First Time Post- My past year - Anxiety Message Board

Afterthislife · 05-30-2009, 06:55 AM

I have suffered with debilitating anxiety for what I thought was only the past several years but I have come to realize it has been a life long problem. I was diagnosed with PTSD after witnessing someone being murdered but I feel like this is really only the tip of the iceburg. I have been very very pro-active in trying to get help but I am not sure I am really any better. In the past year I have been place on no less that 15 different medications (not all at the same time) but nothing has really seemed to work. In fact I feel like things are almost worse than from when I started this journey.

I am trying to keep everything together but I have to say it has been a struggle to preform well at my job, keep a long term relationship going, and keeping myself from harming myself. I think the worst part of it is my panic attacks. I try to hide as much of my anxiety and severe OCD as possible but I have these panic attacks where I drop to the floor and just hyperventilate in the fetal position. I managed to go 2 years with out having one at work but last week this went to hell. Now no one at my office knows how to "deal with me". I hate being the office joke.

Do people agree that those who have never had panic attacks will never understand those who do?

Does it get better? Im on three different meds now, which have caused insomnia, an irreversal hand tremor, and difficulty concentrating at work.

Im 24, this cant be the best part of my life right? Things do change??

TimRitz · 05-30-2009, 08:41 AM

I would say it is true that unless you really experience a panic attack for yourself you can never truly get what they are like.

Remember that the people you work with are never going to really understand. Although it may be necessary to get along with them for your job, in the long run it does not matter what they think of you...It matters what you think of yourself.

I am 21 myself, and struggle with intense anxiety on a daily, and sometimes hourly basis. But the key thing is to remember that the struggle with anxiety does not mean you cant have a good time and enjoy your life.

I can promise you that if you work hard, things will get better. The first thing is to understand that meds alone can't cure you. I would suggest that you also talk to a therapist and do behavioral therapy.

The first thing you should do is identify what exactly triggers these panic attacks...What are you afraid of? What is causing you to panic? Once you have done that, label these thoughts as anxiety and realize that they are not you own, reasonable thoughts. Then you can go to work confronting them. When you feel a panic attack coming on, say to yourself over and over "This is my anxiety. I can fight this. I will feel better."

But most importantly, work with a therapist on a strategy of how to control your thoughts when you feel a panic attack coming on.

DaveyBob · 05-30-2009, 07:03 PM

I'd like to agree completely with this reply. Medications can help with symptoms, but it would be really good if you could get to the actual problem.

While I did not have panic attacks like yours, I had several months of insomnia and incapacitating anxiety...one long panic attack. (See my recent story in "Anxiety Tips" on beating hypochondria.)

Over time I learned where my anxiety was coming from. The meds "greased the skids" so that I could work on that problem with the help of a therapist and a useful book. It took some time and patience, but I did get out of that hole.

I think if I had panic attacks at work, I would tells people there what was going on. I think that anyone could understand your situation given your story. So that would give you one less thing to worry about...deal with the elephant in the room. You might find a lot of support from friends at work. Of course, if you think it unwise to do that, you shouldn't.

What I eventually learned to do was challenge and categorize my thoughts. The medications slowed down my hyperactive brain just enough so that I could kind of get a chance to do that. I would write down the thought that was nagging me, always about a health concern. And I'd make a list of why that thought was probably right, or probably wrong. And over time, I came to see that these were all just over-reactions, not based on fact...just worry.

I know we have different stories, but maybe there's something in that technique you can use.

I also learned to make time in the day for calm. For me, it is a walk around on the outside. I take the time to hear the birds sing, watch the flowers come up, or watch the clouds float by. Doing that won't fix any immediate anxiety, but it does seem to act like a preventative.

Don't be too hard on yourself.