Hello,
I'm quite new to this so please bear with me. I'm 22 and for about 7 years now I've been suffering with migraines and dizziness where my vision tilted almost upside down to the right. It came back every few months and stayed for various amounts of time. Doctors had told me in the past that this was due to viral infections. It got quite bad at the end of last year and I saw a neurologist early this year who diagnosed me with complicated migraine.
I have yet to be diagnosed properly with PTSD. Due to this complicated migraine illness I was unaware of, I carried on with life as normal...that was until last September (07). I had a spell of severe dizziness and fell hitting my head on a sharp post in a restaurant and cut my head open. Luckily after stitching me up and scanning me they said at the hospital that there was no serious damage.
However when I tried to carry on as normal and go out alone etc I started to panic. When I attempted to leave the house alone I would feel faint, feel hot and would tremble - fearing that I would go dizzy outside and/or fall again. After a few weeks of trying to get back to normal I felt unable to do so and only went out when someone was with me. I could go anywhere so long as I weren't alone. I started depending more on my partner and realised quickly that I only felt safe when I was going places indoors or outdoors with him. Being in denial that anything was wrong with me and dismissing the idea of having anxiety/PTSD and passed it off and carried on depending on my partner.
Slowly as the months have passed on I'm getting more and more scared about going out even with my partner. The number of places I feel comfortable visiting have reduced a lot and I only feel completely safe at home. Even in the places "we" visit, I get agitated easily - feeling uncomfortable, I panic and start planning what i would do if something would happen, then I cling to my partner or hold tightly onto something just incase. I just feel like I'm losing control over my life and get upset often because I just want it to be how it was before without being scared of being outside alone for 5 minutes.
I last saw my doctor in March and explained how I felt. She said that the waiting list to see psychologists/psychotherapists were a couple of years and she recommended self-help books on CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) instead. But, unfortunately for me, they haven't done me any good and I'd still like to see a psychologist.
I'm sorry for the extra long message, I really needed to write all of this down to get it out of my system, for people to read who understand where I'm coming from. There are probably details that I have missed but this gives a general idea.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
Takecare
