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Old 03-24-2008, 02:01 PM   #1
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Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Hi All, I am new to this forum. Like many, I suffer from anxiety. It has been about two and half yrs, since I've been an anxiety sufferer. As you all are aware of we were so shocked with this first happened to us and thought we were going crazy. You've all know the symtoms and stories, so I will speed up. I'm here because i'm seeking help and understanding. I was seeing a therapist the first year, but pulled away when I thought I was getting better, likewise, i didn't think the therapist was helping, so I thought I'd cope with it myself. Well, it's been a 1 1/2 hr since I stop and now has scheduled to go back, since my anxiety is getting worst. I swear I can't get a minute to focus and to try to control this damn thing. Lately, it's been more of the intrusive thoughts that have been troubling me and then causing my anxiety or panic attacks. Life has become a struggle for me everyday in trying to cope with these thoughts and feelings I now go through. Somedays, I just don't know what to do or where and who I can get help. I notice when I'd tell others of some of the things I was feeling or thinking I was able to then feel better, but there are those bizzarre thoughts and feelings for which I cannot tell anyone because I'm afraid they would look at me like I'm crazy or derange. The idea of going crazy of feeling like an evil person are what scares me more. It totally makes me to be anything, but the real me. I've always considered myself to be a God-fearing man who is quite practical, but lately, I've been doubting that because of these current feelings and conditions I now go through. Like I have stated i'm unable to talk to anyone of these things because of fear of how they may perceive me. Please help, I have tons more of things to say.

 
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Old 03-24-2008, 08:07 PM   #2
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

You are not crazy or derranged, I am sorry the therapist did not help, are you taking any medication? I have been suffering with the same anxiety issues as you are for the past year and a half. Without the medication I dont know what I would do. I have some normalcy in my life but wish It was without meds. Yes the intrusive thoughts are the worst but try to think about something happy put yourself in a happy place I know it is hard but try it it may help. We are here for you. We do not think your crazy.

 
Old 03-25-2008, 12:45 PM   #3
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Hi notmade, welcome and keep talking.....

 
Old 03-26-2008, 10:15 AM   #4
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Thank you for commenting. This really does help to know you're not alone. I've never thought I'd be part of any support group, due to an illness, but I can't fight it anymore. I do have a problem. I've been trying hard to cope with this problem and believe me it's been hard. Life has changed a lot for me. I no longer do certain things or watch some t.v. shows I use to love watching, since I'm afraid it may strike up my anxiety. It has been the pits, but I'm dealing. The worst, as I have stated, are the periodic intrusive thoughts. But realizing after reading others' post is having me to believe I'm not crazy, but merely experiencing some of the signs of GAD. I have two major intrusive thoughts that have been troubling me. The ladder came about two weeks ago and already it has thown me off. let me say I'm embarrassed and scared to even share it. At time when I thought I had a good handle and out of nowhere comes something new to make life more miserable. This is where I thought I was going crazy. I'm like I'm fine one minute and next minute I'm asking myself where the hell this thought or feeling came from. So far, it's been a struggle for me, especially in the morning when it's time for me to go to work. I know as time past by I will not think about it, but at the moment it's difficult.

Last edited by ms_mod; 03-26-2008 at 10:25 AM. Reason: Removed banned word. If a word (letters in this case) come up like this ** in your post, they are banned on this website.

 
Old 03-26-2008, 10:25 AM   #5
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by hotdam View Post
You are not crazy or derranged, I am sorry the therapist did not help, are you taking any medication? I have been suffering with the same anxiety issues as you are for the past year and a half. Without the medication I dont know what I would do. I have some normalcy in my life but wish It was without meds. Yes the intrusive thoughts are the worst but try to think about something happy put yourself in a happy place I know it is hard but try it it may help. We are here for you. We do not think your crazy.
Thank you for reading and commenting. I really needed some avenue such as this to speak out some of the thoughts and feelings I was experiencing. It makes it that more difficult when you feel you cannot share with someone some of the fears and thoughts that are going on in your head, fearing that they may look at you weird or crazy, but having thus far reading and seeing some of the similar stories it makes me feel somewhat normal to know that I'm not alone. Thanks.

 
Old 03-26-2008, 11:04 AM   #6
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Nobody on this board thinks you are crazy or deranged . Many of us have or had the same feelings as you . ( like this morning when my husband was leaving for work , I have having a major panic attack ) I couldn't tell him because he doesn't understand , I was so scared to be alone , I didn't want him to leave me here alone . I am very good at hiding my feelings . My anxiety is worse in the morning . My intrusive thoughts always hit me in the middle of the night , wake up with heart pounding out of my chest , and then the ( what ifs ) comes in . I want to run away and hide . But i managed to pull myself together somewhat . Knowing that I am not alone and I have somewhere to go and share my feelings has been a Godsend to me . I don't post much but i am usually here . Sometimes I wish we had a chat room to go too , but is probably better to remain anyomous (ms) . So I guess what I started out saying was , if you need to (talk) about your fears or feeling or just unload , this board is a great place with many wonderful people .

 
Old 03-26-2008, 12:35 PM   #7
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Old 03-26-2008, 12:37 PM   #8
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by ammy05 View Post
Nobody on this board thinks you are crazy or deranged . Many of us have or had the same feelings as you . ( like this morning when my husband was leaving for work , I have having a major panic attack ) I couldn't tell him because he doesn't understand , I was so scared to be alone , I didn't want him to leave me here alone . I am very good at hiding my feelings . My anxiety is worse in the morning . My intrusive thoughts always hit me in the middle of the night , wake up with heart pounding out of my chest , and then the ( what ifs ) comes in . I want to run away and hide . But i managed to pull myself together somewhat . Knowing that I am not alone and I have somewhere to go and share my feelings has been a Godsend to me . I don't post much but i am usually here . Sometimes I wish we had a chat room to go too , but is probably better to remain anyomous (ms) . So I guess what I started out saying was , if you need to (talk) about your fears or feeling or just unload , this board is a great place with many wonderful people .
Thank you. The latest intrusive thought I'm battling is the idea of me on the train. I've been taking the train to work or school all my life, but in the last two week I've been frightened to get on the train fearing that something terrible may happen. I'm not worried of the train crashing or getting stuck on the bridge or tunnel, but possibly worst. This thought came to me about 1 1/2 week ago and it has gone over in my mind non-stop. This simple what if has thrown me off again right when I was starting to enjoy myself again. I swear why does my mind wants me to be a prisoner. I'm such an outgoing person, but have had a serious dark cloud over these last few days. Since then, my anxiety has gone up 80%, especially in the morning when it's time for me to make my commute to work. I've already find altenate steps to going to work, but feel like I'll just be running from the problem. Right now, thoughts are raising to my head, since it's only a couple of hours left before my making my commute home. Crazy, isn't it? I'm so annoyed right now I'm asking myself how I'm gonna get over this one.

 
Old 03-26-2008, 03:14 PM   #9
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

You know I'm probably not the best one to give advise , but I have been thier ( not on a train ) but having the same fear . It's not fun . I could not be in an enclosed space like shopping malls , in my car in a traffic jam ect. From my experience its the loss of control you feel . I don't want to support you going on meds if you don't want too , there is know shame in realizing that maybe they might help . Sometimes we just can't do it on our own . I didn't want to go back that route , but I did and it does help . Some people think ADs or anti-anxiety meds make you " high " when you really need them they make you feel NORMAL again . Don't know if anxiety makes you depressed or depression makes you have anxiety Hang in there .

 
Old 03-26-2008, 05:10 PM   #10
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

You know all of us who suffer from severe anxiety have had the intrusive thoughts. You are not alone. I've had my share. I really believe the intrusive thoughts are scaring you and that is why you are having them. When we are under a severe amount of anxiety out minds do incredible things to protect us. Sometimes they are not always pleasant. These intrusive thoughts are your mind's way of not thinking about what is truly bothering you. You are not alone. You are not going crazy. You are normal and a member of the growing American society that suffer from anxiety disorders. Just know that this is not a permanent condition and will get better. I would suggest going to your family doctor and getting some help with medication. Medication can help you - either AD or antianxiety medication. I take Paxil and it has helped me with my anxiety disorder. I've had anxiety and did not take any drugs in the beginning and it took me longer to feel normal again. When I took medication I started feeling normal again within 4 weeks. I hope you seek help from your family doctor soon. Best wishes!

 
Old 03-26-2008, 09:29 PM   #11
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Maybe you need to be on medication. I have had anxiety and panic attacks for 6 years now. I have been able to live a normal life on medication. I take Celexa. I works great. I have Xanax for when I have panic attacks. Anxiety is a chemical imbalance in your brain that you have no control over. Medication really helps. It has done wonders for me.

 
Old 03-27-2008, 10:31 AM   #12
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

<<<<THIS MIGHT HELP... SHOULD READ>>>>

I was just skimming through this site due to another medical issue when I come accross this thread.
I remember what a nightmare anxiety is, how it effects your life, how you rush yourself to emergency rooms with panic attacks, how docs prescribe valium and anti depressants which have an adverse reaction of causing anxiety.
I was 20 years old working for high preassure stock market company when it first hit me. and it hit me hard.
Bad thoughts, fear to leave my house, sweaty palms and even had ambulance guys breaking down my door due to a panic attacks.
I suffered a nightmare on and off for 5 years with periods where I was just dazed.
I tried valium which made it worse, I tried beta blockers which only gave me messed up dreams..
I am now 27 and cured from anxiety. YES NO MORE ANXIETY.
I decided to take the trouble to write this post, because I wish someone had taken the time to write one for me to read..
I understand what the previous post JAILY is saying but I totally disagree..
This might not work for everyone but I beleive very strongly that it is the only cure..
There is a method called the Lyndon Method.
Anyway I will explain here as best I can what it is..
It is based on the fact that Anxiety is not a chemical imbalance (which I agree with)
Anxiety is a learnt response, if you repeat your actions over and over your brain remembers and repeats.
Everyone has the in built flight or fight response which is totally natural.
Fear is a natural response, anxiety is just fear when there is no reason for it.
Post traumatic stress is similar, something puts you such a state of fear that your brain keeps repeating it after the cause has gone.
Basically you have trained your body to create fear based on your thought processes, its the wrong thought processes that spirals and feeds your anxiety.
The symptoms created from anxiety, the sweaty palms, change in breathing make you create more bad thoughts which increase the anxiety, you start thinking do I need to go to hospital and very soon you are there..
Anyway the way I found to cure myself 100&#37; from anxiety is to believe 100% that the cause is anxiety and that it can not harm me.
No one has ever died from a panic attack, you simply train your mind to dismiss the feelings of anxiety.
Basically the mind is a very powerful thing and you have trained your mind to create fear based on certain thoughts.
Simply change your thoughts, the very fact that your hear reading this is manifesting your negative thoughts.
Im not saying dont use this site because it seams great and I found some great info on my other medical issue.
But your here reading this because you think something is wrong with you, it is that thought that is creating the anxiety.
In this post it may seam that Im telling you what to do, its not the case its more the fact that if your going to try this there is no beating round the bush,, there is no grey area you need to believe it for it to work.
You simply need to 110% believe that yes you have anxiety, no it cant hurt you, no you dont need to research further, no you dont need to seek reasurance as these things feed the bad thoughts.
You have convinced yourself that something is wrong with you, so your mind has made it true.
Anyway I really hope this helps, as I said I went through a nightmare and fixed it, Im posting this in the hope it helps others.
One last thing that gave me instant releif, if you know how to find and ******** things of the internet, find an mp3 on the net that is self hypnosis for anxiety or relaxation.
Remember your thoughts are creating the anxiety, fill yourself with thoughts that everything is ok, totally convince youself that this will work and your brain will believe it.
Good luck, any question or results please post. I will watchout for it..

Last edited by morpheous; 03-27-2008 at 10:01 PM. Reason: If you know a word is questionable enough that you must edited it, then please don't use that word at all.

 
Old 03-29-2008, 04:06 AM   #13
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

My experience with an anxiety disorder (not panic attacks) began nearly 20 years ago. When I finally was diagnosed with the disorder, the doc prescribed Prozac 20mg. It took quite a while to really get in my system, but gradually the anxiety improved to the point that I rarely had any flare-ups. Your symptoms of intrusive thoughts really caught my attention because I suffered with that problem also. It's as if you know the thoughts are ridiculous, but you just can't turn them off. Some of my thoughts were also embarrassing so certainly did not want to share them with anyone. I began to call them my "what if" or "what if I were to..." thoughts. Until reading the previous posts, I guess I thought only I suffered from "what if" thoughts. Just to let you know and to reassure you, when the Prozac kicked in and helped my brain, the "what if" thoughts virtually disappeared. I later learned these meds are known for helping that part of anxiety. I was on Prozac for 16 years and had a few bouts once in awhile, but not nearly like when first diagnosed. The Proz finally stopped working unfortunately. Now on Effexor XR and a sm. amt. of Xanax. The Effexor also has kept the intrusive thoughts under control. BTW, the anxiety disorder I suffer has been diagnosed as quite severe, very crippling at times. Check with your doc if your symptoms continue. He/She would be the one to decide if you need medication. Hope this helps.
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Old 03-30-2008, 08:50 PM   #14
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

Hey,

I'm in your boat. I've been dealing with my more serious anxiety issues for less than 2 years now. I stopped seeing a therapist because things were going well and now things are not going so welll. I also have intrusive thoughts. Mine are more about me harming myself. And they are truly scary! If its something that you fear you may do, its definitely anxiety. Talking to a therapist helps because they can help you see that it is truly anxiety and make you think of the thoughts in a different way instead of letting them get you all riled up. I think I may take my own advice and start getting therapy again
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Old 03-31-2008, 09:08 PM   #15
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Re: Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts

When I shared some about intrusive thoughts with an excellent psychologist I have been seeing on and off for years, he told me that people who suffer with anxiety over fears of what they may do (what-if thoughts) are less likely to do them than people who never had the thoughts. I don't know about anyone else, but that really made me feel better, and after all these years I can say I never acted on any of the thoughts. They finally almost completely went away with medication. It's a shame that these disorders can't be completely eliminated from us, but thankfully they can be relieved for a time.
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