Tired of being anxious all the time!!
Hello! My name is Kirsten. I have a family history of panic attacks/anxiety disorders on both sides of my family- my maternal grandfather's was so severe, it kept him from fighting in WWII. That's pretty serious.
I had my first panic attack when I was 14 years old. I'm not sure what brought it on but I was certain that I was dying. I had been feeling my heart beating out of my chest, dizzy etc. Went to the hospital, tons of tests, nothing was wrong. They told me I had an anxiety disorder and that if it continued, I would have to consider medication.
I used a lot of Dr. Bach's rescue remedy for anxiety. That seemed to work. I learned just to deal with it. Nearly all of my anxiety stems from a fear of getting a serious disease/dying. I also don't do well with a lot of change. I'm a very regimented individual. I have a few panic attacks a year but now that I know what they are, I just lie down and breathe deeply until they pass and I can convince myself that I am fine.
In the past 2 months, I graduated from college, got married, started my first real job and moved completely away from home. That's a lot of life change, I know. My job isn't turning out what I thought it would be- it's not benefited and my husband and I currently have a short-term insurance policy which is another source of anxiety all on it's own. A month ago, my husband had a flare up of his Ulcerative Colitis and got very sick before getting medicine that worked- another source of anxiety! Two weeks ago, I started feeling nauseated, lack of appetite, change in intestinal tract... All kinds of digestive issues. They have continued.
I went to the Dr. and was diagnosed with a kidney infection- which cost a lot of money to do- anxiety on top of anxiety! I keep waking up every morning 4am, 5am... this is getting ridiculous. I stopped taking birth control pills because I thought they were contributing to the anxiety- can't tell if it's made a difference yet.
I just want to know what I should do. Every pain I have, it's a tumor (in my head). Every weird sensation, it's some other incurable disease. I don't know where this stems from. If I had insurance, I would probably be at the Dr. everyday until someone diagnosed me with something!
I want to feel good again. I don't want to go on meds if I don't have to but I feel really lost right now. My life feels so up in the air- has anyone ever felt like this? What can I do to feel better??
Thanks so much!