Anxiety/please help - Anxiety Message Board

DeniseB526 · 11-20-2007, 08:48 AM

Where do I start? Iâ€™m new to this board. My name is Denise and I am 31 yr old female from NY. I have suffered from anxiety attacks since junior high school. It got to the point where I couldnâ€™t go to school and they had to home school me. Over the years I have managed. I have to give you some History for you to better understand what I am going through right now. When I got out of High School I started having Seizures. The doctors put me on Dilantin and Depakote to control the seizures. Cat-scans, and EEGâ€™s ruled out Epilepsy and the Dr chalked it up to seizures caused by stress. I have been seizure free almost 6 yrs until last Monday. My driverâ€™s license was taken away and I am going for more tests. That was enough to knock my anxiety levels back through the roof. Then On Thursday my father was diagnosed with Congestive heart failure. Heâ€™s 55 yrs old how could this happen? The Dr put him on meds and advised him to stay in bed. He has another appointment after Thanksgiving. So much is running through my head. I canâ€™t lose my father. I have this feeling like something heavy is just sitting on my chest. I feel like I want to just run and cry. I think about it all day, everyday. Not to mention, I have a 32 yr old brother who is mentally retarded and lives at home with mom and Dad. I promised my parents years ago that I would take care of him god for bid something happen to them. I keep thinking about how I am going to do it. What if I fail him? I REFUSE to allow my brother to going into a home where he knows no one. My anxiety is to the point where I keep looking up my fatherâ€™s condition and thinking the worst. Im so fixated on worrying about the future I canâ€™t concentrate on today. I wish I could just run, anywhere. I cry myself to sleep at night and I really donâ€™t think I can handle anymore bad news. I have been looking up my seizures and what could cause them online and I had to stop myself because I was convincing myself I have a brain tumor that the cats-can couldnâ€™t find it. What can I do? I really could use some advice. I have always been an outlet for my friends to vent to and I would give them advice. I worry about everything and anything. I canâ€™t take hearing anything negative anymore something really tiny affects me like itâ€™s a major problem. My sister was telling me about how rough of a day she had with her toddler and it just made me worry about herâ€¦Whatâ€™s wrong with me?

BeHappy2 · 11-23-2007, 11:12 PM

Denise, hugs to you.
It sounds like your mind is running a mile a minute. Anxiety sure can make a person worry about anything and everthing from small to major. You mention running several times like running away from all. Denise if you are able, run and jog or even walk these frustrations out with deep breaths. Doing this for yourself will ease all your anxiety frustrations. I know, i've been there and done that. This is a bit of advice, i do know where you are coming from.
I've learned to try my best to stay clear from negatives, anything that's going to cause me stress, i stay away from. It's a must for me.
Not knowing any better in my younger years i allowed stress to take over and anxiety set in at a young age for me too. My health has declined quickly , if i could run, walk or jog today i would but i can't.
Sounds like you are a very caring person and concerned for others, please Denise take care of yourself first.

BeHappy2

Kimwwe · 11-24-2007, 12:28 PM

Hi Denise,
Trust me, anyone on this page knows what it's like. I am 41 yrs. old and have had anxiety since high school. I learned to cope most of the time like you said. And another thing, i just got Epilepsy this year! I've had two grand mals and an induced one in the hospital but my brain spikes showed it to be a seizure disorder for sure.
I used to worry all the time like you did. I still do but a lot of times I just get anxiety over nothing. It's always good to know why you have it, at least you can work on those issues. Does you Dad know you're that worried? Maybe talking to him about might help. I am just a high strung person and have problems sleeping. But for some reason, right now, Xanax (anti-anxiety) is the only thing keeping my seizures away (?) sounds weird but now i have nothing that works for anxiety now. I guess over the years I had to tell myself that whatever happens in the future is gonna happen regardless if I worry or not. I never lost of close loved one yet (even at the age of 41) and my parents are in their 70's so now even if I think of something happening to them, I can almost automatically cry but i know it is going to someday and their is nothing I can do. I don't know what I would be like. On top of that, I'm on disability now and have to go back to a stressful full time job after Christmas. Luckily, my husband is supportive. I hope you find someone to talk to or just keep emailing here but don't give into it. It's been a battle for a long time and you can only do it for so long before you realize you can't control some things in the future. Please don't worry too much. Now I'm in Ft. Worth on vacation and have to fly back to Buffalo tomorrow morning early so I am so paniky I won't sleep which can cause my seizure but if it happens it happens.
And jogging or exercise which was also mentioned is helpful too. I have to visualize better things in my head to change my negitive thinking to positive. It actually is starting to work. Anything from fun times in my past to tv shows I like, anything to keep my mind on better things and after a while, it does start to work so try to close your eyes for a few minutes and think of anything nice just to at least calm down for a while. I hope this isn't too long but you will be ok and I know it's been said a billion times, but I tell myself, my body is going to be here regardless is my mind is worriyng or thinking better thoughts. I just had to sink that into my head over and over.