freedom2dream

mine as well start from the beginning. i've always been an anxious person, even as a child. always worried i was going to hell, mom was going to die, i was going to die...yeah no. i had my first panic attack at 15 (i'm 20 now). my anxiety got worse as time went by. my senior year i moved from texas to oklahoma. my anxiety hit a high and i went to the hospital sure i was dying on more than one occasion. i've tryed all different kinds of medication and i just don't do good on them. i worry to much. think i am getting all the side effects. i've been on message boards before for this: {REMOVED}

anyways, i've got anxiety and panic disorder. i had a psych eval a while back and he thought it was more of pstd. i have alot of things that have happened that pop into my mind and get me all depressed and stuff.

so, about me...i worry about everything. like tonight i have this horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen. 122112, nuclear war, end of the world, global warming, hell, death...i freak out majorly everytime it storms <BECAUSE> i think a tornado is going to come and even though i am ten times better than i was a one point, i still have yet to put the lid on this anxiety of mine. getting my faith back has helped tremendiously though.

i'm just scared. i worry about things that alot of people my age don't. i can't shut my brain off. it just keeps going. i have never been to official counseling though i know i should. i think anyway.

i am in college . i'm working on my b.a. right now. i want to change the world. but i can't even hold down a job <BECAUSE> i get all anxious and decide i don't want to be there so i quit. i have never had a job 6 months. my longest job was 5. i'm kind of a mess. thank God i have a good husband that takes care of me....