Reallly need some advice. - Anxiety Message Board

bear8001 · 07-03-2007, 11:42 AM

Hi,
I'm 18 years old and my mom has been emotionally abusive for years but I didn't understand this until a few years ago and until then I believed everything she said, and to some extent I still do. This has led to depression and most of all, anxiety. I really don't know what to do about that situation other than avoid it as much as possible, which leads to my issue at hand.

I attend a top university, but it is a self-proclaimed "party school" and I don't drink or party, and I don't intend to start. It is also large and very far away from the only people I trust in my life. The nice thing about it is that I have a full-ride to the school so I don't feel like I'm depending on my mom to pay for me to go to school, and also, I feel like this is the only thing I've ever done in my life that makes her proud. Which I know on the inside that as much as she's done to to hurt me, that shouldn't matter, but it still does.
Anyhow, I've found a college in the same city with the people that I trust the most from home but it's a lot smaller than my current school but it is NOT a party school. I think that I might thrive on the more personal attention that I would receive from transferring to this school.
I plan on visiting the school next week, but my mother doesn't approve of the school because it isn't quite as prestigious or challenging as the school i attend now. But if I like the school after I visit next week I really would like to apply and attend, for once I would feel like I'm doing whats right for me, and I've never done that before, but I feel like I would let my mom down and she'd be "disappointed."
I guess I just need some advice on this decision.

Thanks sooo much.

bonzer · 07-03-2007, 03:14 PM

since your mother isn't paying your way and you are an adult now, i think that you should be able to go to a quieter uni that's more to your style. but be sure you don't depend on other people for validation. you know that the only one who is there for you is yourself. depend on her. good luck

ozinpanic · 07-03-2007, 10:58 PM

I being a mother might be a bit biased towards your mum. Even though you are an adult you have to be sure you're making the right decision based purely on what is good for you and not in spite of your mother. Which school will benefit you in the long term? after you complete your course, which will offer you a career and which will offer you just a job? Where will you be in 10 years time? Looking back will you have regretted the decision you made? Only you can make these decisions.