Horrible Constant anxiety - Anxiety Message Board

Tyler945 · 03-22-2009, 06:26 PM

Going to make this as short as possible in an attempt that someone will read my story. I had minor anxiety in my highschool days but nothing I couldnt manage. After highschool and a few troubles with some girls , I began shutting myself off from friends and most of the outside world. I was skipping school, unemployed and mostly at home by myself as of hte past year and a half. As of 6 months ago I began only going out with people my age when i was drunk. 2 months ago I decided to get a job and start back with school. This sent me into intense 24/7 anxiety. After about a week of working and school, I began feeling better, then 2 weeks later my symptoms started becoming even worse. By now I am thinking almost 24/7 negatively and going over the same thigns over and over in my head. I am loosing hope and feel I will never get better. I developed this sense that I will only be happy with close relationships and I cant even be comfortable around close friends that I have known for 10 + years. I still havent had a girlfriend in my life or been laid and im turning 21 in 2 weeks. This weighs heavily and makes everything seem even more hopeless.

I feel myself worsening every day and now have found myself only enjoying sitting on the internet and looking up mental illness's and the medicines that go along with them, including all the horror stories. Probably spend 4 or 5 hours a day now doing this and I know its very unhealthy to be obssesing like I have been. I cant even get comfortable on a day when I know I have nothing to do. And i find myself becoming distant from even my parents who I have been extremelly close with during the tough times.

I started seeing a psychologist who after 5 visits still spends the entire session talking about hwo only medicine will turn this around and writing letters to my psychiatrist. He claims I need the medicine to calm me down before anything can be done. He still doesnt even know my name and I am starting with a new psychologist this week. I have only been to the psychiatrist once and they gave me seroquel. Took it for 2 days got amazing sleep but felt like a zombie during the day and found myself becoming more depressed. I have no hope in medicine as I have read all the horror stories online and my brother has been on effexor and lamictal for 7 years and is as worse as ever and tells me pharmaceuticals are all about money.

Any kind of support or advice would be very appreciated. I hate this hopeless feeling.

Lourage · 03-22-2009, 07:53 PM

You sound just like me! I only drink beer ( have to go out with friends or else my anxiety wont allow me to do anything) I don't drive, don't work, don't have a girlfriend, dropped out of school, all due to my anxiety.

I was seeing a pyschologist, but i thought it was such garbage. 8 sessions of him trying to hypnotize me lol. I had one though who was " lets try this without medication" and at the time i ha dno clue that they couldn't prescribe medication! Every week going there was hell though, and it just made my anxiety worse. I would listen to yours and see about getting on a medication. They really will help to calm you down though!

Lolly76 · 03-23-2009, 10:05 PM

As hard as it may be - try not to let other people's experiences affect how you deal with your own anxiety issues.
While those medications may not have worked for your brother - they could be well suited to you.
In my personal case - medication has been very effective in relieving me of my symptoms. For every bad story you read on the internet, there's a positve one.
It can take a while to find a medication that suits you, but the process of trying can't be any worse than feeling the way you currently do.
Best of luck.

PeteyChang · 03-26-2009, 05:43 AM

Hello!

The way I've gotten over a lot of my initial anxiety is to really push my comfort zone; which when I was started was practically everything!

Of course if you're scared of heights you don't go straight to the 10m diving board, you start at the 3m one... sure, it's still scary, but it's something you can handle. Eventually the smaller things that used to cause you anxiety cease to exist as you become accustomed to them, at which point you can start moving on to the larger things.

So basically lean over your edge, but don't go jumping over it. I forgot the quote, but it was something like 'the journey of 1000 miles starts with one single step.'

Also remember, fear is growth waiting to happen

spungy · 03-26-2009, 12:29 PM

I agree that you should take some meds.
I was so against them at the begining ..I tried everything..all kinds of natural stuff too.
But I have to say...I am so glad I took them..they make my life liveable.
I am social when on them aswell..not the shy girl I have always been.
And yea it can't be worse than your feeling now..right?
I have gone from being a person totally against meds..to a person who praises them!
My life would be hell without them.
Hope you get through this.