Anxiety? Something else?
I have a 14 year old neice who has an unbearable personality.
Neice is being treated w/zoloft for anxiety. Therapist said no signs of bipolar.
Does a person with anxiety and seperation issues become combative, screams, yells and has temper tamptrums until it goes out of her system?
It gets worse and worse with time. Holidays are a nightmare.
She is mean, cuts you up and then says "only kidding". She has few friends. I think this is why but her mother thinks this behavior is only at home. An example of her behavior is, she is on the phone and will walk into the livingroom while I am visiting. I am engrossed in a conversation with her mother or sister. She is laughing and talking on the phone but when she gets off, she goes off. Screaming how rude her sister and mother was talking while she was on the phone. Her chest goes out, she gets real close up and yells.
My niece is small for her age, hasn't hit puberty yet, it isn't PMS.
She has seperation issues and gives my sister trouble going to school. (Thats a whole different story). When my niece is home, my sister is not allowed to go anywhere without her. (NOT allowed, literally). If we go to the store and she sees something she wants and you say no, she screams and carrys on almost to hysteria <BECAUSE> no one loves her. If my sister buys something for my other niece it is chaos.
I love my sister to death, literally. We have mentall illness in our family but this one is out of control. My sister can't even go walk in the summer <WITHOUT> her. She walks infront of us inbetween us to the point of tripping over her and she doesn't allow you to talk. If you say wait we were talking she starts screaming, carrying on, crying, "fine, don't talk to me", "you hate me", "I hate you", everyone turns around, its embarrasing.
Yesterday my two sisters and I met at the mall, first time in over 5 years. We talked all afternoon. It was great. But my niece was mad my sister was out, called her, quizzed her and probably berated her. My sister said next time we come, I have to bring her along, she has anxiety and seperation issues.
I don't want to go to a mall with my niece. Not only will she make sceneS but when she decides she wants to go home, you HAVE to go HOME.
What do I say to my sister to let her know it isn't ok to bring her because of her behavior.
Hi Cram: Please don't be offended, I'm only going to say this, because I've seen this type of behavior before. (in my own niece, actually)
In my niece's case, my sister-in-law coddled and bought into her behavior constantly. This child was (and to some extent, still is) a nightmare. I love her very much and also love my S-I-L, but nobody could stand to be around this little girl.
When a child behaves badly, to get what they want, and are given their way over and over again, they will always continue to do it. It's kind of like the old saying "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". She's obviously learned that all she has to do is rant, rave and cry and everyone will just give her what she wants. I guess in old fashioned terms, one would say, she's just very spoiled.
You said she has separation issues. My niece did too, because from the time she was a toddler, her parents would sneak out of the house all the time to avoid having to see her fuss a little. All children do that when they are little, but the worst thing you can do is sneak out. That really scares the child and makes them feel betrayed.
I see so many parents, today, worrying about "upsetting" their child. They say they can't bear to see the child in distress. If children aren't given the chance to learn how to cope with day to day realities, such as a parent going off to work or to the store, how do the parents ever expect that child to deal with the real world?
Anyway, enough of my own little rant. There is help. My niece and her parents are now in counseling. They see a family therapist, who specializes in these sort of issues. They are all slowly learning. The child is learning that she needs to accept that the world doesn't revolve around her, and the parents are learning that the world will not end if their daughter doesn't get her way.
I hope this helped a little and I hope you can feel comfortable discussing this with your sister. Feel free to show her what I wrote, if it helps. Good luck to you all and I hope things get better for everyone concerned. cmpgirl