PLEASE HELP-Not sure how to deal with this Anxiety or Panic attack
I'm curreny 21 years old. I gave birth to my son 1 1/2 ago. He was delivered C-section, Since then Ive had gall bladder surgery. Everything seemed to be back to normal. I haven't experienced anything like this in my life before so it's very new to me. Summer of 08'. I was watching a movie <WITH>family and I gasped for air. My heart was pounding. I swore up and down that my throat was swelling up. I thought I was dying.
I stayed up for hours all night thinking I was going to stop breathing while I was sleeping. So my boyfriend (father of my son) layed up all night next to me awake just to make sure. I really freaked him out. The next day I woke up I was thinking to myself like. This could only happen once, right? I got out of bed and was lightheaded and had this foggy like glaze over me (kind of hard for me to explain exactly how i felt) I felt like I was in a dream like everything around me just wasn't real including me having a child and my apartment like everything was like just UNREAL if you can relate please let me know. I feel like such an idiot telling people this but I believe it's time i start talking about it or I'm going to start thinking im insane, <BECAUSE> I'm well on my way.
So afterwards I got in the car <WITH> the family to take a ride thinking it would take it away. I couldn't eat for days I couldn't even stand on my two feet. Just laid still scared of feeling that 'feeling' again if you know wat I mean. I was so upset my son lost so much time <WITH>me and I couldn't do anything about it. I went to see a DR. went through blood tests , pregnancy test. etc everything came back fine. She put me Wellbutrin. I stopped taking it. It wasnt doing anything. Miraculously it just ended up going away. I was scared for my family to leave. Thinking that if they did. I'd faint and my son wouldnt be able to help me <BECAUSE> hes too small. But i got over it.
It's been about 7 months and I feel as if the symptoms are beginning to come back. They come in jolts or like waves i almost feel as if i get butterflies in my stomach and then i feel very unreal and like im in a dream of some sort. then i talk my self out of it. Ive become very weird about leaving my house. It's like i feel fine until I know i have to go grocery shopping or anywhere in the public. But im thinking to myself why? i thought i was better? for those 7 months ive been able to eat out at a few resteraunts. go shopping. and do fine. Now it's back? WHAT DO I DO? I can't do this to my son.. My family thinks im crazy. I can't even hold a job in fear that If i do something wrong or WHATEVER it will trigger an attack and I'll collapse and people will either laugh or whatever they will do i dont know. I can't deal with this. I need help.
My mother keeps telling me get a job. but i know i cant <BECAUSE> i have this freaking anxiety about public or something. I need to know if anyonie else is experiecing any of these symptoms. And why do they come and go like that. Even months in between. It makes no sense. Ive been doing research for medications and i just dont know whats right <BECAUSE> alot of these are for depression and honestly im not depressed its just these freaking attacks. I would appreciated any response. It's greatly appreciated.
Last edited by ms_mod; 03-15-2009 at 08:37 AM.
Reason: As per the posting rules, always use whole, real words in your posts. Ms_Mod
Re: PLEASE HELP-Not sure how to deal with this Anxiety or Panic attack
Just know you arent alone when it comes to these horrible symptoms of panic and anxiety. I can tell you my story and relate. I was working one day just standing at the register and I was having a good day at that and all of a sudden I got this dizzy feeling like I was about to pass out on the spot. So I took a deep breath and said I needed to sit down. I went to sit down in the back room and didn't feel well. My arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes, face, and mouth went tingly and started to feel completely numb. My vision became really blurry and my heart began to race. I felt like I was falling backwards when I was actually sitting in a chair. I was hyperventilating and I could not catch my breath. I felt very sick like I was about to vomit. I had no idea what was going on with me. I told them to call an ambulance and went straight to the hospital. They did full panel bloodwork on me and found nothing wrong. They came in and told me I had a panic attack and gave me xanax.
The whole night I felt in a daze, sick, and completely out of it. My brian was in a fog and I began to slowly develop irrational fears. I had to take 2 months off of work because I would not leave my house to drive. I was too afraid of getting into an accident in case I passed out while having an attack. Its a horrible thing to live through. I lost a total of 14 lbs while dealing with this. I have since gained back and am able to eat somewhat normally at times. These panic attacks have changed my life. You go about your daily routine after they have subsided thinking "are they going to come back" and when we do that, I think our brain signals that they have to come back out again. Its like a vicious cycle. Just know you are not alone.
I have found these boards to be EXTREMELY helpful during this time since I am not currently in counseling right now. I am on medication (Celexa 20mg) for my panic attacks. I was on lexapro and it worked well but my insurance no longer covered it. I used to be ANTI-ssri's and would down anyone who took them, but not until I had to go through this myself, did I realize what a lifesaver they have become to me in being able to go about my daily routine.
You have a lot of stuff on your plate. You have a son, you had surgery, and I bet you have a lot of other unresolved issues that may be there you just dont know about yet (subconscious). I know that I had anxiety for years but I am FINALLY realizing thats what it was and nothing else... they didnt manifest (the unresolved issues) I think until I started having the panic attacks and all hell broke loose. Sometimes our body does that. Its unfortunate that we have to go through these things.
We dont think your crazy, and hopefully your family will understand. The only thing you can do is continually talk to them about it and have them understand. I had to do this with my mom. She still does not like the fact that I take medication for it, but she realizes without it I wouldnt be able to function so its a decision you have to make for yourself. Most people think its crazy, but I am open to talking about it because I think it teaches people more about our problem. After a while, people begin to understand. I pray for you and hope that you find what works for you, whether it be counseling or breathing exercises and meditation or medication. Just know that it CAN be controlled and you WILL be ok. =)
Last edited by ms_mod; 03-15-2009 at 08:40 AM.
Reason: Broke post into paragraphs to make it easier to read. Ms_Mod
Re: PLEASE HELP-Not sure how to deal with this Anxiety or Panic attack
Also, they say they are for depression but many of them are also used to treat panic disorder and anxiety. I used to take lexapro, now I take celexa. They both work pretty well. Prozac is another, pristiq is a new one my grandmother is on and she loves it, paxil, effexor, cymbalta... i would ask the doc which one he suggests.