Desperate... need help!! Please read. - Anxiety Message Board

sweetsurrender7 · 07-04-2007, 08:52 PM

Hello all,

I am new to this board and in desperate need to feel better and more like myself again. Let me give you some background on myself.... this might be lengthy.

Ever since I was a child I've had a general sense of dread and fear that always seemed to surround me. I always thought I had every disease in the book and I made myself sick with worry. By high school it just got worse. For one week I was convinced I had a stomach problem and was unable to go school, eat, or really function at all (and nothing was wrong). By 16 I began having panic attacks which came on out of the blue and I had no idea what they were. I called them "freak outs." By the time I was 18 I had one episode of panic that was so terrible it left be literally debilitated for weeks. I couldn't eat, sleep, go to school, concentrate, etc. All I could do was keep checking my pulse for fear that I was having a heart attack. I saw my Dr. who diagnosed me with anxiety and depression and he prescribed Paxil and Xanax, but I never took them for fear of side effects, etc (in general I don't like to take medication unless it's Advil, Pepto or birth control.) Instead I saw a therapist who helped me a great deal. For awhile I was feeling much better... then a year later I went through a similiar episode which ended with me seeing the therapist again and recovering. Since then I have had some panic attacks, although very infrequently. My general sense of dread still lurks beneath and I often think I'm "dying"

The reason I come here now is that about a month ago I left my hometown and moved with my fiancee to NYC. Since we're been here I've felt a little anxious and depressed and have considered seeing a therapist again. I don't have a job or really much to do yet, so I rarely leave my apt. For a little over a week now I've had (yuck) the runs and it really started to bother me this weekend when me and my bf went to NJ to visit his family. Once we got there I wouldn't eat for fear of getting sick. Upon returning home this past Sunday I still have no appetite and am now experiencing some sort of "episode" I cannot leave the house unless I have to, I basically just sit in bed all day and worry that something is seriously wrong with me. My symptoms are basically just the diarrhea, no serious pain or anything like that, although I get the empty stomach pains for lack of food intake. For 2 days all I could do was cry to myself while my bf was at work... and I don't understand why!! I just have this impending doom sensation and it is terrible. I just cannot preoccupy myself. Last night me and m bf went out (i forced myself) and basically all night I just kept to myself and laid on a couch in the bar. However, at one point I began talking to a guy and suddenly... I felt hungry again. Once I got home I ate and felt great... no diarrhea, no anxiety, depression... felt like myself. Sleep great too (I've had some sleeping troubles too)

This morning I woke up feeling not wonderful, but better than I have been. Then I got diarrhea again and immediately felt freaked out again... just worried and worried all day. Felt like my heart was beating too fast and just felt basically out of it. I have some nausea now as well. This evening I felt a bit better and I tried to go with my bf to a friend's house and watch the fireworks but as soon as we got there I got hit with a terrible wave of nausea and we had to leave. Once we got home I crashed into bed and the nausea passed but I am just so worried again. I am PETRIFIED to go see a doctor (plus I don't have insurance) but I am fearful something is wrong with my stomach.

Does anyone else have diarrhea/nausea as a result of their anxiety? How do you make it stop? I am supposed to start my new job tomorrow and am so terrified I won't be able to handle it.

Right now my stomach feels better (but no appetite) as it usually is at night. Does anyone else notice a decrease in their anxiety when it is close to bedtime?

Any thoughts/help/advice would be appreciated, I just want to know that I'm not alone!! Thanks for reading my novel!!

-Kristen

djames · 07-04-2007, 10:31 PM

Hi

You are definatley not alone. Your symtoms do sound anxiety related. I was alot like you as a child I am 50 now and felt the same way you did about taking Meds. I tried it all Therapy which helped some what, religion etc. Finally In My late 30's I fouind Paxil and Ativan. The best thing that ever happened to me. I was able to do so many things that I was afraid of. Life was great, I went off the Paxil for a 8 month period, and I paid the price for that, I cant believe the difference it makes for me, It sounds like if you have been suffering since you were a child this problem could be some what hereditary. If that is so you need to think of the meds as if you were a diabetic. They need there insulin to keep them alive, some of us need these meds so we can function. Hope this helped. Remember to breath. and keep good thoughts. as best you can.

korgiee · 07-05-2007, 08:39 AM

Wow!! I could have written that. Although I am 51 I had all those symptons for months before I could be diagnosed by a doctor. I was sure I had every illness known to man. I had 2 small children at the time and i would drop them off at preschool and cry until they came home. My husband had to call my parents 2 hours a way to come all the time. (that was my panic) I had nausea all the time, no appetite, and constant diarreha. I had diarreha for 6 months every morning until I got on some meds. the first night i took the meds I woke up with no diarreha or nausea. I can't tell you what to do, but you sound like you need to see a doctor. As I tell other people that ask my advice, you sound like you have an imbl;ance in your system that may be out of your control. If you do not want to walk around feeling that way go to the dr. Your history dictates you are suffering from anxiety and depression. You may not think so intelluctually but your body is telling you otherwise. I had no idea I was suffering from depression. I was happy as can be. SO I thought. Go to a doctor. You can and will feel so much better. Alyce

korgiee · 07-05-2007, 08:41 AM

I could not have said it any better than you did. Meds also changed my life.Alyce

VoodooBiker · 07-05-2007, 12:49 PM

Obviously, when you are able to get insurance, a trip to the doctor would help a great deal. But that aside - I've read stomach issues and anxiety are fairly common.

I had a full-blown anxiety attack six weeks ago that resulted in a hospital ride for me. I was in Chicago - never experienced an anxiety attack before - I was in an environment that would not trigger an anxiety attack, but my heart wouldn't stop racing.

Anyway - ever since then, I've had a few - what I've considered "anxiety aftershocks" that have resulted in the feeling of an upset stomach - an a feeling of diarrhea coming on. In public, I get nervous if I have to go to the restroom because I don't know how long I'm going to be in there. I've taken some Tums with me - which is good, because they also contain calcium. I've read calcium and magnesium supplements - while not anti-anxiety remedies - are encouraged.

Like I said, I'm not a doctor, but I also read somewhere that when you're experiencing anxiety, your body is going into its natural "fight or flight" mode - and part of that response includes some areas of your body gearing up its defenses - one result (I hope I'm getting this right) - is that the acids in your stomach go into over-production mode - acting as a bit of an appetite suprecent(sp?).

What I've done to cope...
1. I've stocked up with organic, plain yogurt and have cut out virtually all fried and processed foods
2. I've gone to tea places and also went to the store and stocked up on 'calming' teas - such as teas containing lavender and chamomile
3. "positive talk" - As uncomfortable as upset stomach aches and diarrhea can be - I keep saying to myself "I can cope with this - I've dealt with stomach aches since I was a kid" - the heart racing thing I'm still working on curbing. But at least I can cope with the occasional stomach issues.
4. Journal - journal - journal: It's distracting. But it helps. Already, it seems like you kicked your anxiety - at least for a bit, when you went out with friends. Just get a journal and start writing down your fears for the day - and with that - make the next thing you write be about the stuff that made you proud for the day (such as the time when you went out without any major anxieties). Even make it small. When I journal, I still write "no trips to the ER" - even a month after I had to go to the ER again for an anxiety attack.

Hope this helps