I feel anxiety in social situations - Anxiety Message Board

lisa13 · 09-28-2007, 06:07 PM

I'm 22 years old and I think I have an anxiety problem which is beginning to have a serious effect on my life. I'm hoping someone has or had a similar problem and has some tips?

It started when I was younger (about 17) and going out to eat in restaurants all of a sudden I would feel a bit ill. Some times I would be fine and enjoy myself sometimes I wouldn't and I would have to stop eating and concentrate on not being sick. This was irritating but I didn't feel like it was a major problem. But in the last 6 months it's gotten a lot worse.

I withdrew a bit from society. To me going out and getting drunk all of a sudden wasn't fun. So I have a few close friends, work, family, and my boyfriend (who I live with). For my boyfriends birthday I invited some of his closest friends to come out for dinner with us. Before we went when I was getting ready I had a fluttery feeling in my stomach. On the way to the restaurant I got the worst abdominal pains I thought I was going to have to run to the toilets as soon as we got there which would be so embarrassing. I actually got my boyfriend to turn around and drive me home and then go by himself. When I got home the feeling subsided and I was actually fine.

At meetings in work of the more formal kind I have had abdominal cramps or nausea and sweaty hands.

A few weeks later I decided to go out with my boyfriend to a small social gathering at one of his friends houses. I hadn't gone out with him in the weekend with him and his friends for a few years and for months I was feeling guilty about this so I decided to go. I felt ill in the taxi on the way there I guess because it was a taxi I felt I couldn't turn around and go home. When we were there everyone was really nice but I immediately felt ill. I actually threw up in their bathroom within 15 minutes of being there. I had abdominal cramps most of the time and by midnight I asked my boyfriend if we could go. When we got home I had diarrhea.

Tonight we are going out to dinner and the opera with my boyfriend's mother (she bought the tickets). I talked to him about possibly not going because I'm worried about ruining everyones night. He said I should go and not even trying is the beginning of the end. He also said that his mum would be understanding and if anything would be more annoyed and frustrated if I didn't go.

I feel like this is ruining my life. I have gone to dinner with my boyfriend and his mum heaps of times before and sometimes I would be fine and sometimes I would feel a bit ill but now recently the fear has become unmanageable. I have even had a few cramps just typing this out. I did talk to a doctor about it and my mum. Mum thinks it's a lack of self confidence and gave me some Zinc tablets? My doctor took blood and stool samples and suggested eating smaller meals more frequently and ginger or peppermint tea. I feel like it's not *real* help though? I still fear going out.

Sorry for the length of the post.
Can anyone help?

Therag · 09-29-2007, 10:45 AM

You have social phobia/anxiety disorder. I have the same.

conver · 09-30-2007, 06:48 AM

Hey,

When I was 17 (I'm now 28), I had the same thing as you!
I was scared to be around many people etc. I went to the doc and he gave me tablets for my heart ( he thought it was something to do with my heart!) but it was actually anxiety.
Since then, I have had a major nervous breakdown. However, I have recovered FULLY, and feel great now. The main thing is to get the right medication asap.
Back when I was your age, they didnt know/understand anxiety disorders - now they do

I wish you luck - all I can say is that it gets better- Believe me!

granny0 · 09-30-2007, 08:11 AM

Hi, I'm uncomfortable in social situations and can usually only tolerate about 2 hours at parties, etc. before I feel the need to escape. I would suggest an anti-depresant - PAXIL. I took it for a few yrs and it did help with the anxiety. Also was advertised here for social anxiety disorder. I recently switched to another anti depressant because I was going thru a pretty severe deppression. I have noticed that while the new drug has helped my depression, my anxiety has gotten worse. I think I had a full blown anxiety attack at work on Friday when the stress and time pressures got severe.
I am usually fine and out spoken among a few people, but when it comes to office meetings (large group) speaking up is very hard for me to do. I hope you see your dr and at least ask about the Paxil.
JB

JsonB · 09-30-2007, 08:59 AM

Sounds like socio anxiety...

I'm 44 (just turned) and have felt odd my whole life. As a kid I was labeled "shy". As a young adult I discovered alcohol . Now I do not drink . Makes thinks waaay to complicated. I have seen shrinks before but can never be fully open. In fact when I have, it was important to come off totally in control and discuss my problem matter of factly. Very odd. I am a perfectionist and have a great need to be in control. I sense people either take me as stand offish as though I am better than most - which I am -, or simply weird. I've taken paxil, prozac, lexepro and effexor. Non really worked. On paxil, the first two weeks, I had a grin on my face I couldn't get rid of...plus it made me easily angered. Now days I stay home often. I do get out for walks, but up here in minnesota the weather is changing rapidly, so I am spending more time home alone. Actually I have my moments when I can be quite chatty, but there are others when I freeze up and come off as some sort of dork-moron, so even if I did well before, after the dork-moron experience I feel people see me for what I really am and so I no longer go around them. Oddly I love being the center of attention yet dread it to. An awful dichotomy really. I have unregulated ups and downs as well and I tend to go over conversations I may have had and what I could have, or should have said to make myself come off more knowledgeable, or funny. Best of luck you everyone here. We didn't ask for this and it really sux. JsonB