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Old 08-13-2007, 03:08 PM   #1
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Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

Hi ...I am hoping to get insight from anyone...I think I may have social anxiety. If there is more than one person in a room i get panicky and feel like I am gonna pee or blankity blank my pants because i get so anxious. If it is close family or it is me and just a couple of people socializing at home I am fine but when it comes to work and meetings I get totally anxious and try everything to get out of going to meetings. It is also for parties at work too...which they have all the time..they find any reason for a party....they cram 50 people in a room meant for 10 and I try and make the party late so i can just stand in the doorway and I am not crammed or cornered in the room and cant get out. Dont get me wrong...I love to bake and bake all the time (cookies, cakes,muffins,etc) and leave all my baked goods in the main lobby for the office to eat and at Halloween or Christmas, Valentines, Easter I but a TON of sweets for everyone to eat and when it comes to when someone has a baby or getting married i will throw in a 10.00 spot when the envelope comes around...I just cant handle being smooshed into small rooms...I cant do it...but NOW...I have been out of work because i had foot surgery and I NEVER RECEIVED ONE CARD from my work to get well....I am totally hurt...cards cost 99 cents...i just cant believe that my work hasnt sent me a get well card...I have been out almost 3 months now...is it because i didnt like going to those parties? It seems or i feel so isolated...I had back surgery in 1996 when i worked at another company and i remember them sending me this HUGE card and all the employees signed it wishing me well....am i the jerk or are they? I dont even want to return to work when the doctor says i can (maybe 2 weeks from now) because I feel so UNWANTED and UNLIKED...please anyone...

 
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Old 08-14-2007, 05:56 AM   #2
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....




Anyone???

 
Old 08-14-2007, 08:41 AM   #3
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

Oh God ...I am a social outcast .............

 
Old 08-14-2007, 08:41 AM   #4
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

It does sound like social anxiety, or maybe you cannot be confined to a small space, either way, have you let your co-workers know that this is a problem and do they know that you always contribute to the on-going events?

I am sorry that they have not sent you a card, seems that no matter what, or how they feel, they should have sent you a get well card and flowers. So I am sending you get well wishes, please feel better soon and don't let anyone keep you from your job, just go back with smiles and be more generous than they have!

Sunny

 
Old 08-14-2007, 10:36 PM   #5
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

Do others around the office recieve cards when they're out of work for awhile? If so, what were some of the reasons they missed work and received cards? Did you send them a card? What kind of personal interactions did you have with your co-workers when you worked there?

This may sound a little crazy, but maybe human nature is at work here. People seem to send cards and feel more sympathetic when they feel like the person has been going through a rough time in their recovery (and maybe you actually have, but they may not think that). They may have this image of you sitting on the couch all day watching tv with your foot propped up, and your snacking on something, while their busy working. Maybe they also can't understand how you could miss so much work with foot surgery (even though your doctor says you can't go back, and your condition actually may warrant not going back sooner - surgery can be tough). Who knows what people are thinking? They tend to think along negative lines. Maybe they assume that others have already sent cards to you, so they didn't bother. Or that a group card was sent to you and they just weren't around when it was time to sign it.

By the way, when you go back (which you should go back if you enjoyed working there), let them know that you have difficulty in the social situations that you named above and you'll be surprised how understanding they'll be. Some of them may feel the same way, which could give you a special kinship with them.

Last edited by ckc27; 08-14-2007 at 10:49 PM.

 
Old 08-15-2007, 12:25 AM   #6
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

I deal with the same things and sometimes have to make up some pretty crazy things to get out of situations. meetings are the worst I think, I'm really bad in the mornings and of course that's when most meetings are.

 
Old 08-15-2007, 06:50 AM   #7
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

Hi...when people are out at my work it could be for a wedding, maternity leave, death in the family, personal reasons like their house burned down... and they ALWAYS do something for someone...usually it is an email sent to all of the office except the person who would be the recipient. Some people know i have panic attacks but i dont think they know how bad. There is another woman out under FMLA because her husband is having a sex change...I am sure no one sent a card to her either. But my situation isnt as odd as that. People at work had seen me struggle with my walker and also I used a wheelchair for long distance travels and they didnt help me they just watched me...I dont have close relationships with these people but I do try to have small conversations with them and i try complimenting people on their kids pictures...I give small gifts if something special is going on with them...i am just not a part of the clicks. I give birthday gifts for my supervisor and Christmas too and i am surprised she didnt initiate sending a card. I feel so messed up if/when i go back. I truly feel isolated.

 
Old 08-15-2007, 02:56 PM   #8
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

Hi...How do you get through them?

 
Old 08-15-2007, 03:00 PM   #9
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

Thank you Sunny....my supervisor had just called today and said she wanted to give me something...I didnt ask what and she asked if my fiancee could pick it up...I will find out tomorrow afternoon what it is....but you know..I am at the point where it was too late...I had been out since MAY...they saw pictures of the hole I had in my foot...they saw me struggle day in and out...they saw me cry...and I feel as if by no one sending me a card prior to this...they had kicked me while i was down...my heart is no longer with the company or at least that office..the company itself did nothing wrong(it is a non-profit) but the peopel that work there are petty and mean...

 
Old 08-15-2007, 07:39 PM   #10
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

Maybe the person who normally sends out the e-mails didn't get around to it for whatever reason. Either way, I bet that if you went back to work and kiddingly mention not getting any cards, you will get some positive responses along the lines of heartfelt sympathy.

At the very least, you should come out of all this being an even more sympathetic person toward others than before, since you have felt the sting of what happened. Always look for the positives, even when there doesn't seem to be any. You'll be obtaining personal growth, while many others are stuck in the same old ruts.

Last edited by ckc27; 08-15-2007 at 07:40 PM.

 
Old 08-17-2007, 07:33 AM   #11
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Re: Do I have social anxiety? Is it me or is it THEM? PLEASE ANYONE ANSWER ME....

Yes, I definetly felt the sting alright. I just spoke to another woman on the phone that works for the same company but in a different department and she had her 50th birthday recently and no one even gave her a card but then the following week was someone elses 50th and they fell all over that woman and made a big fuss. I feel it is all a click thing and its wrong. Like I saids I have been out on disability since MAY and I really dont have any money but am debating on whether to use one of my credit cards to charge some flowers(like daisies or something) to the woman who was ignored...my fiancee will kill me knowing I charged something but like I said I felt the sting of not being acknowledged....people are just so mean....and as for whoever usually coordinated these things at work...they have been in the whole time it is just I am not one of the people with my head up their butt all the time so that is why i have been isolated...

 
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