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How am I going to survive

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Old 08-07-2007, 06:07 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 66
ashmegmom HB User
How am I going to survive

My anxiety is becoming overwhelming on a daily basis. It started with the news that I need to have a colonoscopy. I of course have worried and worried about this until I have decided I have cancer. I don't even have a date set yet. That should happen today. I wake up early every morning in panic. My whole body seems to be shaking. I am so tired and I can't seem to overcome these feelings. I just want to hide at home but I have 2 kids and a job I need to deal with. How will I ever make it to the date of the test? I don't think it would help to start taking drugs now because I would probably have to go off of them for the test. Someone please help me with ideas????????????

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Old 08-07-2007, 08:25 AM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2007
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VoodooBiker HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

Waiting for tests is agonizing. I would say first off - a colonoscopy is one of the most routine exams you can have. Without getting too nosy, did the doctor specify a reason for the exam, or was it a routine screening?

I would say just a lot of positive talk is going to pull you through...
1. You're getting treatment for something that you're concerned about
2. Lots of people have colonoscopy exams. The president just had one. My mom had one - and they removed three polyps - all benign. You're getting one of the most routine exams in medicine.
3. If - if you are worried that you can't make it until the exam, I would call again and ask to be put on a waiting list. People cancel exams, people get ill - or people just reschedule. Ask to be put on a waiting list.

Old 08-07-2007, 11:51 AM   #3
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ashmegmom HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

I am 42 yrs old and have had irritable bowel syndrome and anal fissures for 20 years. I have had a couple of instances of blood in the stool recently. The doctor just said that I was of an age now that we needed to check this out and not assume it was from the same condition as before. It is my mind that has blown it up to be cancer. I know it is the right thing to do and I am trying to tell myself that if I have something it is better to find out. I can't seem to stop the anxiety and nervousness. It gets to the point where I just can't hardly function. I am trying your positive talk and it will help for awhile and then the nervousness comes back but I am going to keep pushing on.

Old 08-07-2007, 11:59 AM   #4
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tnmomofive HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

Like voodoobiker said ask to be put on their waiting list.As far as meds well you could always opt for something to take just on a as needed basis like Klonopin,xanax,or ativan.

Old 08-07-2007, 04:01 PM   #5
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gooby HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

keep yourself so busy that you do not have time to worry. In my life, that isn;t all that hard but when the down time comes such as going to bed or simply taking a breather for a minute, thoughts can creep in.

My daughter has anxiety problems and I keep trying to get her to try meditation, yoga, or tai chi. Two of those not only deal with the mind but also help your body as well. The other (TM) simply deals with relaxation and self control. One often simply needs to learn how to control their mind and keep it in check.

If you are having problems dealing with this, I would think that many things cause some level of anxiety. Learning how to control yourself without drugs is the best way to go (at least in my mind).
robotic LRP 11-20-06

Old 08-07-2007, 05:13 PM   #6
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eblguim HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

your doctor probably can not not order this test because of liability issues. Hes has to make sure, if you ever develop something, that he has covered all possibilities. You probably have nothing, but he has to cover his butt.

Old 08-07-2007, 05:43 PM   #7
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Andrea84 HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

I agree that it would be ideal to be able to control our anxiety through keeping busy, meditation, yoga, and other self-help techniques but there comes a time when a drug to take the edge off the anxiety is necessary. In addition to positive thinking it would be a good idea to get short term meds to help you through this period. I don't think extreme anxiety is particularly good for a person's body and immune system - the meds will help you feel much better and will help restore your perspective.

Last edited by Andrea84; 08-07-2007 at 05:44 PM.

Old 08-08-2007, 08:10 AM   #8
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Saint Cloud, FL
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hotdam HB User
Re: How am I going to survive


You will do just fine, this procedure is done everyday of the week pretty much like our paps. we have to have those once a year, my 67 yr old mother just had her first colonoscopy done 2 weeks ago, she said it was nothing, although she did have a large polyp that was removed and it was benign.

The doc told me that I will need to have them done since now there is history, I also have anxiety and panic issues. I am 45 and have never had one, of course I will be nervous & anxious as everyone gets nervous with any type of procedure. You will be fine.

Old 08-08-2007, 09:53 AM   #9
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ashmegmom HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

Thank you for your replies. I just can't stop worrying about the worst result even though I met with the surgeon who will perform the test yesterday and he said it was probably nothing but they were just being cautious. I had a better night last night sleeping because I tried some of the ideas on here about changing my thoughts. But this morning I had a bad attack and thought I wasn't going to be able to stay at work. I thought I had calmed down some but then these anxiety attacks come out of nowhere. I am a lot better now. Just hope I can continue with the positive thoughts. The test is not until 8/27.

Thank you all for posting. It means a lot.

Old 08-08-2007, 12:19 PM   #10
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Re: How am I going to survive

Ash......I know exactly where you're coming from! There is a history of colon cancer in my family, my gf and an aunt and uncle. I'm in my 50's and waited until last year to have a colonoscopy because I was so scared. I only went for it because I took another test that showed a mutation in the sample. By this time I was in an absolute panic, sure I was a goner. On top of that my husband was ill with terminal esophageal cancer, so the big C was foremost in my mind. Anyway to make a long story short. everything turned out ok! A couple of polys were removed, all benign, and I have to go back every 3-4 years because of family history. The worst part of it is the prep. Drinking that yucky salty liquid and sitting on the pot is the worst Think positive and I'm sure everything will be fine . Be sure to keep us posted

Old 08-09-2007, 06:49 AM   #11
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Re: How am I going to survive

I'm sorry you're feeling such anxiety & stress. I know how hard the waiting it. I just went thru 2 weeks of waiting to hear if I had breast cancer & I was literally terrified. I would wake up in the middle of the night shaking but thankfully all was ok. Best wishes for you.

Old 08-11-2007, 02:14 PM   #12
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Lightlife HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

It's the waiting thats agony. The exam is absolutely fine, ive had it done. I got my results the same day but then i went private, the NHS may be different, so i didnt have the prolonged agony of waiting more for results. i know this is hard, but im a bad worrier and my Hubby says to me, worry WHEN you have to worry. Dont waste time worrying until maybe its time to worry. Hard but good advice, and easier said than done, but try. You will be fine, let us know of the outcome. All the best

Old 08-11-2007, 03:57 PM   #13
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Kymberlee HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

I was in the same boat as you a few years ago!!! My son was very young & I was scared to death when they found blood in my stool. I thought for sure that I had cancer. I had my husband re-married, my son a new step-Mom & I was in the grave!!! So. please. take it from someone who has BEEN THERE. I had my colonospy (sp?) and I was fine. I had some bleeding from a fissure & I had to use some supossitories (sp?) for 2 weeks & it cleared right up! The one poster that said that the Doctor has to "cover his butt" is right--and it's just better to have the whole test & have it over with! I used to wake up shaking from fear of what they might find. I prayed alot and read my Bible to gain my composure. It really helped me alot. Try it! God Bless You, Kym.

Old 08-11-2007, 04:21 PM   #14
Join Date: Jun 2006
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ryleetn HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

Try and calm down, I went through the same thing not too long ago, My white cell count was up 2 differnent times so my family dr decided I needed to go to a blood specialist a.k.a. oncologist, which freaked me out, well I went to the first appt, and he decided to do a bone marrow test. I was so terrified I waited at least 2 months to make the appt. because I was afraid but decided waiting wasn't making it any better, long story short everything turned out ok but the longer you let it linger and wonder the worse you will feel. I have had anxiety and panic for many years. Good luck hope everything turns out.

Old 08-12-2007, 02:27 PM   #15
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 66
ashmegmom HB User
Re: How am I going to survive

Thank you so much for your replies. Kymberlee you just described my thinking exactly. I have been thinking about giving my husband pointers on how to pick a stepmother for my kids since I am sure I am done for. I went and talked to a therapist that I used to see about ten years ago. She helped me alot with why I think like I do but also said it takes lots of work to change. She also put me on Lexapro which I started Friday. I have had side effects that have made me feel worse so far so that has made this even more difficult. I hope those fade soon!

My husband tells me the same thing about not worrying until there is a reason. I know that is great advice but have never been able to be like that. It makes me mad that he can but it is probably why we are together.

Also thanks for the colonoscopy stories that turned out fine. I just have to make it to 8-27 now to find out how mine will turn out. How do you guys get thru your daily life with these anxieties?

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