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Old 08-20-2007, 05:20 PM   #1
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Unhappy Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

Hi, I have been very shy for years. I'm 23 and a single mum and recently decided to start working at a bar as the hours were convenient for me and i thought it would help my confidence and have now been working there for 7 weeks. I am still a nervous wreck, i don't hardly talk to anyone else who works there. I constantly feel stupid and like everyone is talking about me. I look like i am stupid because my mind keeps going blank because i'm so nervous. I don't understand myself and really don't wanna be like this. To make things worse, my boss called me to the office last week and told me i was too nervous and asked what had done this to me and told me that i might have to leave unless i make an improvement.

This has made me feel worse because when he is there, i feel like i am being constantly watched. I feel so absolutely pathetic because i can't even hold a job down and provide for my son. I just know that if i'm like this for the rest of my life. I have no friends because i don't really talk to other people and i even feel a nervous wreck to go shopping. I feel so hopeless and i feel like a loser. I have made an appointment to see my doctor next week but i'll even feel stupid explaining him, i have nearly cancelled my appointment several times. Am i doing the right thing by going to see my doctor and will he be able to help me at all? Please give me any advice you can cause i need help and i don't wanna live like this anymore. I just wanna be myself and be normal. Thanks. Liana

Last edited by ms_mod; 08-20-2007 at 05:46 PM.

 
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Old 08-20-2007, 07:24 PM   #2
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hotdam HB User
Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

Liana, don't cancel your appt with your doc, you need to at least tell him whats going on so he can diagnose you. Talk to a therapist if you need to. You are certainly not a loser, you may have a phobia (shyness). let us know how it goes.

 
Old 08-21-2007, 12:32 PM   #3
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Therag HB User
Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

Hi Liana. I think your boss was out of order talking to you like that! Talking like that about someone who has anxiety will only make them feel more anxious.

Liana you must go to the Dr! I have wasted years of my life in denial really that I had a problem with anxiety and depression, but I finally had enough and went to the dr for help almost three months ago now. Don't cancel your appointment and don't feel stupid about talking to your dr, there's nothing to be embarassed about; It's no different than going to the dr with a fever. The dr will ask whether you want to be prescribed meds and will refer you to a therapist.

I hope it goes well for you. Let us know how it went

 
Old 08-22-2007, 02:37 PM   #4
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Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

thanks for your replies . I'm going to see my dr on tuesday. I really hope i can overcome this because it is ruining my life. For a long time, i have just tried to accept it and get on with it and just thought i was being "shy" but i know that it is definately more than that. Therag, do you feel any better since seeing your dr?

 
Old 08-23-2007, 10:03 AM   #5
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Therag HB User
Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

Hi. Well the tablets certainly help but therapy is needed to get to the root of the problem. I think I also feel a bit better because I have taken the step of getting help.

Take care
Therag

Last edited by ms_mod; 08-23-2007 at 02:29 PM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

 
Old 08-23-2007, 11:06 AM   #6
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Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

whoa, whoa, whoa.

you're only 23 with a LOT of responsibility. and i imagine working at a bar and having to constantly interact with people to be nerve racking for anyone.

go see a doctor or psychiatrist. hurry. at least try to get some xanax or klonopin or ativan right away so you can keep your job. just explain your situation though. they might not give it to you if you seem to eager. emphasize you need immediate results to keep your job.

then try to find a local phsychiatric center with a sliding scale so you can see a therapist or better a physchiatrist that does therapy (2 in 1).

but you need to meditate, exercise and go get xanax or something right away then work on your long term plan.

 
Old 08-23-2007, 11:09 AM   #7
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Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

the other good news is that anxiety, much more than depression, is VERY treatable relative to other ailments.

so the sooner you get started the sooner you'll have relief. your doctor can give you something that might save your job.

to echo another poster, i think alot of this is shyness. working at a bar would be very hard for ANY shy person. but from the rest of your post i think there is more to it.

 
Old 08-23-2007, 03:00 PM   #8
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Smile Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

thanks for your advice goodintention. I hope my dr gives me something cause i feel like i'm going mad. I'm in tears every night cause i'm so worried about losing my job, it will be so humiliating for me and i'm sure my family will think i'm useless. I'm glad i found this site cause i feel better knowing that i'm not the only one who suffers in this way. My mum suffers from anxiety and depression and takes medication for it, i was wondering, is it possible for it to be inherited? Therag i'm glad tp hear that you're feeling a bit better and i hope you continue to feel better .

Last edited by ms_mod; 08-23-2007 at 04:57 PM. Reason: Replaced text message, chat room word with the proper ones. Please read and follow the posting rules. Ms_Mod

 
Old 08-24-2007, 12:03 PM   #9
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Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

Yes it's very common for depression/anxiety to be inhereted, much like many physical diseases. My mum is depressed a lot of times and used to cry and threaten to take her own life a lot when me and my sister were kids, but she's in denial of the fact and she see's seeking help for depression as weakness. There's a history of mental illness in both sides of my family.

Take care

 
Old 08-24-2007, 01:10 PM   #10
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kingam HB User
Re: Please Help, I Need Advice, I'm A Nervous Wreck

try to lose that hyperawareness of everything going on around you. not everything has earth shattering consequences.

 
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