at my dad's house and my sister came in complaining about things going on in her life and I didnt' even realize it but I started feeling nauseated, lightheaded, dizzy, hot. I was so scared I was going to vomit (yet another fear) and I went to the bathroom. As I was in there, chanting to God not to let me die or throw up and promising all sorts of crazy things, my sister left and the minute I heard the door slam, I felt at least 80 percent better. It's weird.
I don't take any meds because I am so afraid that if I go to the doctor they are going to find a million things wrong with me. Sometimes I feel hypoglycemic becuase I haven't eaten or something and then I get scared by that feeling and it becomes worse. I feel like I have so many issues, it's unreal. Small little chest pain, I think it's a heart attack. Head ache, aneurysm. Cancer, stroke, you name it, I think I have it sometimes.
Anyway, Just wanted to say hi to you all, state my issues, and say thanks for writing about yours becaus sometimes just reading that others have the same issues makes me feel like I'm not going to die from it and others live with it and find ways to make it better.

Anxiety-stinks · 04-17-2007, 11:08 PM

Welcome!I also have anxiety along with depression.I know what you mean about little things triggering it.Reading other people's thoughts who are suffering the same as we are does indeed help.I have gotten mine under control somewhat without meds.I have a hard time tolerating them.Good luck to you and keep us posted.One day at a time is all you can do.

ThisShallPass · 04-18-2007, 12:43 AM

Hi there. I'm new to this board also. I totally know what you mean by having a headache and thinking it's an anuerysm (brain tumor for me). I jump to the conclusion that something is wrong with me all the time. I am just slowly starting to get out of that but I feel for you.

IslandDebTx · 04-24-2007, 11:45 PM

Thanks so much to you all for welcoming me here. I really hate the feeling I get and lately it's been a little better but now here i am, up at almost 1 am, and feeling like i can't breathe. I heard a noise, the dog barked and now I have this fear like someone is outside, even though I know it's the wind and i saw a plant knocked over on the porch, likely the noise I and the dog heard. Boyfriend is asleep, kids asleep, I get freaked out because I don't feel like I can wake him up if I get too bad because he's got to get up really early for work. Then, I feel like even if it does get seriously bad he's not going to be able to do much for me and then i start getting even more weird feeling, like if something happened to me, no one would know or recognize it. sometimes I feel so crazy for the odd things I think! Most of the time I think it might be situations that provoke anxiety in me, for example taking my dad to the doctor, and he goes to the same place I used to have to take my mom, and when I take him i start feeling hot, faint, dizzy, and scared. today was a major "wooo hoooo' for me because I didn't feel that way today. Sometimes when i start feeling icky I might think my boyfriend is rolling his eyes at me, and that freaks me out even worse thinking he's not understanding the seriousness of how i feel and how badly I feel at that moment. It doesn't always work to rationalize with yourself that you've felt this way a million other times, and you got through it.
I used to work in an office with a woman that does mind-body stress reduction, she did research on it, and I had heard from her a man named John Kabat Zinn that has audio cd's telling you how to relax. I found one and it seemed to help a little while I was listening to it even though I didn't listen all the way through. Boyfriend said his voice freaked him out though I found it kind of calming.
Okay, I'm rambling and I am feeling slightly better by writing about how I feel, so thanks for allowing me this outlet that really helps sometimes!

Deb