feel like im at the end. help - Anxiety Message Board

dvlsfan30 · 01-18-2009, 08:16 AM

really. im 19 years old and i feel like im dieing. the worst 2 months of my life. my social life has been ruined because of anxiety and panic disorder. ive had 3 ekgs a ultrasound of my stomach, rectal exam, full blood work through my moms doctors office and a physical.blood pressure everything all normal. im 5'7 120lbs. all tests came back normal for everything.i been having pains all around my chest back and abdomen, muscle weakness, cant sleep and a change in bowel movement. every morning it starts off every morning now i get the feeling of bowel movements and after about 30 minutes i can go. most of the time i go. and occasionally throughout the day and night it will happen where i go a little bit. its not diahhria but alot of the time it just doesnt look normal and sometimes it is which scares me.i yawn so much throughout the day like im tired but most of the time im not tired at all. im told that i have somatization disorder that is causing all this which is causing severe anxiety to me thinking im dieing. sometimes my muscles are weak and sometimes i just dont want to get up to go out. i am convinced that i have cancer or m.s. for some reason. ive just been put on lexapro 5mg a day for 5 days so far and klonopin .5 mg twice a day to help me but i feel nothing from either of the medications besides some of the pain going away. i still get chest pain and my bowel function hasnt improved much. i see a therapist but these thoughts are always in my mind. <I DON'T KNOW> what to do anymore. none of the tests are giving me reassurance that im ok even though all the doctors said i dont need any mri's because i am fine. school starts in 2 days and im going crazy. all im lookin for is some reassurance or anyone going through the same symptoms. its killing me inside.

ZissouDoll · 01-20-2009, 10:29 AM

Hey, i am sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. I am around your age and know how hard anxiety can be and how it ruins <YOUR> social life. while my friends are out having a social drink, i am at home as alcohol makes my anxiety worse and i find going out in town at night quite stressful.

From what you have said, having all those tests, it looks like you are healthy. Anxiety can play horrible tricks on you and make you think you have something physically wrong with you when you don't. i've lost how many times i've thought i had physical illness. after i have a episode of anxiety i feel really tired and just want to sleep and don't want to go out. i've thought the same as you about having m.s. and cancer.

as tough as it is, you have to realise that these feelings and thoughts are purely a result of anxiety. you are the only person that can stop them. its not the power of anxiety but the power you give the anxiety. if you think "i'm going to feel anxious" or "i'm not going to feel well" then its highly likely that you will feel anxious and unwell. it's a vicious cycle. i think therefore i am. but by undetstanding and accepting this, you can start to help yourself.

i've dealt with anxiety for 5 years and the majority of the time i am fine (although its never fully gone) and i live my life but i have days/weeks when it plays up. i just stay strong, get through it and it gets better.

right now they are playing up and i have a routine eye test (i just like to be reassured that i dont have a brain tumour) and a foot appointment. i find these both quite stressful and as much i would like to cancel them both, i love the feeling of knowing that i did it and stayed strong. i'll let <YOU> know how i get on.

hope this helped

don't hestitate to post and i will do my best to help. i know how lonely it can be. xxxxxx

Bryan1844 · 01-24-2009, 08:16 AM

I know what your going through. Im 28 years old and I have done everything you have. Ive had ekg's, echocardiograms, bloodwork, etc. Ive been dealing with this since I was 14 years old. There are times when I have bouts that are tough to deal with and then there are years I will go without anxiety. Ive thought I had a brain tumor, heart condition, cancer, you name it I though I had it. Ive been doing well for a few years now and just with in the past month or so my anxiety has come back. Iv been to my M.D and had tests done again but I always feel like they dont take me seriously and are missing something. I am now also seeing a psycologist which seems to help me out. She is really easy to talk to, that is the hardest part is finding one you feel comfortable with. I know what you mean when you say you think its the end. Whenever I have a panic attack I also feel like im gonna die. I know exactly how you feel to a t and it is no fun. Ive lost my appetite and have changes in bowel movememnts as well, which has lead to me now thinking I have stomach cancer or something along those lines....its like a never ending cycle, once you get confirmation that one thing is healthy then you move to the next. It sucks, I know and I try not to let it effect my everyday life but unfortunatly it does. Hope this helped you out a bit and if you have any questions dont hesitate to ask

dvlsfan30 · 01-24-2009, 06:19 PM

yea its been pretty bad
im glad you guys replied. my gf just broke up with me too so it sucks.
alot of the pain has gone away but theres still some occasional pain through the day.
the past few days i have several bowel movements in the morning and cant sleep at night. its been 2 weeks and still waiting on this lexapro and klonopin. i want to feel healthy like my therapist says but with these problems its just soo hard.