Is this normal? - Anxiety Message Board

BoLiao · 09-25-2007, 09:50 AM

I had a very traumatic working experience in a department of my company where I endured daily verbal abuses, non-cooperation of all staff which reports to the bully (same position as me) for more than 8 months. I could not fight back due to the fact that the whole department's staff is under her control. After months of silent sufferring, I started dreading to work everyday and my emotional health got worse and worse. As a worrier, My mind started thinking of how I can ever last a few years working there everyday but I couldn't leave because it would leave a bad record in my employment history as I left my previous company only after 2 years due to the company's financial difficulties.

I started getting serious anxiety as I saw no way out and I became depressed and . I subsequently tendered my notice of resignation without a job in hand and my anxiety and depression even became more severe due to insecurity and very limited savings. I practically went blank for about two weeks and had very bad panic attacks every day.

The higher management offered me a transfer to another department and asked me to retract my resignation letter. They do not know that I am having serious anxiety attacks and am very depressed. Left with no other job options, I accepted their offer and had an immediate transfer.

PROBLEM is I am still feeling very very depressed and every little task overwhelmes me. Everyday, I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown although I am no longer in that department. I really feel very ill and am very nervous and as my immediate superior is also a very difficult person to work with (many have resigned under her management), I am constantly fearful that she will throw me tasks that I cannot accomplish. My legs are very light and I constantly have heart palpitations. At all times, I feel I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and feel like running although what keeps me from doing so is I can't survive without a job. I really do not know what to do. Will my anxiety go away? I don't understand why it still remains when I'm already transferred out. Life is meaningless to me but for my old folks sake, I'm trying to heal myself. Anyone can teach me how to heal my mind? I really don't know what to do.

shorebird · 10-05-2007, 12:59 PM

I hope you are feeling better Bo. Even though I was your only reply here, there are lots of people here who are very supportive.

hotdam · 10-05-2007, 09:49 PM

bo there are many ways to help your anxiety, have you talked to your doctor about this? Shorebird said cbt helped, well everyone has a different approach to anxiety. Talk to your doctor first and see what they say. I hope you feel better soon.

granny0 · 10-06-2007, 04:36 AM

Hey Bo, I agree with the last post. See your doctor. I've suffered from anxiety for yrs and went on Paxil. It definately helped. I was recently switched from Paxil to Cymbalta for major depression and the anxiety attacks are coming back. I know alot of people don't like to take meds, but they do help for alot of people.
JB

kcooke82 · 10-09-2007, 03:37 PM

hey bo your story sounds a bit like mine. back in july i was done college and under alot of stress to find work, which i was not able to, bills started adding up, no money, got my drivers license suspended to add to the stress, and then out of nowhere was hit with an anxiety / depression disorder. months later, even after finally getting a great job that i love, i expected once i started keeping busy the anxiety and depression would go away, but it hasn't. i dreaded going on ant depressants cause of the horror stories i've read but it really isn't so bad after the first few days. right now im on celexa, started at 10mg and was on that for the past month or so, WAS helping but i think due to going out with friends and drinking alcohol too often just a few days ago the meds seemed to have stopped working all of a sudden...i can only assume its because of the alcohol interaction, so i've decided to up my dosage a couple of days ago to 20mg and hope that will help. so far not much help, still have high anxiety and almost 0 appetite (here we go again)

i guess i gotta stick it out and hope the 20mg kicks the celexa back into gear. if not, up to 40mg i go!