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Old 09-12-2007, 06:18 AM   #1
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can't deal...

hi all.

i cant deal with this anxiety any more. i just want to snap out of it. i have undergone some major life changes over the past month (quit job, moved home, saw ex boyfriend of over 6 years) and things have been getting progressively worse with my anxiety. over the past two weeks, i eat almost nothing daily. i rely on soda for my energy and only eat when i am forced to. (yesterday i ate a grilled cheese only. the day before i ate 3/4 of a 1/2 of a bagel only, and so on). i wake up each morning with a terrible stomach ache (it's in knots) and i know that it's just this stupid anxiety because i also wake up worrying about not having a real job or my own place or a boyfriend or anything that a 24 year old woman should have. and recently i started liking this guy a lot and he has been acting really weird which is only fueling my problem.

i have dropped about 15 pounds over the last month. everyone keeps saying how amazing i look. it makes me upset because i know i am sufferring all day every day. when i do try to eat i feel really really sick like i am going to have extreme diarrhea or vomiting. this used to happen years ago in college and i would force the vomiting. now i just don't eat instead so i dont have to do that.

has anyone gone through anything similar? i am finding it really hard to draw on my inner strength because i am CONSTANTLY thinking about things --- unless i am really busy at work and can get my mind off of things. ive tried to take on extra shifts so i dont have time to dwell but even if we have a slow moment at work my mind shifts back to churning, churning, churning and my stomach starts burning.

i just want to feel better. im tired of this. i have klonopin that i take but i try not to take it a lot because it makes me kind of spacey and people notice.

also for the past three evenings when i came back home i have broke out in hives all over my body. im not sure if this is related to the anxiety / stress of the day (what my mom thinks it is) or if it is a separate allergy (obviously not a food allergy).

i appreciate any help you guys have as right now this is the only thing i have to turn to.

 
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Old 09-12-2007, 09:18 AM   #2
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Re: can't deal...

hi sorry you are going through all that.I sometimes get the same way as far as the symptoms and many others.I know it sucks and it's hard but do try not to worry so much things will get better for you.You will find work and even get your own place and all those things you desire.You just have to keep going.Would you be able to see a therapist? If not there is also self help books.Try to look at the bright side of things im sure you have good things in your life it can't be all bad.As far as the hives I tend to agree with your mother.I too have broken out in hives all over my torso before and my bottom lip swelled up a few times from hives.I have never been found to be allergic to anything.So I think possibly it is stress.Remember things will get better they always do!

 
Old 09-12-2007, 10:14 AM   #3
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mosesport HB User
Re: can't deal...

Two of the biggest problems I've noticed with your story are probably what's causing a lot of your anxiety. A healthy diet keeps stress away, so not eating is skyrocketing your body into freak-out mode...so PLEASE PLEASE eat something. Your body needs it, as well as your mind. Second, you rely on soda for energy. Caffeine is one of the biggest culprits of anxiety in high-stress people. If anything, it's probably making it worse. Trying drinking some chamomile tea or chai. Start going to the gym. It's a great way to boost your energy and it gets you in shape without having to starve yourself. If the Klonopin makes you too spacy, you could always try Xanax, but I definietly don't condone or recommend that. I've been trying to get off of the stuff for almost a year and it's hell. That's just me though. Everyone is different. Do what you feel is right, but most importantly, take care of your health first. Just some tips.


.moses.

 
Old 09-12-2007, 11:19 AM   #4
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tetianainto HB User
Re: can't deal...

Hi,

I go through similar periods of not eating when I am anxious, so I know what you mean. I lose weight like crazy and everybody says how great I look, meanwhile I feel like I'm dying.....

The only thing that helped me was meds. I took paxil (made me too drowsy), then effexor (too strong), and now celexa - which is just great! I know it's not a solution for everyone, but it can help you pull yourself out of the hole and help you start again.

As for eating - try smoothies (yogurt, fruit and milk in a blender), and I also had some Ensure around. The previous poster was right, you need to eat because you don't want to start getting sick and developing other symptoms and then wondering what they are and freaking out. Then it'll get really rough.

I know how hard it is with all of this......best, c

 
Old 09-12-2007, 11:21 AM   #5
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brandnew1 HB User
Re: can't deal...

I have heard that about the caffeine before so I will try to stop or switch to a soda without caffeine. I have been on Xanax before but the dr was afraid I would become dependent and switched me to Klonopin. Thanks for the help and concern. I'll try to eat something tonight. I feel sick right now.

Last edited by ms_mod; 09-12-2007 at 12:26 PM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

 
Old 09-12-2007, 11:23 AM   #6
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brandnew1 HB User
Re: can't deal...

I have been on Zoloft (gained wight), Paxil (brain zaps) and decided to get off of those dailies. How did you start eating again? I can force myself to eat but then I feel like I'm going to vomit. Also, as sick as this sounds I kind of like losing the weight...

Last edited by ms_mod; 09-12-2007 at 12:27 PM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

 
Old 09-12-2007, 04:00 PM   #7
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tetianainto HB User
Re: can't deal...

Hi, My appetite came back after a couple of weeks on a SSRI.....I know the weight loss has its advantages.....I liked it too. I often think that I looked so good, but felt so awful....how can that be???

Try to eat something small every few hours. The smoothies really work bec you can drink them slowly, so you don't fill up too much, but you have something in your stomach so it's not empty.

c

 
Old 09-12-2007, 04:41 PM   #8
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tetianainto HB User
Re: can't deal...

Hi, Kimmie has got it right.....you need perspective and to start enjoying life. It does all come together, although you can't see it now. Start living slowly and doing things you enjoy...... Now, EAT!!!

best, c

 
Old 09-12-2007, 07:03 PM   #9
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brandnew1 HB User
Re: can't deal...

so funny. i live on dr. pepper and that's about it. just moved back home. i'm 24. are we twins? i want that wonderful career, that great husband and those 2 kids and the house and i dont have any of them. and worse, all of my best friends are getting engaged. thank you for your post, it gives me hope for the future. it really did make me feel good. so everything worked out for you?

Last edited by ms_mod; 09-12-2007 at 07:16 PM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

 
Old 09-13-2007, 10:59 AM   #10
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jlewan01 HB User
Re: can't deal...

I also dont do well on anti-Dep I have been on everyone and just cant handle the side effects! What I found that works for me is Klonopin and Adderall together adderall is an ADD medication but my Dr. says it works well for many with anxiety because it helps their brain to settle down and focus on one thing instead of having racing thoughts of anxiety and all those what if's thoughts many of us with anxiety get! After the weight gain and horrible nightmares I had with and the anti-dep I dont think I will ever try another one!

 
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