I am not sure how a doctor would classify me, I have been treated for anxiety, panic attacks and depression- none of which helped at all
I also have been dealing with OCD which is mainly where I think my depression and anxiety come from. Today I feel has been the worst of the worst as I feel so much of my life seems wasted.. anxiety and OCD have taken my life away from me it seems. I feel little to no joy over anything anymore..as if I am just simply existing so to speak.. sure I laugh, but it is always followed by tremendous tears for some reason, which scares me terribly. I often feel as though noone understands me and what I deal with daily. I feel so NOT normal and as a result inadequate.. I so wish I could do what "normal" people do and not worry about every little detail constantly. I wish I could talk to people without my heart racing and sweat dripping from every pore of my body.. Today has hit me hardest as I am 28 and realized today I am so "messed up" I cannot even deal with having an adorable puppy in my home.. It has been a week since I got her and already I feel as though I have lost it. I have been sick (stomach) all week and today dizziness set in... what does this all mean? I realized I now have to give her away which breaks my heart and what makes it worse is that I know it is because of my anxiety and OCD issues. Once again, my stupid mind will not allow me to enjoy or have something in my life I want so much... I am so terribly depressed, I just want to be normal like I used to be. I am not sure why I wrote this except that I needed to let it all out and maybe relieve some burden or to hear that others feel as I do.. any comfort that can be offered would be much appreciated... how do I deal with this? thanks..