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mochi* · 02-03-2008, 11:54 PM

Hi guys,
I'm not siurwe what to say here, I think I am sorta feeling panicky, so I might not be as eloquent as I would like to be right now.

I've got a bunch of stuff with OCD/anxiety and PTSD that I won't go into right now.

My point is, or my question rather, is that I am expereincing a feeling right now that I get from time to time, a feeling that I forget what it's like until ti resurfaces.

It's this feeling I get, which is usualy percipitated by fatigue, if I am very tiered, or-- sometimes, if I have a hangover and didnlt get accurate rest--

Anyways, I know I'm not making sense, but it's just this general feeling of depression/jitteriness that comes out of nowhere, and I can;t shake it!!!
It's compounded by the fact that I feel really tiered and lonely at night, and it is sort of a haunting feeling becuase I feel very sad, and very physically tiered, but instead of beign relaxed and just goig to be bed, my anxiety level jumps, and I can;t rest, or even sit still really without getting this sad/empty feeling, which is immediately met with anxiety, and the cycle goes like this until I can finally calm down enough to got bed.

Arrggg...

wHAT is this?? It feels like a ball of anxiety and depression, and I don;t know what to call ti or do about it!!

any ideas????

shineON · 02-04-2008, 11:45 AM

I think I have felt similiar to you. I will feel very low, yet still anxious. I don't know if it is something that will happen, regardless of what I try to "fix" within myself. Or if it is coming from my daily struggles which I still have not overcome.

Are you taking any medication?

mochi* · 02-04-2008, 05:03 PM

no medication, i am prescribed xanax for nitetime panic/insomnia.
I just started a new job today, so that could have been part of it, I sort of have this weird anxiety/phobia of having insomnia, (If that makes sense) I am afraid of not being able to sleep, especially if I have a big thing the next day (like a new job) or have to get up early (which for me is anything beofre 10, I am a nite owl, but my new job does not allow for that)
I also am in a weird place, becuase I jus quit a job I hated, and felt so relieved/clear-headed and rested for a week that I had off, but truthfully, I am not that excited about my new job, and have this anxiety about sleep, so that could have accounted for a lot of my weird feelings yesterday.
They have carried over into today, becuase I could not sleep (even though I felt calm, I thought) until 3:30 am I finally took some xanax.
So, now I feel extra bad becuase I am exhausted and had my first day and feel stressed out,m exhausted, sad and anxious all at once!!
I also got an email from my ex that is not helping!!
But i am sick of feeling this way, any time (in the last 4 years) that I have abig thing(even not that big) to do coming up, I get all crazy anxious and don;t sleep, adn feel edgy all the time.
Arrrggg!!!
What am i supposed to do if I can barely keep a job, cause I can;t relaz enough to sleep???

shineON · 02-12-2008, 04:20 PM

That certainly is a tough place to be. What are you doing to take care of yourself? Eating well? Working out? Meditating? It is crucial to do good things for self, paritculary when you find yourself in less then satisfactory situations(like a poor work environment).

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