Hey, spungy, thanks for your reply.
My doc has me on wellbutrin (which is useless/making my anxiety worse) and as far as she's concerned her job is finished. She doesn't even believe in ADs to begin with and hates the fact that I want to be back on them. On top of that she won't make an actual decision regarding care -- she just pulls the old "well you'll have to see a specialist"...mean while it's taking 12 months to see some of the specialists she's sending me to. I've got my psych referral (finally after 3 months) for next week, and as I can also never get an appointment to see my family doc I had no choice but to seek out an ativan prescription...but it's just not helping and making some things worse.
I have an appointment with a new counselor tomorrow...third one in three months. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of call this crap. I just want to feel happy and normal.