Hi, does anyone else out there get anxiety over having something good happening to them? I am sitting here trying to "fight" off an anxiety attack, I will explain why.... I am 45 years old and today was my last day of work for the summer. I have 2 children and have wanted to stay home with them since my youngest was born 5 years ago. I am scared to death that since I have finally gotten to this place where I can be a Mom to my kids and take care of my family (I have saved some money that will replace my salary for the summer) that something bad is going to happen. I guess I don't believe that I deserve to be happy. Plus the fact that I really need to take a break for my own health, the stress and anxiety of my life is just about to get to me. I have really bad GERD and the stress/anxiety really wreck havoc on me. My husband made a great dinner and the kids are so happy, they had a "Mommy doesn't have a job" party to celebrate and here I am worried that I am going to have something bad happen.
My Dad died a month ago and I am now freaking out over dieing and leaving my children with no Mother.
I am going to see a new doctor on Monday and maybe she can recommend a counselor or something...but I just wondered if anyone else ever has this happen. I should be jumping up and down with joy, but not me I am just sitting under my dark cloud....
Thanks for listening!
you aren't the only one...it's a big change that you have to adjust to...when my husband was coming home from deployment after being gone 8 months..i was almost dreading it because of the anxiety...eventhough i knew it was crazy to have so much anxiety over it...it was still there...it's just an adjust and change in your life that is causing anxiety...atleast that's how it is for me...good or bad things still cause me to be anxious...
I completely know what you are feeling. I do the same thing. I also got laid off last August, and luckily my husband just landed a job making twice what he did before so this enabled me not to work. He is really wonderful and I have a great 4 year old, a very respectful, wonderful stepdaughter that lives with us and I felt as if since things were good that something bad was going to happen. I also lost my mom in January, the 31st and it has not been an easy road. I often think of her and it hurts me so much. Then when I am doing okay and I am not thinking of her every moment, it makes me feel guilty.
You will be fine, nothing bad will happen to you, you have to keep telling yourself that. I know I do. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Just like that little girl Vada on My Girl, she imagined she had every disease each person would come to her father's mortuary with. Or What About Bob, if he pretended he had the ailment, then he doesn't really have it. I have often felt as crazy as that but trust me, it is just the anxiety and you WILL regain composure in your life. This message board is a wonderful outlet for letting go of bottled up feelings and fears and it really does work for me, I hope it does for you too. In fact, most of the time when I am feeling anxiety I come on here, read others posts, and it makes me feel so much better just to know that others feel the same way I do. It makes me feel not so strange.
God Bless you and I will be sending good thoughts your way that you will find a calm balance in your life and enjoy what life has to offer instead of feeling guilty that you have good in your life that you don't feel you deserve. You DO deserve it, so do I, we all do!
Last edited by ms_mod; 06-02-2007 at 04:47 AM.
Reason: Removed quote that was not needed. Ms_Mod
I know what you are going through. When I was 13 I was shot. For me that day is one of the most memorable because if it wasn't for me getting shot, it would have been an extremely happy one. I had just started a new school, I felt that I looked pretty that day and I found out that some boys had crushes on me. I was very happy (for a 13 yr old who didn't have an easy or happy childhood). But then I got shot later that day . Since then I have this problem that if I am too happy I have to bring myself down because I am afraid that something horrible is going to happen to me. Like if things are going too smoothly for me I start to get anxious that things are going well and that something is going to come and mess it up. Unfortunately, since I got shot I now suffer from PTSD, and that turned into a Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia. You are not alone out there.
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened . . . Mark Twain
I also get this constant fear of something bad happening to me. It usually starts in the afternoon for some reason but I just fight the thoughts out of my head and tell myself that I am safe. It has started to help. I don't take any meds. because I just really don't want to. It is just good to know that I am not the only one that suffers with these fearful thoughts!
Thanks to everyone, it really does make a difference knowing that I am not the only one with these thoughts going through my head. I just become so obsessed with thoughts of death and bad things happening. My Mom said that I watch far too much tv....I have to keep telling myself that I am not a "Movie of the week"..
I have been really working on positive affirmations and telling myself that I do deserve to be happy and so does my family. I guess we have been through soooo much in the last year that I am just really afraid...
Anyway, thank you all so much! My good thoughts and prayers go out to each of you, I do feel better knowing that you are all here!