Struggling with anxiety - Anxiety Message Board

yvette32 · 11-13-2008, 01:29 PM

Hi I have been struggling with anxiety ever since I was a little girl but it has gotten worse these past 5 years. I used to work and go everywhere but now I can't even step outside my door. My greatest fear is that someone will see me having an anxiety attack and think that I am crazy which is why I choose to stay at home and away from my family and friends. No one understands and I do not know what to do. I have other symptoms also that have gotten worse. I have trouble sleeping and eating, I have lost about 25 lbs. and I just cannot stop worrying and thinking all kinds of negative thoughts. I have tried medications in the past but they made me feel worse. I am wondering if anyone is going through the same thing. I also wanted to know if anyone knows of any medications that do not have bad side effects. The medication that I was taking before worsened my anxiety and made me feel depressed. Any comments would be greatly appriciated. Thank You

ms_mod · 11-13-2008, 01:56 PM

Please note that your thread has been moved here to the main Anxiety Board.

Ms_Mod

TEdds83 · 11-13-2008, 09:24 PM

Hi Yvette! Bless your heart. I want you to know you are not alone. I have had panic/anxiety disorder since I was a young girl. I have had periods in my life where I have done real well. And also had some real dark times too. I am in a dark one right now. I call it the big black hole. It's all negative thinking. I am thinking of quitting my job because sometimes I wonder if I can get to it.

I work with 3rd graders. Alot of my anxiety has to do with health issues. I got a cold when school first started from the kids. Now a month ago I got a cold from the kids again. This time here it is a month later and I am still sick with a nagging cough. The kids keep passing it around the room. Once it made its way through the class...it has started all over again. Now the teacher is sick. She has the same cough I have been struggling for weeks with. It just gags me. I hate being sick! I am angry that I am at a job where I am exposed to so man germs and virus's. I gave my notice. I said I would be gone at Christmas vacation. I feel like I am dying. I have never struggled so much to fight all these virus's and bacteria. This isn't for me! It feeds my fears and anxiety.

You see I am always afraid of catching things and never getting better, I am afraid of getting cancer, and dying, and flying in a plane. The list could go on and on. But I can't let this ruin my life. Neithor can you. This is no way for us to live. I would give anything to find a support group I could attend. If you were my neighbor we could help each other. I don't want to see you locked up in your house. It's not good when you get to the point of not sleeping or eating. I have been there. I had to go on anto depressants and xanax. The drugs were hard to get used to. That was back in 2000. They helped me and got me through back then. But I tried to start them this past spring but one day on them and I thought I was going crazy. I am also afraid of taking medication. I just need therapy don't I?

I just want you to know you aren't alone. I have been praying and asking for God's help. I just know He will hear me and help me through this. And you too!
I think alot of the problem is the "what if" thinking. It's hard to get away from that pattern. Just know you aren't alone. You can talk to me anytime.