Nervous about spending money for personal use - Anxiety Message Board

Jason27 · 04-18-2007, 09:08 AM

I hope that this is the correct forum since I didn't see a paranoia forum. Anyway, it is ironic when I was younger I made sure to spend every penny of my check back when I was still in school and didn't have a lot of money. Now I make a pretty good amount of money and do not buy any "gifts" for myself even though I can afford them. One main reason is because even though I was working hard, about 5 years ago a ton of problems hit me at once where my car brokedown, I couldn't afford to get it fixed to have transportation to go to work, the credit card bills began pilling up, etc. Now all of my bills are paid, I have a car that is paid for, and I am self employed and the money is great.

However I do not spend a single dime on anything for personal use. All I used to do was hang out with friends, and now I work everyday. I see that we spend all of our money trying to impress others with fancy cars and clothes even if we do not admit it. However since all I do is work now and noone hardly ever sees me, I have no reason to show off so basically I have nothing to buy.

The thing that stresses me more is that I do not want to die with a lot of unspent money in the bank. Then again I am afraid that I will spend too much money, then my business will not do well and I will go back to being a broke loser again. How can I resolve this problem?

negot · 04-18-2007, 09:00 PM

I have a very dear friend with a problem similar to yours. In her case, she is able to spend money on others, but not on herself. Do you think you could start doing small things for yourself, like going out to a nice dinner or treating yourself to something that you want, but that is inexpensive? I think it is necessary to take baby steps and not think in terms of nice cars and other expensive things. By the way, I have the totally opposite problem. I shop till I drop. That's my way of dealing with my anxiety.
Have you thought of seeing a therapist briefly to discuss the fact that you are denying yourself material things to the point where it seems to bother you?

firenice · 04-18-2007, 09:18 PM

There are many things you can do with excess personal money. You should be putting some into several savings accounts for specific purposes, ie, vacation, gifts to others, gifts to yourself, charities... you can put money into retirment, into a mad money account to be used for whatever. You can, and should be, spending some on your own little pleasures such as good food, comfortable clothes, hobbies, entertainment....You don't need to buy big item things but you certainly can and they don't always have to do with impressing others. You may also want to explore your psychological relationship to money - take some workshops, buy some books. What does money mean to you?

Jason27 · 04-19-2007, 06:06 AM

Thanks for the replies. Well before I lost everything material items and money was extremely important to me. Now I care more about learning new things and trying to become better at whatever new project I am working on. I have a few nice outfits but I do not feel comfortable wearing them since every single person stares at me everywhere I go. Weird eh? :P I used to not mind the attention but since I am a big tall guy everyone stops and stares since I guess I look like a celebrity or something. I just like to throw on my Nike shorts and shirt and run out the house and blend in with the crowd. Plus I do not want to become a target by attracting the wrong type of people. I do find it funny though when I am in a store and the salesman is making a huge deal out of the price of something as if I cannot afford it heh.

Oh and yes I do save the money in savings accounts and plan to donate a lot of electronics and clothes to Goodwill. I wanted to get into the stock market but not sure where to begin.