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Old 02-27-2009, 04:22 PM   #1
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Exclamation anxiety getting in the way of living my life.....what can i do??? at wit's end!!!!

Hello.
I am a little sad to be writing on here again...
I do so love this website, but had mistakenly thought I would not need to be writing on here for advice for a long time....
I thought I had finally found a way to cope with my anxiety/depression--keep it at bay.
But now I am facing some major life-changes and an injury....Besides the injury and being recently unemployed (sort of by my choosing, and sort of a good thing, but bad financially) besides these things these life changes are probably very good for me...I am looking at moving and starting anew, with my new attitude, looking towards the future and doing some planning and working towards my goals, and trying to find what makes me happy...As opposed to the very stuck, very bored, very understimulated, lonely place/lifestyle I have accured the past 2 years....
Well, I have adopted this lifestyle of mediocrity and stagnency precisely because I was either too anxious/depressed and could not focus/motivate/have fatih enough to get out of my circumstance, or because I was feeling ok--STABLE--(but not happy or fullfilled, mind you) and was trying to avoid aggravating my anxiety by making the changes I NEED to make.
So, after nearly 7 months of intensive therapy (by intensive I mean twice a week and a lot of self-help books) I thought I was ready and NEEDING to make some changes..and here I am doing so...thinking I had learned better ways to cope with/squash the anxiety I feel SO TERRIBLY when making change...
You see, making changes, feeling like I am leaping into the unknown makes me very nervous because I have a false notion that I am totally alone and I get so overwhelmed by anxiety I can't think straight, eat, sleep or function sometimes....Why...???I have not completely figured this out yet...My Dr. seems to think I have some sort of residual anxiety/trauma from having been adopted/sepratated from my birth-mother...who knows at this point....
Anyways....I am SO frustrated because I am talented, intelligent, driven, passionate, energetic, dynamic person when I am feeling good...and I believe I can accomplish a lot in my life....IF I COULD ONLY STOP BEING SO DAMN NERVOUS!!!
So, here I am, having decided it is SERIOUSLY time for some SERIOUS changes and I feel terrified....and the anxiety is back and I cannot really reason with it, if I can, it takes all my time and energy just to do so---and so I cannot focus or get the work done that I need to to make these changes, find a new job so I can eat, etc.....
AHHHHHHH!!
I'm sorry if this makes no sense. I am just so frustrated and at my wit's end because I have tried sooo many avenues to cope or avoid this thing. I am tiered of it getting in my way of living my life and being me@!!!!
Even when I feel ok (mentally) I sleep very heavily, but awake not feeling rested, I am lethargic, I grind my teeth HARD at night, and I keep waking up DRENCHED in sweat. What is going on???? I know I am fine, and can get through these changes if I could just relax and focus, but I cannot!!! It takes up all my time just managing my anxiety, and so I am so draineed/afraid/unfocused/ill that I cannot do what really needs to be done--it's like i am just surviving, barely!!!
I want to evolve, but anxiety gets in my way whenever I make change. I have lost my appetite the past few days, and even if I hungry, when I try to eat I feel like i am going to throw up--everything makes me nauseaus.
So--
I have had enough! This is not going to rule my life anymore!!!
But what can I do, if I become so dysfunctional and cannot even concentrate or eat!!!???
I am consdiering medication, very bregrudgingly...but i do not know what else to do anymore....
I try meditation, therapy, exercise, diet, vitamins, yoga/...and they all help, but only to manage it just enough to be ok....but not when it get this bad....and I cannot afford constant self-maitenence---it is like I am constantly having to babysit myself....how will i ever advance, get a carreer, go to grad school, travel, if I can hardly get through the day?????
So, I guess my questions are:
can anyone relate?
Do you have any idea what my problem is?
How can I resolve the problem of not being able to eat--cause this just makes the anxiety/dysfunction that much worse!!!
Has anyone had similar type of anxiety...what has worked for you??what allowedyou to finally move forward and live your life?
have you had any success with medications? which ones?

 
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Old 02-27-2009, 08:21 PM   #2
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Re: anxiety getting in the way of living my life.....what can i do??? at wit's end!!!

I did not see where you were given any meds for your anxiety,so here goes.I was
prescribed Atavin(Lorazapam)for my anxiety.It worked almost immediately,and did
get me out of my daily anx.You have many activities to ponder at the same time.
I think this may be part of the anxiety problem. Perhaps by reducing your multi-tasking,you can get a better over-view.Good luck....Bill

 
Old 02-28-2009, 01:25 AM   #3
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Re: anxiety getting in the way of living my life.....what can i do??? at wit's end!!!

I have xanax to take in acute attacks, but I am considering taking something daily to help keep the generalized anxiety at bay...
I do have a lot going on right now, and I intellectually understand why I am having anxiety, nevertheless, my response is over the top and totally detrimental to myself: it almost incapacitates me at a time I cannot afford to be out of commission....
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Old 02-28-2009, 02:28 PM   #4
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Re: anxiety getting in the way of living my life.....what can i do??? at wit's end!!!

Thank you kindly for your suggetions, it really helps to get feedback and feel a little less alone in all of this.
I am interested in trying something I can take daily, like an SSRI, that is not a benzo....The benzos are too addictive and strong for me, Id prefer soemthing I can take regularly to stave off the anxiety rather than just something for acute attacks.. i should note that I also have OCD (my primary diagnoses) and bouts of intense depression...but more than anything the anxiety permiates my thoughts, moods, health and well-being.
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Old 02-28-2009, 04:05 PM   #5
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Re: anxiety getting in the way of living my life.....what can i do??? at wit's end!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mochi* View Post
But now I am facing some major life-changes

Major life changes can bring on a lot of stress and anxiety. This can make it especially hard for someone with an anxiety disorder. I have Panic Disorder and Generalized anxiety disorder, and right now am experiencing uncontrollable worrying.



Quote:
Originally Posted by mochi* View Post
So, after nearly 7 months of intensive therapy (by intensive I mean twice a week and a lot of self-help books) I thought I was ready and NEEDING to make some changes..and here I am doing so...thinking I had learned better ways to cope with/squash the anxiety I feel SO TERRIBLY when making change...

Therapy can take several years to work through. All you can do is keep working on it.



Quote:
Originally Posted by mochi* View Post
AHHHHHHH!!
I'm sorry if this makes no sense. I am just so frustrated and at my wit's end because I have tried sooo many avenues to cope or avoid this thing. I am tiered of it getting in my way of living my life and being me@!!!!
Even when I feel ok (mentally) I sleep very heavily, but awake not feeling rested, I am lethargic, I grind my teeth HARD at night, and I keep waking up DRENCHED in sweat. What is going on???? I know I am fine, and can get through these changes if I could just relax and focus, but I cannot!!! It takes up all my time just managing my anxiety, and so I am so draineed/afraid/unfocused/ill that I cannot do what really needs to be done--it's like i am just surviving, barely!!!

Sounds like symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder. Having this disorder can make it difficult to function, especially without medication.



Quote:
Originally Posted by mochi* View Post
can anyone relate?
Yes, I can relate completely. I have several disorders including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and panic disorder with agoraphopia. I sounds like you could have GAD. I would research about anxiety disorders and discuss it over with your doctor. Also, some of the anti-depressants such as Prozac and Effexor are recommended for anxiety disorders. Benzodiazepines such as Ativan and Xanax are short term anxiety relief only. The anti-depressants work over the long term.



Quote:
Originally Posted by mochi* View Post
How can I resolve the problem of not being able to eat--cause this just makes the anxiety/dysfunction that much worse!!!
The nurse that works with my pdoc told me I have to force myself to "mechanically" eat. Eat small stuff that is easy on the stomach like soda biscuits/crackers, apple sauce, puddings, rice, bananas or another type of fruit. Just eat small bits. Also, you must make sure you are keeping your fluids up!




Quote:
Originally Posted by mochi* View Post
have you had any success with medications? which ones?
I currently take Prozac, Buspar and Seroquel and Remeron for my anxiety and depression and Ativan once a day. We have yet to find the right combination. I was just taken off of a very high dose of Effexor and put onto Prozac. With the medication changes I have had severe chronic anxiety and depression.

 
Old 03-01-2009, 07:59 PM   #6
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Re: anxiety getting in the way of living my life.....what can i do??? at wit's end!!!

I have had similar problems. I could have written what you wrote.
One bad thing was no matter how tired I was I would go to bed and soon after would get panic and would be wide awake for hours again.
I tried lexapro,paxal,zolof and did not like the way they made me fell.
I was using zanax for acute attacks.
I went through about 6 weeks of hell. Trying all these different meds.
I also had the not being able to eat if I did try it made me gag. I lost 25 pounds in 6 weeks.
I found a new medical person in a physc offfice. I think her title is Dr. Assistant or some such thing.
All she does is try to get people on the meds that make them fell better.
Then if you want consulting you see the doc.
Any way she stopped all the meds and started me on ClorazDipot (generic name) For general anxiety disorder. They come in all different strengths.
I ended up on two 7.5mg at night and one 7.5mg in morning. They last as long as 16 hours and work like zanax (only works about 3 hours).
Anyway I finally fell like a normal human being again and can function all day with out the symptoms I had. And am sleeping normally. Also my insurance does not cover this class of drug. It's going to cost me about $105.00 a month but the way they make me better is worth it I will find a way to get the money.
This was a God send for me. Hope this helps.

 
Old 03-02-2009, 03:40 PM   #7
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Re: anxiety getting in the way of living my life.....what can i do??? at wit's end!!!

I agree with the other posters that you likely have GAD. I've just recently been diagnosed with GAD and I understand how you're feeling -- I practically could have written your post myself! One thing I love about these boards is that it makes me feel good to know I'm not alone.

Everyone reacts differently to the various anxiety medications and it sometimes takes a little trial and error to find the right one. I've been taking Lexapro for about two months and it seems to be working well. My doctor decided to try Lexapro because it tends to work well for anxiety without interacting with other medications (I take meds for high blood pressure).

You're motivated and self-aware and I'm sure you'll conquer your anxiety issues -- good luck!

 
Old 03-04-2009, 11:28 PM   #8
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Re: anxiety getting in the way of living my life.....what can i do??? at wit's end!!!

I have anxiety as well. Seems mine is a little different than yours. Do you ever go for massages to relax ? Drink camamile, ginger or peppermint tea ? Meditation and deep breathing ? Sometimes these things help me a little.

 
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